Hunt or Be Hunted Episode Five: Go The Distance

High Hopes Season 2: Hunt or Be Hunted, Episode Five: Go The Distance

Greta: I'm so tired. Why am I hosting today, Bart? Send in my understudy. 

Bart: Uh, you don't have an understudy. You're not on stage. Got it?

Greta: See, this is what I hate about you. You couldn't hire someone else to fill in while I sleep? 

Bart: Hey, Greta, we're actually live. Maybe you can sleep on the ad breaks! 

Greta: Have fun waking me up. (he glares at her) Okay, okay! 

Greta: Good day to you all, and welcome back to the second season of High Hopes, more commonly known as Hunt or Be Hunted. We're here at episode five, so without further ado.....the contestants.

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Clyde: Did you sleep well, Irma? Oh wait- I bet sleeping isn'y necessary for a robot like you. 

Irma: I power down, yes. I do not need a bed place like the humans. Like you. 

Clyde: Well, that's definitely swell for you. I slept okay, I suppose. Nothing too boring. 

Irma: You mean you did not dream, Clyde sir. 

Clyde: Uh, none last night. 

Irma: Why, Clyde sir, that's terribly disappointing. You ought to seek out your programmer and ask him to fix you all out. You should be able to dream, sir. 

Clyde: Uh...Irma, I'm not a robot. I have no 'programmer'. Not that I know of anyway. 

Irma: Well, I cannot help you I'm afraid. I myself do not calibrate to the needs of one's sleep, however I do know of a fellow robot named Isna who deals with such. Shall I seek her for you?

Clyde: Gee, I would love that, but we aren't allowed to talk to anyone while we're in here. You couldn't possibly speak with her. 

Irma: I have my ways, Clyde sir-

Clyde: No need to call me sir, Irma. 

Irma: My sincerest apologies, Clyde. Yes, Clyde. Okay, Clyde. 

Clyde: Are you alright, Irma? Would you like me to help you with anything?  

Irma: That will not be necessary. 

Clyde: Well, it's been a pleasure talking to you. We'll see each other around in this house, won't we? It's good to have a friend. 
Irma: Yes, Clyde. I shall be going to contact Isna. 

Irma: Goodbye, Clyde sir. 
Clyde: Hey! It's only Clyde.

Clyde: I hope she's aware that's a bathroom. She won't find any phones in there. Well, I better head towards the kitchen. Find something to chew on.

 

TJ: Oh- I'm sorry. 

Clyde: TJ! It's nice to see you. How did you sleep? 

TJ: Oh, uh...well, I guess. I was just heading into the bathroom-

Clyde: Irma only just headed in there. 

TJ: Oh well. 

Clyde: Well, how about we have a little chat? I've been meaning to talk to you about some things since last night and here we are-

TJ: Oh, you'd like to talk? Uh, sure. 

Clyde: It'll only be short, TJ. 

TJ: Take your time, I'll be here all day. Not like I'm leaving this competition anytime soon. 

Clyde: That is great news. I'd only like a few minutes of your time. 

TJ: Whenever you're ready, man. 

Clyde: Right. 

Clyde: Okay, where did you go? 

TJ: I sat down behind you, bro. Turn around. 

Clyde: Oh, you did? 

Clyde: You did. I shall sit down beside you then. 

TJ: Dude, you're freaking me out. Why are you acting so suspicious and weird right now? You aren't-

Clyde: Let me speak, TJ. 

Clyde: I think someone...I think someone might be watching me. 

TJ: Are you serious, man? The whole stinkin' world is watching you. 

Clyde: I mean inside this house. I feel wrong. 

TJ: Oh right! Yeah, someone is stalking you. Following your every move, closely stalking you. 

Clyde: You feel it too! Thank goodness. 

TJ: Of course I feel it. It's an important part of this game. You'll get used to it, I did. I always thought the police were watching me but I forgot about it after a while. The cameras didn't scare me after that. 

Clyde: I don't think the police are stalking me. 

TJ: Dude, forget about it. Focus on winning the next challenge and forget about whoever could be watching or following you. Try it. 

Clyde: You think that works? Maybe I will try. 

Irma: Thank goodness for human flesh. I can wash my hands safely now.

Irma: Isna, are you still connected? How do you feel about guiding a friend of mine through a sleep session. Much appreciated and I salute you. 

*she leaves the bathroom* 

Irma: Clyde sir, I have some...good news. Yes, good news. 

Clyde: Oh, hello again Irma. 

Irma: Did I interrupt something, master TJ? Can I calll you by your birth name, sir? 

 TJ: You didn't interrupt anything, and no, you cannot. My name is TJ, christ. 

Irma: Shouldn't that be capitalised, sir? 

TJ: I don't even care. Throw me out the window of a ten-storey builing and I'll be as right as rain. As left as sun. Whatever. 

Irma: That is not a saying, TJ sir. 

TJ: Whatever. 

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TJ: In the end the party was worthy to visit it. The white leggings part wasn't the bad thing about this party. It's just that Marsha doesn't accept anything that she doesn't know or like. If she could rule this house, everybody would have to be exactly like her. That's why I don't like her videos. Maybe if she could tolerate more things she wouldn't be that annoying. Devra did the right thing that night. Maybe it was a bit too plum, but she had a very big point. Even though I dislike people who want to control the life of others, Devra is a good player here and actually she is not that bad. Now to Sara or whatever; she reminds me of my mum. Too plum, too selfish, too sneaky. She always says how much she hates children. I can't hear that anymore. I don't care how rich and famous you are, I don't care about your looks, which isn't even a good look. I care about personality and people who are real. Also, how could someone hate children. I don't look like that kind of guy, but children are actually really cool. Maybe they just don't wanted to buy her collection *laughs*. Irma creeps the plum outta me. She is like a living robot....Oh, now that makes sense, Irma Roboot, the Female Robot...ew!!! Bradley is really cool, he just makes his things and lives his life. I'm kinda jealous, he must have had good parents. Mum and Dad, if you hear this, f**k you both, I told you that I can live without your f**king money.
Jamie is the typical shy, awkward girl, I wonder how she can handle these challenges when she already has problems when Jocelyn sings. Ted is okay, but way too excited for my favour. I think he tries to prove to his wife that he can handle this too hard. Jocelyn is cool, too. She has an interesting backstory and I can see why Bradley has such a thing for her. I didn't have the opportunity to really talk to Clyde before today. I know I'm not the social type of guy, but he reminds me of my uncle, and he was the only one in my family who wasn't such a d***** bag. Maybe he is just frightened about my outlook, which was actually my main goal here. Till now Devra, Jocelyn and Bradley are the only ones I kinda trust. I just hope that crazy host doesn't disturb my training again, else I turn super-saiyan on her.
Yannik, the Manager of TJ (and multiple others): Um, are you sure? I mean, the viewers...   
TJ: I only repeat myself; I won't play the nice guy so this show has more viewers. Don't act like my Dad. That's what I get when my parents hire my manager. Yannik, the Manager: That's because I'm the only one that can handle a f**kboy like you! TJ: Pfff, whatever!

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Jocelyn: *singing* Primadonna girl. Yeah. All I ever wanted was the world. I can't help that I want it all. 

Bradley: *yelling* Jo! Are you coming to swim? 

Jocelyn: In a minute! 

Jocelyn: You can do this, Jo. You look...well, you look average. No, you look good in this bikini. It's just Bradley. Maybe I don't want it to be 'just Bradley'?

Jocelyn: Why am I still standing here, talking to myself? I've never been scared to wear anything like this before. It's all about Brad, isn't it?

Jocelyn: I can do this. It's so stinkin' hot out here, I can't just lounge around in the bathroom. Let's do this. I can do this.

Jocelyn: My name is Jocelyn freaking McGray. I dived head first into this competition and I won't let some boy fool me into dropping out. I will win this. 

Greta: Yeah, and I'll sleep. 

Jocelyn: Did you have to ruin my pep-talk? 

Jocelyn: Okay, here I go. Wish me luck. 

Greta: Good luck. 

Jocelyn: Yeah, thanks. 

Jocelyn: *opening the door* Jesus, it's so hot out here. Why are people still living? 

Bradley: Is that the voice of an angel I can hear? 

Jocelyn: Very funny. I'm finally here, you don't want to compliment my lateness. 

Bradley: Uh, no thank you. 

Jocelyn: Oh well. 

Bradley: I'll just scoot over here. I like how you're acting, miss. 

Jocelyn: Do you now? You want me to walk back inside now? Please. 

Zara: No one wants to talk to me?  

Bradley: You look so beautiful. I can't believe you haven't been dressed like this more often. 

Jocelyn: I think how I dress usually is fine. 

Bradley: I wasn't saying that. 

Bradley: It's wonderful seeing you comfortable in this heat, is all. 

Jocelyn: Oh. I'm sorry I thought you weren't complimenting me. 

Bradley: It's okay. 

Jocelyn: I can't believe you have such large muscles! You should be modelling. 

Bradley: What? That's like the third time today someone has said that. 

Jocelyn: I think you may as well. It'll be something for you to do, and the ladies love modelling. 

Bradley: I only have eyes for you. 

Zara: Oh please. I cannot stand some people in this house. 

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Marsha: Ewe look one-deerful, Teddy. Don't compleen. 
Ted: I don't think my wife would be very supportive of me wearing these pants. 
Marsha: Forget eet. 

Ted: What am I wearing, Marsha? I look like one of those weird street kids with the dreadlocks and the weird armbands. Is this fashion now?

Marsha: Yesh! So trendean. 

Ted: I do not feel 'trending'. I feel old and I feel like I'm failing at keeping up with the latest 'trends'. 

Marsha: I knough fasheen! I emm a fasheen extrodimanaires.

Ted: I'm sorry, you're a what? 

Marsha: Fasheen extmashindearians. 

Ted: A fashion extrmasansdses? What exactly is that, my dear? 

Marsha: Gee, you arrrrh eld. A fasheem exdrondinamersa is-

Ted: I have no clue what you are saying. 

Marsha: I leek fasheen! I emm fasheen! You need fasheem! 

Ted: You're damn right. 

Marsha: *trying to mimic him* You're deeme reeght. 

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Jamie: Oh...uh, hello internet. 

Bart: You're talking to the television screens and the people who watch TV. This is only screened on the internet illegally. 

Jamie: Ah. Jocelyn ditched me. She has a new friend. 

Bart: When did you first realise you were a third-wheel? 

Jamie: Uh...when the camera focused on them more often. I'm camera shy. 

Bart: That's okay. Ready for a voice over?  

Jamie: Hi, my name is Jamie. This is a...uh, birds drink from here. A bird pool? 
Bart: Close enough. Thank you for this, Jamie. 

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Devra: *sleeping* Aw, how sweet. My crown! You found it. 

Greta: Oh look. Someone is allowed to sleep. 

Bart: Oh shush. You stayed up late after...you know. 

Greta: You realise these microphones are on? Thanks, genius. 

Bart: No use lying about it. What did you do anyway? 

Greta: I re-watched some of The Sleeping Alive. It's ironic, really. 

Greta: Okay, I'm going in. 

Bart: I'll ensure the other contestants are in the living room. 

Greta: Good idea. 

Bart: Contestants, please report to the living room for a further annoucement. 

Clyde: I wonder if they're handing out care packages. 

Irma: Isna has arrived. Thank the heavens. 

Greta: These doors aren't loud, are they? 

Bart: They're as light and quiet as can be. You're free to enter, my lady. 

Greta: Who's brilliant idea was this anyway? It couldn't have been mine. 

Bart: No, it was actually my sister's idea. It happened to her once. 

Greta: That's depressing. 

Bart: You're in. Now, you have the object.

Greta: It's here, in my metaphorical inventory. No, seriously, the camerman has it. 

Bart: Thank you, sir. 

Greta: This feels creepy and all, but she's actually quite adorable while she sleeps. 

Devra: *sleep-talking* No! My crown. You evil monster. Marsha, no. 

Bart: She's a sleep talker. 

Greta: That's not important right now. Don't I look super adorable? 

Bart: You do, but why the whiskers? The nose? 

Greta: I'm a cat burglar. 

Greta: Okay, it's in place. She'll see it as soon as she wakes, provided it doesn't meet her fingers first. Maybe we should move it? 

Bart: No, leave it. You need to go. 

Greta: Okay, I'm leaving. Goodbye for now, Devra. 

Bart: We're not hurting her. It's just a rose. 

 Greta: Did you not hear the 'for now' part? The rose could hurt her though. 

Bart: Just leave her. 

Greta: I am, Production Guy.

Bart: Hey! They bumped me up to 'Bart' now. 

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Greta: Good afternoon, contestants! Wait- why are there only two of you? 

Bart: Surprise! This is the final two. 

Greta: Wait, what? 

Irma: Irma is confused. The others? 
Clyde: Clyde's happy. He made it this far.
Bart: I'm kidding. They're all outside still. 

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Greta: Haha. I will fool her into believing someone loves her. This plan is all mine! 
Bart: No, it's not. I like you and all, but no. 

Greta: *tries to lit fire* It's broken! Bart, it's broken! I can't light a dramatic fire! Help me! 

Bart: You can do it. Aim it towards the fireplace. 

Greta: *lights fire* Ah! Thank you! Fire! 

Bart: Calm down, you pyromaniac. 

Greta: I'm not insane, I swear. 

Greta: Ah, the feeling of heat on my hands. I can already taste the success. We'll be right back after this shot ad break. Thank you for watching. 

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 Voice: From the genius that is Tiger Blu comes a new story. Comes a story about the lives of six students and their teacher, Mr Quinlan. Comes a story about one girl who is like no other around her.

Mr Quinlan: Welcome to Bravleia Acadmemy. 

 Viola: *voice over* You might be wondering how I ended up in my bedroom on the floor, crying. I was in an accident that luckily didn't cause any significant damage, but did cause some minor damage to my legs. For a while, I couldn't walk. Until today, I hadn't tried but I wanted to. This is my result for trying to walk. I just collapse back down again. 


Justin: You could at least look at me.

Mr Quinlan: It's hard when you remind me of your mother. It's hard to look at you right now without thinking about her. 

Voice: Follow the story of Viola Dalton, and the story of those who...follow her around.
 Viola: I constantly feel like everyone is watching me.

 I don't know, it's foolish. 

 Victoria: Look at her, waltzing in here like she owns the place.  

Voice: As her soul is not the only soul haunting her body. 

Victoria: This is our host. She's the human who controls us. Without her, we're just lost souls. 

Sean: And she can't see us? 

Victoria: No. 

  Voice: The students uncover the mysteries of the dark....

April: Welcome to the hole in the roof. Welcome to the one room in this academy they wanted to keep a secret from us. 

Melanie: It's...old and it smells off. 

Daniel: Show yourself, bush demon! Whatever you... are, I'm... not afraid of you. 

???: I'm not the one trembling.

 Voice: The Soul Connection. Directed, produced and written by Tiger. The first seven chapters now available. Fall in love with the story. Fall in love with the characters. Fall in love with The Soul Connection.

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 Greta: Hello, and welcome back to Hunt or Be Hunted. Today's challenge is a game of risks. In each round, I will present the contestants a choice: to accept or deny the item in question. If they accept, they move forward. If they deny, they don't. Let's begin.

 Greta: Round One: Our staff have gathered up your most prized possessions. Do you wish to have them? 
Bradley: Uh, yes please. 
Devra: My crown! Please.

 Greta: Everyone but Zara and Jamie accepts. What the hell happened? Brilliant. Moving onto Round 2....but first, won't you all gaze lovingly at the field of daisies surrounding me? 
Irma: Irma notices. She doesn't have much to say. 
Jamie: I think they're lovely.

 Greta: Why thank you, Jocelyn. Had them specially shipped for today. Moving on. Round 2 is simple: Would you like to spend 12 hours in solitary? 
Jocelyn: Boy would I ever!

 Marsha: Moi cann rehearse her fasheen skhills. They arrgh tres bien. 
Ted: I'd enjoy the loneliness. I say yay. Is that right? 
Zara: No, leave me alone.

 Greta: TJ, Bradley, Jocelyn...
TJ: I'm in this for the long haul, baby. 
Jocelyn: You could say you're going the distance. 

 Greta: Devra, Marsha, Irma, Ted and Clyde all accept. You all move to the next round! Woo! 
Clyde: I won't be budging for a while, I'm afraid. I'm watching all of you. 
Ted: I don't see these harming me. 
Greta: So, we move on-

 Devra: Hold on. While we're speaking about solitary, I recieved a single rose this...well, when I woke up, and I'd like to know who sent it to me. I know it must have been one of these attractive males...
Marsha: Eet waseen't moi, bulleh.

Greta: This can all wait until after the challenge. Can we proceed?
Devra: I have solitary after the challenge! *she cries* 
Greta: Thank you. Let's continue.   

 Greta: Round 3 is sure to change your opinions. Are you willing to remove two points from your next challenge score? Remember you can always score high enough that this reduction has no impact. 
Jocelyn: I'm out. 
Ted: I'm afraid I am too. Goodbye.

 Greta: Only three contestants have agreed to move forward. TJ....
TJ: I ain't leaving without a fight!

 Greta: Marsha....
Marsha: Moi is conteent on steyeen in. 
Greta: Got it.

 Greta: And Irma! 
Irma: I am ready to destroy this competition. I can recharge and run my anti-virus scan in the solitary room afterwards. 
Greta: Good plan, Roboot.

 Greta: Moving onto Round 4. Which is: Are you willing to remove one point from the tally behing your target, which includes if you do not current have any points to their name. 
Bradley: Tough choice.

 TJ: I accept. 
Irma: As do I. 
Marsha: Moi yesh! 

Greta: You move to the next round. Are you willing to add two points to your target's next challenge? This means they earn two extra points to their final score. 

*the three nod*

Devra: Can someone please tell me who sent that rose? I'm begging you. 

Greta: No, we need to finish this challenge-

Devra: You  ungrateful little piece of-

 Greta: Now that Devra has been sent to solitary early, we will continue with the final round of this challenge. The tie-breaker. The three of you will answer this question: What is the current lot value of the Hunte Manor? The closest contestant will win this challenge. 
TJ: I can win this thing. 
Marsha: Bring eet on, Tee-Jay!

 Greta: The results are in. I can comfirm that the current lot value is.........$225,779! Which means that the winner of this challenge and the contestant receiving not only three points, but a grand total of six points is...

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 Greta: TJ Duncan! Well done. 
TJ: Can I not go to solitary today? Because I won and all. 
Greta: Nope! I can also confirm that Irma placed second and Marsha placed third. Thanks for your participation and the points are added to the tallies.

 Greta: Thank you for this quick build, Production Mick. This looks so...inviting. 
Production Mick: I try, I swear. 
Greta: Our guests will love it.

 TJ: Let me leave. This room smells like paint. 
Please, just let me leave.

Greta: No, we can't let you leave, TJ. However, we can let the viewers leave, and they will. Thank you for tuning into another episode of Hunt or Be Hunted, the second season of High Hopes. I'm your host, Greta Francis, and I'm the cutest cat burglar around. Coming up next, another episode of the timeless classic A Talk With Reality Shows with tonight's guests Eleanor Leblanc and Aric Caruso. Then, later, another timeless classic, Most Like it Cold starring Elizalyn Fonroe. Thank you and goodnight.