Chanel: Ugh, this sweater is really itchy. Is it too late to change?
Production Guy: We're live.
Chanel: It'll only take me a moment. Please.
Production Guy: No, we're live.
Chanel: Fine. Hello, and welcome to the house tour for this season of High Hopes, the Hunt or Be Hunted Edition. Jeez, so many H words.
Production: Roll with it.
Chanel: Hello, my name is Chanel Francis, and I will be only hosting this house tour and the occasional challenge. Seriously? The occasional challenge?
Production Guy: Your sister is the real host.
Chanel: Real host? Are you calling me fake. *tears up* Kidding.
Chanel: This house is adorable. I've been living here for the past week. Can I say that?
Production Guy: Technically, no.
Chanel: Who cares? Not me. Anyway, as you can see, this hot tub here...will not be accessible to the contestants. Sorry.
Chanel: Neither will this cute seating space. Why'd you bother with this then?
Production Guy: Nobody likes a plain grey wall as their entrance.
Chanel: But the walls are brown?
Chanel: Moving on! That TV must have cost you money, what a waste.
Production Guy: Not really. We can use it.
Production Woman: Nice one, Frank.
Chanel: Whatever, I'm going inside. Can you all stay out here, you're beginning to piss me off.
Production Woman: Whatever. Frank, let's go shopping.
Chanel: Good, see ya! Cameraman, follow me.
Chanel: Here we have the elimination centre, where our host will be chatting with the eliminated contestants before they leave the house. Originally, I asked if we'd be killing them off, but apparently that's illegal, so, no.
Chanel: Here's the entrance to the house! Are you excited? I feel like I'm about to be that lion in the movie when he returns home to take back his kingdom.
Cameraman: What, the Lion King?
Chanel: No, no. I think it was called Home Alone.
Cameraman: Right...*facepalm* *nearly drops camera*
Chanel: Come on, camera dude, it's time. Let's enter the house!
Cameraman: Maybe you should learn my name.
Chanel: Okay, Captain Obvious. Moving on!
Cameraman: Maybe you should learn my name.
Chanel: Okay, Captain Obvious. Moving on!
Chanel: This here is a small table with the only clock in the house and one of the many potted plants. I assume the creator likes plants.
Cameraman: The creator? Do you mean the builder?
Chanel: Yeah, sure.
Chanel: This is the Elimination Lounge. Contestants will wait here for the results to both the daily elimination call and the quiz results. If a contestant is sent home, this will be the last time they see their fellow contestants. This room seats 12 people and features a massive television.
Cameraman: Your sister wants to talk to you.
Chanel: Chad, please.
Cameraman: My name is Joaquin.
Chanel: Okay, sis, I'm in the middle of this tour.
Greta (voice over): Hey, continue on. I'll talk to you later.
Chanel: Okay, let's keep moving. Outside we go.
Greta (voice over): Don't forget to mention the windows.
Chanel: Right.
Chanel: These windows right here are one way glass, which provides our cameras with a secure procedure for filming. Hidden and secret hallways wind around this house, so the production folks can be like ninjas!
Cameraman: We're not ninjas.
Chanel: Let's just go outside.
Chanel: Walking outside, the contestants can grill on the expensive barbecue...
Chanel: Swim in the outdoor pool with an added bonus of shrubbery...Tested that pool myself...
Greta (voice over): Keep going, sis! You're doing great.
Chanel: Thanks, baby.
Chanel: Here we have a quiet corner of the garden. Don't worry, *laughs*, those tools are glassed shut.
Cameraman: So killing you is out of the question?
Chanel: *laughs* Oh, Walking, that's such a funny joke.
Cameraman: Whatever.
Chanel: And, of course, we have cameras! Sometimes this guy can't help us enough.
Cameraman: Hey! What about last night?
Chanel: What about it? Moving on...
Chanel: The Diary Room! Couldn't forget about this lovely piece of space, could we?
Greta (voice over): No, no we definitely couldn't.
Chanel: I don't know if anyone remembers me, but I was on last season you know! I was one of the contestants! It was magical.
Greta (voice over): Honey, you actually weren't. That was yesterday. We were testing the procedures.
Chanel: I'm changing out of this sweater. It's making me sad.
Chanel: Much better, let's go inside.
Chanel: Here we go, the living space. This year, we have decided to bring the style of the reds and browns and a log cabin into the house...
Cameraman: None of what you said made sense.
Chanel: I only know fashion, I'm sorry. I think they hired me for the wrong tour.
Chanel: Here we have the dining room, featuring an 8-seater table setting, two fashionable lights, a rug and a picture of sunflowers.
Cameraman: Three pictures.
Chanel: Hey, did I ask for you to correct me. It's one picture.
Cameraman: Three canvases.
Chanel: Whatever, moving on.
Chanel: Thanks to the expansion of the nearest buy store or whatever, we now have an adorable Foosball table! Woo!
Greta (voice over): Keep going, Chanel.
Chanel: I don't need encouragement, I'm not twelve.
Chanel: Here we have a small desk area, but because the rules mean no electronics beside the TVs for the announcements, no computer thingys. Who ever uses those lights anymore, Greta?
Cameraman: It's antique.
Chanel: You're not my sister, she's more attractive.
Chanel: This area is for the quitter of the group.
Greta (voice over): Chanel, it's quieter.
Chanel: That's what I said, the librarians who enjoy reading and sitting. The quitters?
Greta (voice over): We'll talk later.
Chanel: This is the living space for sitting to chat and enjoy their time. I can already imagine the weekly session of The Real Housewives of Windenburg.
Cameraman: Yeah, the TVs are only connected to our server.
Chanel: You banned the Real Housewives? Moving on.
Chanel: From the living space, you'll reach a small bathroom with a bath tub. Exciting! Not really, I want to show off the better parts of the house.
Chanel: This way please. Oh my god, that was amazing! I need to do that more often.
Greta (voice over): Continue with the tour, sis.
Chanel: If we continue down this small continue down this hallway, we'll reach the next part of the house. Which is.....which is.....cameraman, follow me!
Chanel: The bedrooms! This house features two bedrooms for the contestants to choose from, both featuring six beds. Hopefully the contestants will enjoy these beds we bought for them. These flashcards are horrible.
Production Guy: I'm sorry, princess.
Chanel: Frank! You're back!
Production Guy: I forgot my keys.
Chanel: These bedrooms are really only for sleeping, so I don't really know what else to say. That isn't real giraffe on the floor, is it?
Greta (voice over): Of course not, sweetie. Stop worrying about it.
Chanel: Okay, I'll continue with the tour.
Chanel: Exiting from this bedroom, we come to a hallway with three doors, a couch and a fancy rug we bought from the same new expansion at the store. It's unique, sure. Let's enter into the door on the left.
Chanel: This is the main bathroom. Here, the contestants will spend some time, barely any, showering and- I'm sorry, this sentence is strange. This is the bathroom, full stop.
Chanel: Can we move on? I don't think these shots are important.
Cameraman: Any shot is important...
Chanel: If you believe, got it. Next room.
Chanel: Let's enter the door at the end of the hall next.
Chanel: This is the second bedroom, where the other six contestants will be sleeping. The choice is always up to them, and if they begin to hate one another, they can always swap. Or kill each other. Kidding.
Cameraman: Right.
Chanel: Once more, the rugs are not made from real giraffe as I had thought. They're just rugs. Matching pattern rugs. Different coloured rugs....Moving on!
Chanel: This is the final door for this hallway before we head back to the living room. What's behind this door? A secret lagoon? A spa retreat? A club gathering? Two robbers attacking a little boy?
Cameraman: Home Alone! Right.
Chanel: No, I was talking about Avatar, duh. Remember, when the two aliens visit that pool place.
Cameraman: Does that happen? Can we just enter the room.
Chanel: Sure. Right after this long pause.
Chanel: The dressing room! Here, the contestants can come to hide and talk about alliances and the hunt as they get dressed.
Tiger: Here's an idea, EA. The Sims 4: Get Dressed. You seem to love the word 'get'.
Chanel: Did I hear someone?
Greta (voice over): What's that door over there, Chanel?
Chanel: Oh, that's strange, sis. I've never seen it before. What is it?
Greta (voice over): That's a closet. Fancy, huh?
Chanel: No, I have one at home.
Chanel: Hey, I'm back in this hallway! That's exciting! Now, we're about to enter to the best part of the house, in my opinion at least. It's just so adorable, and I believe there's food in the fridge. They did put a fridge in there, right?
Chanel: It's time to enter, the kitchen!
Chanel: Colour speaks volumes, and so does this room. The counters, specifically non-matching, the pink fridge that reminds me of a cow, the puzzle piece connected floor mat, the bright ensemble bar stools. This room is heaven, with colourful food posters.
Cameraman: I like bacon and eggs.
Chanel: Same, Joaquin.
Cameraman: *swoons and widens smile*
Chanel: You like the avocado poster too?
Cameraman: I do.
Chanel: It's not Christmas without presents, is it? That's why I was wearing the sweater earlier.
Greta (voice over): I like that sweater.
Chanel: Well it's not yours. It's mine. Notice the windows and the dark red couch to sit on so that the cameramen can get a perfect shot of the back of your head or neck.
Chanel: There's soooooo many fireplaces in this house. At least this one is purple, and has cute adorable posters above it. Camera dude, can you buy me one?
Cameraman: Well I knew it wouldn't last long. I sure will, Chanel!
Chanel: *squee* Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you, Joaquin.
Chanel: Can I have one of these too?
Greta (voice over): You can anything but those. They've been here for a while.
Chanel: Yuck, continuing with the tour.
Chanel: Stop taking shots from my behind. We're going to the dark room.
Chanel: I see you behind me, Jo.
Cameraman: Nick names? We're moving fast.
Chanel: Oh, I am. Sorry, I'll try to slow down.
Chanel: We're here! This is my least favourite room, because it's sooo boring. There was this guy in my college, and his name was Sabio, and he was so boring, and he had literally no personality at all. I tried to talk to him once and he suggested that I leave him alone, but he didn't seem angry or sarcastic or sad or whatever. He just said it. I hate him. This room reminds me of him.
Cameraman: You still want to enter?
Chanel: No, go on without me.
Cameraman: Can we have a movie marathon later?
Chanel: Please. Go on. I'll yell things to you.
Cameraman: Okay, here we are.
Chanel: Is this working? Hi, my name is Chanel, and this is the Hunted Room.
Cameraman: We all know your name.
Chanel: Someone in there might not. I can't see who's in there.
Cameraman: No one is. Do you want me to tell the viewers what this room is for?
Chanel: Could you?
Cameraman: Sure. This is where the contestants will meet for the Hunted quiz, a quiz that will determine how close each contestant is to revealing who is targeting them. If you score highest, you earn a prize that could benefit you in the game.
Chanel: Thank you.
Cameraman: This is the Chamber of Secrets, where you will be asked a series of questions regarding the hunter who is tracking you. This sound proof room has nothing to do with Harry Potter, we just liked the name. On the plus side, in here, you can confess to having ulterior motives about death and nobody can hurt you.
Chanel: Did you call for me, Jo?
Cameraman: No.
Chanel: Okay, I'm fine now. Let's go through the last door we need to enter.
Greta (voice over): There's another door behind this one, sweetie.
Chanel: That's fun. This room is.....
Chanel: The challenge room! Yes, it looks crowded, but I promise these things will change. In here, the contestants will compete in the weekly challenge that will determine who will rank points against their target. The winner will receive three points, the second place holder will receive two points and the third place holder will receive one point. Unless, a Captain Challenge occurs.
Chanel: In a Captain Challenge, the marker placed over one contestant's name will decide who and how many points are sorted. However, these challenges are rare and there is a possibility only one will occur.
Cameraman: Do you want to...watch those movies now?
Chanel: Okay, but I have one more thing to do.
Cameraman: Sure.
----
Chanel: Much better. See you next time.
