Here is the eigth episode of 'Outside the Target', titled...'Nights We Both Wake Up'...
TJ: That little Roboot- you three, stupid idiots. You stupid idiots for protecting her.
Marsha: *sadly* Wee arrgh naht eedoots...
TJ: Sure, tell yourself what you need to hear. I'm finding her, and when I find her, this all ends. Tonight.
Ted: All...ends? *cautious* Timothy, what do you have planned?
TJ: We all thought she died. No, I'm no murderer but...no more lying. If she's to be alive, she won't be free.
Marsha: Nooo! Nah moore cagheen 'er!
Clyde: Maybe...maybe it's best. For our sake. We wouldn't need to hide her anymore.
TJ: Exactly. The daddy understands.
Clyde: Please never call me 'daddy' again, Tim-
TJ: Oh, you don't like it? Well I am surprised. I just thought-
Clyde: I'm going outside to search for Irma. Maybe I can convince her-
Ted: I will...I will support Marsha in here.
Ted: Marsha?
Marsha: 'EE BEETAR NAHT TARCH MAH IRMEE!
*she collapses to the wooden flooring, sore yet grasping desperately at the air*
Ted: Marsha!
Marsha: Moi...moi ees okeey. Theenk.
Marsha: Baht...'ee ees geeteen 'way!
Ted: Who, Timothy? He wouldn't harm Irma, darling. He's just...upset that we didn't inform him and the others of our little Roboot secret. He won't harm her.
Marsha: *crawling* He beetah nawt!
Ted: You better not, Timothy-
TJ: Oh don't you worry your pretty little brains. I won't physically harm the robot - she's a freaking robot.
Ted: Huh...
TJ: You think I would even attempt to hurt someone like that? You think I'd kick a hunk of metal? You think I want to break my foot?
Ted: Her exterior is human flesh...
TJ: You stay inside. I will locate her. This is all your freaking fault.
Marsha: *screaming* IRMA! CAHM BARKH!
Ted: Maybe hiding away from this place would be the best for her right now, dear.
Marsha: Baht...moi dahnt wahnt 'er 'urt.
TJ: I will find you one day, Irma Roboot, and justice will be served. *he shakes his head* Aw, shit. Sounding like a freaking superhero or somethin'. Bloody hell. This ain't a heroes and villains cop show. This is real life, and I am bloody done with this. Just want to bloody leave town already, man.
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Ted: Hey...Marsha, dear...everything will be okay, I swear...and I am not a swearer, but I do promise often, and I will never break my promises. Okay?
Marsha: *wiping her tears* A-kay. Moi beleaf ewe.
Ted: Someone we can trust will find Irma, and she will be okay. No matter what happens to her, we will be there to support her.
Marsha: But...wart eef sahmoone moi cahrn't trust fahnds 'er? The pahleese?
Ted: The police do not know to search for, at least not that I know of. If they do, they will care for her. They wouldn't hurt her-
Marsha: Eew dint know 'em.
Ted: I believe I can trust them.
Clyde: She's in that taxi! Stop! Wait for me! Irma!
TJ: You think she just hopped inside a taxi, dude.
Clyde: Yes! Wait...Tim, I thought you'd search a different part of town-
TJ: If you didn't know, idiot, there's not much outside that backdoor.
Just a freaking lake that I won't swim across.
TJ: She's not in that taxi, dude.
Clyde: How do you know, magical taxi police?
TJ: The...the taxi is empty, dude. It dropped off some drunk man across the street, which you would have seen had you not been so focused on whatever else.
Clyde: So...where did she go then, dude?
TJ: Look...oi, dude, you could first slow down. *Clyde pauses* Thanks. Now, listen here. We need to find a pyscho Roboot. Where do robots go?
Clyde: Uh...robot houses, robot farms, robot...JUNKYARDS!
TJ: Sure, any run of the mill robot would. But what about Irma?
Clyde: Uh...THAT MILITARY BASE!
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Ted: Marsha, perhaps...perhaps we should head home for some rest? It's been a tiring day for us all, and you seem awfully tired-
Marsha: Wahy...wahy would Marsha slip? Nah pahnt-
Ted: Marsha, what do you mean there is no point? Of course-
Marsha: 'ey wheel keel 'er, moi beets.
Marsha: They wheel slatter-slattgher-splat-whateever 'er, just ewe wahtch.
Ted: Who will 'slaughter' her, Marsha? Clyde and Timothy? They wouldn't-
Marsha: Non. Irma's...creetarghs. Creeteers. Creeahtures.
Ted: Creatures? Creators?
Marsha: Her creeatargs! 'ey wheel keel 'er.
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Clyde: Lord, I am tired now.
TJ: You can't give up now, daddy.
Clyde: I thought...I thought we agreed that you wouldn't be calling me that ever again, TJ?
TJ: If you want to call me TJ again, go ahead. You'll always be daddy to me then.
Clyde: Freaking hell.
TJ: What? Offended by my choice of nickname because it hurts your feelings? Don't worry, I won't tell your boyfriend...
Clyde: I'm going back to the cabin. Have fun finding her on your own.
TJ: Oh, okay. I won't have to argue with you any longer.
Clyde: Goodnight, Tim.
TJ: Goodnight, daddy. *he laughs* Look, I'll stop. Only started to get a rise from you, and I see now that's exacty what I did. Have a good sleep, dude.
Clyde: Find Irma and make sure she doesn't end up in the wrong hands.
TJ: Of course, bro.
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Irma: Hide in places no one would look...hide in places known for robots, but not known for Irma Roboot...hide in places with scrap for food and big rocks for shelter. Hide from creators and from friends. Hide from world.
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Clyde: We'll keep looking in the morning. All of us.
Ted: Do not worry, Marsha. We'll find her together and she'll be okay, I promised you that much.
Clyde: Yes...she will be okay, but we won't lie anymore.
Marsha: So...so she'll bee caghed agin? Lahkt lash tahm?
TJ: Not in our house, and not in a small little cage with nothing but a bed. This time we'll find a suitable...arrangement for her, you got that?
Clyde: You...no, we...should have kept searching tonight.
TJ: It's too late now. We have no torches. We're tired.
Marsha: Sahmtheen...cahld happeen-
Ted: Irma knows how to hide, Marsha, so she won't simply be wandering the streets, searching for trouble. Perhaps she found a secret hideaway point until morning...
Marsha: Peerhips...
TJ: Tomorrow, the three of you need to confess to the others. They will hopefully understand and they will help us. Got it?
Clyde: Got it.
Marsha: *muffling her sobs* Ooh-kay...
Ted: We should not have lied to Greta and Devra, and to Jocelyn and Bradley, who we did not ask to borrow this cabin. We should not have held her funeral.
Clyde: We wished to protect her, but they should have known-
TJ: I get why you wouldn't trust me, but...why not Jocelyn or Bradley?
Ted: We should have-
Jocelyn: *shocked* What...what are you all doing in here? What's happening; why should you have trusted us?
TJ: Well shit. The lovebirds have discovered the liars.
Jocelyn: L-liars?
Bradley: Can...can someone explain why exactly you four are in here? Tim? Please...
Jocelyn: This...this is our cabin, and you never asked us-
Bradley: I don't think that's the worst part about this.
Clyde: I...I think we all need to explain why we're here.
---
Bradley: Sorry for the wait, my wife was just fixing a few things in the dining room, and we're still waiting on Joe to arrive - say, I never caught your name.
Jupiter: Oh, my apologies. It's Triton - parents were very fond of creative and aquatic style names.
Bradley: I think...I think it's quite an interesting name.
Jupiter: Why thank you.
Bradley: Joce, baby? Everything in order?
Jocelyn: Of course. Yeah, everything is looking...well, beautiful, compared to yesterday, or the day before that...
Jupiter: What was the matter with the place yesterday? Or the day before that?
Jocelyn: Huh? Did you ask me a question?
Bradley: Our guest, Triton, was just curious as to why our dining room wasn't beautiful in the past. You see...we've had an overcrowding problem, and sadly, one of our friends was sleeping in the dining room-
Jupiter: In a cage?
Bradley: *he laughs uncomfortably* Oh no, don't be silly. This is all decorative, of course. We can't actually cage someone in-
Jupiter: Oh, well...if you don't mind, I think I'll sit down until Joe arrives.
Bradley: I'm sure he won't be too long, he said he had something to deal with-
Jupiter: Busy, busy, busy, my Joe is.
Bradley: Real quick, he said.
Jupiter: I am glad to have met him, you know. Started to think love was not possible for me, but here we are. *he smirks, laughing*
Bradley: Hey, what's up? Are you...you feeling okay, baby?
Jocelyn: *whispering* I don't trust him, Brad. I...I feel like I've seen him before, and not in some 'Ooh, he's a handsome celebrity' way, but-
Bradley: *whispering* He doesn't seem horrible-
Jocelyn: *whispering* And that's exactly how they seem...
Jupiter: You have quite the home, and you are quite the adorable couple. I do hope Joe and I are like this after marriage, with children of our own...
Jocelyn: Oh, you think you'll marry Joe?
Jupiter: I sure hope so.
Bradley: Well...that's splendid news, Triton. I wish you all the best.
Jocelyn: 'I wish you all the best'...Brad, he might have bad intentions-
Bradley: Don't assume anything until we know for certain, baby.
Jocelyn: I...I'm watching him, Brad. If he-
Bradley: If you wish to be careful, we will be.
*they kiss*
Jupiter: What have you planned to serve for dinner tonight, Jocelyn?
Jocelyn: Oh, well, I know Brad and I don't feel too hungry, and I wouldn't think Joe would be either, so we were considering simple finger foods-
Jupiter: And why is Joe not very hungry tonight?
Jocelyn: Lunch today was quite stuffing-
Jupiter: I think he can decide whether he is hungry for further dinner or not, thank you very much. Now, I think I heard someone open the sliding door-
Jocelyn: I wasn't suggesting he didn't have an opinion-
Joe: *joyfully* Hello? Is anyone home?
Jupiter: He's here. I'll be back, yeah?
Joe: Triton! You're...you're here already?
Jupiter: Yeah, baby. We weren't waiting much for you, though.
Joe: Sorry to keep you waiting. Just had some things for work to sort.
Jupiter: Bradley and Jocelyn have been very welcoming, do not worry about that.
Joe: I sure hope they don't have much planned for dinner-
Jupiter: Don't kid yourself, baby. You're always hungry-
Joe: For your...your delicious...I'm sorry, we're keeping them waiting.
Jupiter: Oh. Oh, okay. Better not upset our hosts.
Bradley: Are you feeling okay now, Joce?
Jocelyn: Yep. Perfectly fine. *she sighs* The show must go on.
Bradley: The show? This is dinner, sweetie.
Jocelyn: Oh, I wasn't talking about dinner. *she shakes her head* I should go ahead and prepare something for an appetiser.
Jupiter: Oh, Jocelyn. Hello again.
Jocelyn: Hello, Triton. Tell Joe he can sit anywhere he likes.
Jupiter: *nodding* Of course, of course, but I think he'd prefer to be seated beside his boyfriend.
Jocelyn: I wasn't implying he sit at the other end of the table.
Joe: I'll sit this side of the table with Triton, since he already seems to have claimed his seat.
Jocelyn: I'll be over with appetisers soon, but you three guys just chat amongst yourselves. Chat about sports, or whatever.
Joe: I'm afraid I know nothing of sports.
Jocelyn: Oh, me neither!
Bradley: So...fellas...either of you interested in childcare?
Joe: Oh, *he chuckles* I love children, but I think...I think Triton isn't so fussed, but if he loves me so, he says he'd be willing to adopt one or two.
Bradley: That's awfully respectable of him.
Jupiter: Why thank you, Brad, my man.
Jocelyn: *singing to herself* So what can I say, except 'you're welcome'? For the islands I pulled from the sea. There's no need to pray, it's okay, you're welcome. I guess it's just my way of being me. You're welcome....you're welcome!
Bradley: Say, have I seen you before?
Joe: Who, me? I'm the cameraman, well one of them. Remember, I always tried to hook up with TJ...oh, sorry, Tim...because I thought he was a silly closeted guy, but that was stupid. He...he did spoon me that one night at camp.
Bradley: Idiot...that was me, and I wasn't...I wasn't spooning you.
Joe: *shocked* Oh, really? I must've been dreaming about him...
Jupiter: Oh, you mean me? Have you seen me before...hmm? I bet I would remember having met someone with hair so...orange.
Bradley: Hey! I love my hair colour...but, I mean, I think I recognise your face.
Jupiter: Oh, I wouldn't think so, I've lived a...sheltered life.
Joe: But his face is so dreamy! Quite memorable, at least to me.
Jocelyn: *singing to herself* Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome, 'cause I'm gonna need that boat. I'm sailing away, away, you're welcome! 'Cause Jocelyn can do anything but float! You're welcome, you're welcome.
Bradley: How are the appetisers coming along, baby?
Jocelyn: Deep fried cheese here we come!
Bradley: Ooh, deep fried cheese! Me likey!
Jocelyn: Hey, baby, please never say that again.
Bradley: *pretending to cry* You...you don't...likey?
Jocelyn: Fine...me likey too.
Jupiter: As I was saying, my life was quite simple until my twenty-first birthday, and what a night that was. I wish...I wish I was with Joe back then, or else I wouldn't have...oh, nobody should hear my horror stories.
Joe: You refuse to even tell me, baby. Was it that bad?
Jupiter: Let's just say, I made a terrible mistake that night.
Bradley: We all make mistakes, we are human.
Jocelyn: Et voila! Deep fried mozzarella sticks!
Joe: Mmmm...looks delicious, Jocelyn. Thank you again for having us.
Jocelyn: It's our pleasure, Cameraman Joe.
Joe: Please just call me Joe. I'm not holding a camera at dinner, am I?
Bradley: So, I suppose I have you confused with someone else then. Some other famous brunette male with smouldering looks.
Jupiter: I suppose so.
Jocelyn: I can't wait to eat up these cheesy sticks of goodness! Mm.
Bradley: Who said dinner was meant to be a formal event with a proper meal?
Jocelyn: Hm, Triton? You haven't even asked for a platter?
Bradley: Oh, he must not be hungry for deep-fried cheese, Joce. I'm sure he would eat if he wished to.
Joe: *he coughs* He...he's not too fond of deep-fried food, really. Learned that on one of our dates together.
Jupiter: Suddenly I don't feel so hungry...
Jocelyn: You can't simply not eat tonight. Hey, how about I cook something not deep-fried for you? Yeah?
Jupiter: That should have been the plan from the beginning.
Jocelyn: Well, as I said earlier, three of us are still stuffed from lunch-
Jupiter: Why host a dinner party then?
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After moments of extended silence, Joe convinces Jupiter - sorry, I mean Triton - to eat a cheesy, deep-fried stick of goodness, as described by the lovely Jocelyn.
Jupiter: I suppose...I suppose these aren't terrible.
Joe: Oh, they're delicious, thank you Jocelyn.
Jocelyn: Don't thank me, thank the grocery store! *she laughs* All I did was fry them in oil, not much for me to celebrate.
Bradley: Jocelyn, where are you heading?
Jocelyn: I...I want to wash the dishes, Brad. Stupid kitchen doesn't have a freaking sink, lousy builders. (Lousy builder is me, who forgot kitchen sink.)
Bradley: Hey, calm down, everything will be okay, I promise.
Jocelyn: I don't like him, baby. He's just...not right.
Bradley: Hey...Triton and Joe haven't finished eating-
Jocelyn: *singing to herself* Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome, 'cause I'm gonna need that boat. I'm sailing away, away, you're welcome! 'Cause Jocelyn can do anything but float! You're welcome, you're welcome.
Bradley: Jocelyn...
Bradley: Joce!
Joe: God damn, these cheesy sticks are so good! Man, I'll need the recipe! Hehe, guess I'll have to stop by at the grocery store.
Bradley: You...you can probably have the spare box in our freezer...
Jupiter: And steal away your dinner party appetisers? We couldn't!
Jocelyn: *singing to herself, angrily* Well anyway, let me say you're welcome for the wonderful world you know. *she sighs* Stupid kitchen. Had to walk all the way to Greta and Tim's bathroom to wash two freaking plates. Two freaking plates. You're welcome.
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Later, after dinner has been enjoyed and settled in stomaches. Bradley and Jocelyn are seated in the newly moved living space, replacing the once lived-in cage that uglified the dining room.
Jocelyn: I never could believe we forced poor Irma to live here, in a cage.
Bradley: She was our own prisoner, but for good reason.
Jocelyn: Sure, she poisoned me, and I admit she should be punished for that, but not in our dining room, where we eat breakfast-
Joe: We carried those pieces of a cage or whatever into Greta and Tim's living room, if you think they'll need them sometime soon.
Jupiter: So it was a cage once...hm, who was your prisoner, Bradley? *he winks*
Bradley: Again, we didn't have a prisoner here!
Jupiter: Whatever you say.
Jupiter: Hey, baby, are you tired?
Joe: Little bit. *nodding off on his shoulder* Just a little nap, maybe.
Jupiter: Maybe we should head home soon-
Bradley: Nonsense! We haven't played Charades yet!
Jupiter: Charades...I don't think Joe is awake enough to play a game, Bradley, but thank you for the suggestion.
Jocelyn: *she pauses before speaking* Wait...before we play Charades, I just realised three of us are reality show veterans...
Joe: I...I'm...I'm only a cameraman, Jocelyn...
Jocelyn: Oh, I wasn't talking about you, Joe. No, there's...well, there's Bradley and I, and you too, Triton. Only-
Jupiter: I haven't been on no reality show, love-
Jocelyn: Certainly not under the name 'Triton'.
Jupiter: *annoyed* Are you suggesting I...I changed my name?
Bradley: Joce, baby, I don't think-
Jocelyn: Oh, I didn't think he had been in a reality show either, but the resemblence is...oh, it's uncanny, my love. You said you thought you-
Bradley: I thought I recognised him, but my memory isn't always spot on.
Joe: My...my baby...he would have told me if he had.
Jocelyn: Unless something terrible happened, or he was attempting to distance himself from the events of his reality show. Now, tell me, which reality show was it again? Did you last far in the competition or were you voted out for your attitude?
Jupiter: I was never voted out of no reality show, nor did-
Jocelyn: So you didn't get voted out, but you wouldn't have won, surely.
Joe: Triton...you weren't in a reality show...no, you told me you lived a sheltered life. No fame or cameras...Triton?
Jupiter: Joe, baby, I never lied to you-
Jocelyn: Concealing the truth is a form of lying, however. Why wouldn't you want to tell everyone about your reality show life?
Bradley: Oh lord I'm attracted to you so much right now.
Jupiter: I don't want to lie to Joe, ever. Maybe I haven't told him everything, but he knows the most important things in my life. He is one of those things.
Jocelyn: Your name is not Triton, is it?
Jupiter: So I lied about my first name. Can you blame me?
Jocelyn: I don't know, I don't really know you.
Jupiter: Fine. I am a reality show veteran, I suppose. The show was cancelled, however, and that is why those silly contestants never had the chance to vote me off of Simvivor. Why I lie, you ask? My...my reaction to our cancellation wasn't exactly my most cheerful moment, and I regret ever signing up.
Jocelyn: I knew I recognised you, Jupiter Hill.
Bradley: Jupiter...Jupiter Hill? Why is that name so familiar?
Jocelyn: Baby, he was the gay jeweller from Simvivor. Remember, we watched the first few episodes together before it was canned?
Jupiter: My sexuality does not define me, Jocelyn.
Bradley: Oh yeah! This guy! He annoyed me...
Jocelyn: You are a liar, sir!
Jupiter: So I wasn't honest about a reality show I appeared in a while back for a short period of time before it was cancelled. So I lied about my name. So what?
Jocelyn: You aren't a very good man, Jupiter Hill. You are a disgrace, and I have good word to believe you framed your brother for the murder of your parents!
Jupiter: He...he murdered my parents! He did that! Mercury murdered my parents in cold blood because he was hurt that I, the eldest son, was the heir to their estate!
Joe: You're...you're an heir to an estate...you liar.
Jocelyn: That's not what's important. This...dude...is a murderer.
Joe: No...he wouldn't lie about murder-
Jupiter: How would you react, Jocelyn, if you learned you were speaking the truth?
Jocelyn: After your little stunt of anger and jealousy, a team of investigators searched for information to corroborate your...outburst. One, a woman named Frieda, discovered your brother's arrest.
Jupiter: My brilliant idea to become a reality star...
Jupiter: Don't you see that I couldn't tell all of this to someone who was genuinely interested in me, and having paid of so many people to never speak my name again, he would never discover the truth-
Jocelyn: Too bad your hostess loves her gossip.
Jupiter: You don't understand what this will cost me!
Jocelyn: You shouldn't have murdered your parents.
Joe: No, no....no, you didn't murder your parents, did you?
Jupiter: Nancy Drew solved the case. Jupiter Hill, gay jeweller, wannabe reality star, isn't some sheltered little brat from Appaloosa Plains.
Joe: Did you...did you murder your parents...liar?
Jupiter: Not a bone in your body would believe I didn't.
Jocelyn: I invited a murderer into my home, with my precious child asleep...somewhere in this palace of a home...and I have dinner with him, to be polite...why did you come to my home, you sick murderer?
Jupiter: Can't you see that I love Cameraman Joe?!?
Jocelyn: But he could never love a criminal...
Jupiter: You don't control what Joe thinks of me, okay? Okay?
Bradley: Perhaps...perhaps we have a drink to calm ourselves down, shall we?
Jocelyn: You want to have a drink with a liar and a murderer?
Jupiter: I don't want to sit down and calm down!
Bradley: Hm...Jocelyn prepared some orange drink this afternoon, and I would think we could share the peaceful tranquility of that drink now-
Jocelyn: *whispering to Brad* Baby, I appreciate this relaxed attitude, but...but he needs to explain himself or leave this house.
Bradley: *whispering* I know, he's a liar and a murderer...
Jocelyn: I didn't like you from the moment we met, Jupiter, and I know now that deep down, I remembered you crystal clear. I suppose...I suppose I was delusional to hope Cameraman Joe had met someone not...a psycho criminal murderer.
Joe: Please, just call me Joe-
Jocelyn: You've been sleeping with a criminal, Joe.
Joe: He...he really knew how to...to pleasure me.
Bradley: Ew. Disgusting. Please no more.
Jupiter: What Joe and I had was all real. I didn't lie about my feelings for him, and apart from hiding my past, my future with him would not be hidden-
Joe: I...I trusted you. *he lowers his head* Did...did something...terrible even happen on your...twenty-first birthday?
Jupiter: I...I killed my parents...and I regret it every day.
Jocelyn: I hope you know that this is broadcasted on television, so not only are you the big reality star you hoped for, but the world now knows of your crime. Your brother will not be blamed any longer for their death.
Jupiter: There...there is no evidence of my crime.
Jocelyn: A recorded confession will do.
Bradley: Joce, come, let's calm down in the kitchen.
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Jocelyn: I...I can't believe we agreed for this to happen here, in our home. Brad, he's...he's a lying, murdering...liar.
Bradley: He's not our concern, my sweet, he's the concern of the police.
Jocelyn: I just hope...hope Jamie is safe with Greta and Devra tonight.
Bradley: He will be, and we can kick this...liar...out and head upstairs.
Jocelyn: I don't want to stay in this house tonight.
Bradley: Then we...we head to the cabin, by the lake, and we spend a night together alone, without a crying baby, without distractions. Only us.
Jocelyn: I would like that very much.
Bradley: Then it's decided. The ladies will care for our son.
Joe: Why...why did you buy me a drink that night...and why did you...introduce yourself as...as Triton?
Jupiter: I...I've changed my name to Triton, to...to distance myself from my past. *he sighs* I know what I did was horrid, and I hope to be a good person-
Joe: But...but why did you buy me a drink? Why me?
Jupiter: I...I found you attractive. I believe in love, baby.
Joe: Why do...why do I continue to be attracted to the guys who will only break my heart over and over again?
Jupiter: Maybe...maybe the right guy just isn't staring at you.
Joe: *he turns his head* I...I don't think I could ever be with you, not after tonight.
Jupiter: I didn't mean me, you idiot.
Jocelyn: Tonight was a disaster. Never again. Please?
Bradley: We're not going to stop hosting dinner parties, Jocelyn-
Jocelyn: I know. Just...no more with people we don't know.
Bradley: You seemed to know him quite well.
*they laugh*
Jocelyn: Hello, Triton. Tell Joe he can sit anywhere he likes.
Jupiter: *nodding* Of course, of course, but I think he'd prefer to be seated beside his boyfriend.
Jocelyn: I wasn't implying he sit at the other end of the table.
Joe: I'll sit this side of the table with Triton, since he already seems to have claimed his seat.
Jocelyn: I'll be over with appetisers soon, but you three guys just chat amongst yourselves. Chat about sports, or whatever.
Joe: I'm afraid I know nothing of sports.
Jocelyn: Oh, me neither!
Bradley: So...fellas...either of you interested in childcare?
Joe: Oh, *he chuckles* I love children, but I think...I think Triton isn't so fussed, but if he loves me so, he says he'd be willing to adopt one or two.
Bradley: That's awfully respectable of him.
Jupiter: Why thank you, Brad, my man.
Jocelyn: *singing to herself* So what can I say, except 'you're welcome'? For the islands I pulled from the sea. There's no need to pray, it's okay, you're welcome. I guess it's just my way of being me. You're welcome....you're welcome!
Bradley: Say, have I seen you before?
Joe: Who, me? I'm the cameraman, well one of them. Remember, I always tried to hook up with TJ...oh, sorry, Tim...because I thought he was a silly closeted guy, but that was stupid. He...he did spoon me that one night at camp.
Bradley: Idiot...that was me, and I wasn't...I wasn't spooning you.
Joe: *shocked* Oh, really? I must've been dreaming about him...
Jupiter: Oh, you mean me? Have you seen me before...hmm? I bet I would remember having met someone with hair so...orange.
Bradley: Hey! I love my hair colour...but, I mean, I think I recognise your face.
Jupiter: Oh, I wouldn't think so, I've lived a...sheltered life.
Joe: But his face is so dreamy! Quite memorable, at least to me.
Jocelyn: *singing to herself* Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome, 'cause I'm gonna need that boat. I'm sailing away, away, you're welcome! 'Cause Jocelyn can do anything but float! You're welcome, you're welcome.
Bradley: How are the appetisers coming along, baby?
Jocelyn: Deep fried cheese here we come!
Bradley: Ooh, deep fried cheese! Me likey!
Jocelyn: Hey, baby, please never say that again.
Bradley: *pretending to cry* You...you don't...likey?
Jocelyn: Fine...me likey too.
Jupiter: As I was saying, my life was quite simple until my twenty-first birthday, and what a night that was. I wish...I wish I was with Joe back then, or else I wouldn't have...oh, nobody should hear my horror stories.
Joe: You refuse to even tell me, baby. Was it that bad?
Jupiter: Let's just say, I made a terrible mistake that night.
Bradley: We all make mistakes, we are human.
Jocelyn: Et voila! Deep fried mozzarella sticks!
Joe: Mmmm...looks delicious, Jocelyn. Thank you again for having us.
Jocelyn: It's our pleasure, Cameraman Joe.
Joe: Please just call me Joe. I'm not holding a camera at dinner, am I?
Bradley: So, I suppose I have you confused with someone else then. Some other famous brunette male with smouldering looks.
Jupiter: I suppose so.
Jocelyn: I can't wait to eat up these cheesy sticks of goodness! Mm.
Bradley: Who said dinner was meant to be a formal event with a proper meal?
Jocelyn: Hm, Triton? You haven't even asked for a platter?
Bradley: Oh, he must not be hungry for deep-fried cheese, Joce. I'm sure he would eat if he wished to.
Joe: *he coughs* He...he's not too fond of deep-fried food, really. Learned that on one of our dates together.
Jupiter: Suddenly I don't feel so hungry...
Jocelyn: You can't simply not eat tonight. Hey, how about I cook something not deep-fried for you? Yeah?
Jupiter: That should have been the plan from the beginning.
Jocelyn: Well, as I said earlier, three of us are still stuffed from lunch-
Jupiter: Why host a dinner party then?
.
.
After moments of extended silence, Joe convinces Jupiter - sorry, I mean Triton - to eat a cheesy, deep-fried stick of goodness, as described by the lovely Jocelyn.
Jupiter: I suppose...I suppose these aren't terrible.
Joe: Oh, they're delicious, thank you Jocelyn.
Jocelyn: Don't thank me, thank the grocery store! *she laughs* All I did was fry them in oil, not much for me to celebrate.
Bradley: Jocelyn, where are you heading?
Jocelyn: I...I want to wash the dishes, Brad. Stupid kitchen doesn't have a freaking sink, lousy builders. (Lousy builder is me, who forgot kitchen sink.)
Bradley: Hey, calm down, everything will be okay, I promise.
Jocelyn: I don't like him, baby. He's just...not right.
Bradley: Hey...Triton and Joe haven't finished eating-
Jocelyn: *singing to herself* Hey, it's your day to say you're welcome, 'cause I'm gonna need that boat. I'm sailing away, away, you're welcome! 'Cause Jocelyn can do anything but float! You're welcome, you're welcome.
Bradley: Jocelyn...
Bradley: Joce!
Joe: God damn, these cheesy sticks are so good! Man, I'll need the recipe! Hehe, guess I'll have to stop by at the grocery store.
Bradley: You...you can probably have the spare box in our freezer...
Jupiter: And steal away your dinner party appetisers? We couldn't!
Jocelyn: *singing to herself, angrily* Well anyway, let me say you're welcome for the wonderful world you know. *she sighs* Stupid kitchen. Had to walk all the way to Greta and Tim's bathroom to wash two freaking plates. Two freaking plates. You're welcome.
.
.
Later, after dinner has been enjoyed and settled in stomaches. Bradley and Jocelyn are seated in the newly moved living space, replacing the once lived-in cage that uglified the dining room.
Jocelyn: I never could believe we forced poor Irma to live here, in a cage.
Bradley: She was our own prisoner, but for good reason.
Jocelyn: Sure, she poisoned me, and I admit she should be punished for that, but not in our dining room, where we eat breakfast-
Joe: We carried those pieces of a cage or whatever into Greta and Tim's living room, if you think they'll need them sometime soon.
Jupiter: So it was a cage once...hm, who was your prisoner, Bradley? *he winks*
Bradley: Again, we didn't have a prisoner here!
Jupiter: Whatever you say.
Jupiter: Hey, baby, are you tired?
Joe: Little bit. *nodding off on his shoulder* Just a little nap, maybe.
Jupiter: Maybe we should head home soon-
Bradley: Nonsense! We haven't played Charades yet!
Jupiter: Charades...I don't think Joe is awake enough to play a game, Bradley, but thank you for the suggestion.
Jocelyn: *she pauses before speaking* Wait...before we play Charades, I just realised three of us are reality show veterans...
Joe: I...I'm...I'm only a cameraman, Jocelyn...
Jocelyn: Oh, I wasn't talking about you, Joe. No, there's...well, there's Bradley and I, and you too, Triton. Only-
Jupiter: I haven't been on no reality show, love-
Jocelyn: Certainly not under the name 'Triton'.
Jupiter: *annoyed* Are you suggesting I...I changed my name?
Bradley: Joce, baby, I don't think-
Jocelyn: Oh, I didn't think he had been in a reality show either, but the resemblence is...oh, it's uncanny, my love. You said you thought you-
Bradley: I thought I recognised him, but my memory isn't always spot on.
Joe: My...my baby...he would have told me if he had.
Jocelyn: Unless something terrible happened, or he was attempting to distance himself from the events of his reality show. Now, tell me, which reality show was it again? Did you last far in the competition or were you voted out for your attitude?
Jupiter: I was never voted out of no reality show, nor did-
Jocelyn: So you didn't get voted out, but you wouldn't have won, surely.
Joe: Triton...you weren't in a reality show...no, you told me you lived a sheltered life. No fame or cameras...Triton?
Jupiter: Joe, baby, I never lied to you-
Jocelyn: Concealing the truth is a form of lying, however. Why wouldn't you want to tell everyone about your reality show life?
Bradley: Oh lord I'm attracted to you so much right now.
Jupiter: I don't want to lie to Joe, ever. Maybe I haven't told him everything, but he knows the most important things in my life. He is one of those things.
Jocelyn: Your name is not Triton, is it?
Jupiter: So I lied about my first name. Can you blame me?
Jocelyn: I don't know, I don't really know you.
Jupiter: Fine. I am a reality show veteran, I suppose. The show was cancelled, however, and that is why those silly contestants never had the chance to vote me off of Simvivor. Why I lie, you ask? My...my reaction to our cancellation wasn't exactly my most cheerful moment, and I regret ever signing up.
Jocelyn: I knew I recognised you, Jupiter Hill.
Bradley: Jupiter...Jupiter Hill? Why is that name so familiar?
Jocelyn: Baby, he was the gay jeweller from Simvivor. Remember, we watched the first few episodes together before it was canned?
Jupiter: My sexuality does not define me, Jocelyn.
Bradley: Oh yeah! This guy! He annoyed me...
Jocelyn: You are a liar, sir!
Jupiter: So I wasn't honest about a reality show I appeared in a while back for a short period of time before it was cancelled. So I lied about my name. So what?
Jocelyn: You aren't a very good man, Jupiter Hill. You are a disgrace, and I have good word to believe you framed your brother for the murder of your parents!
Jupiter: He...he murdered my parents! He did that! Mercury murdered my parents in cold blood because he was hurt that I, the eldest son, was the heir to their estate!
Joe: You're...you're an heir to an estate...you liar.
Jocelyn: That's not what's important. This...dude...is a murderer.
Joe: No...he wouldn't lie about murder-
Jupiter: How would you react, Jocelyn, if you learned you were speaking the truth?
Jocelyn: After your little stunt of anger and jealousy, a team of investigators searched for information to corroborate your...outburst. One, a woman named Frieda, discovered your brother's arrest.
Jupiter: My brilliant idea to become a reality star...
Jupiter: Don't you see that I couldn't tell all of this to someone who was genuinely interested in me, and having paid of so many people to never speak my name again, he would never discover the truth-
Jocelyn: Too bad your hostess loves her gossip.
Jupiter: You don't understand what this will cost me!
Jocelyn: You shouldn't have murdered your parents.
Joe: No, no....no, you didn't murder your parents, did you?
Jupiter: Nancy Drew solved the case. Jupiter Hill, gay jeweller, wannabe reality star, isn't some sheltered little brat from Appaloosa Plains.
Joe: Did you...did you murder your parents...liar?
Jupiter: Not a bone in your body would believe I didn't.
Jocelyn: I invited a murderer into my home, with my precious child asleep...somewhere in this palace of a home...and I have dinner with him, to be polite...why did you come to my home, you sick murderer?
Jupiter: Can't you see that I love Cameraman Joe?!?
Jocelyn: But he could never love a criminal...
Jupiter: You don't control what Joe thinks of me, okay? Okay?
Bradley: Perhaps...perhaps we have a drink to calm ourselves down, shall we?
Jocelyn: You want to have a drink with a liar and a murderer?
Jupiter: I don't want to sit down and calm down!
Bradley: Hm...Jocelyn prepared some orange drink this afternoon, and I would think we could share the peaceful tranquility of that drink now-
Jocelyn: *whispering to Brad* Baby, I appreciate this relaxed attitude, but...but he needs to explain himself or leave this house.
Bradley: *whispering* I know, he's a liar and a murderer...
Jocelyn: I didn't like you from the moment we met, Jupiter, and I know now that deep down, I remembered you crystal clear. I suppose...I suppose I was delusional to hope Cameraman Joe had met someone not...a psycho criminal murderer.
Joe: Please, just call me Joe-
Jocelyn: You've been sleeping with a criminal, Joe.
Joe: He...he really knew how to...to pleasure me.
Bradley: Ew. Disgusting. Please no more.
Jupiter: What Joe and I had was all real. I didn't lie about my feelings for him, and apart from hiding my past, my future with him would not be hidden-
Joe: I...I trusted you. *he lowers his head* Did...did something...terrible even happen on your...twenty-first birthday?
Jupiter: I...I killed my parents...and I regret it every day.
Jocelyn: I hope you know that this is broadcasted on television, so not only are you the big reality star you hoped for, but the world now knows of your crime. Your brother will not be blamed any longer for their death.
Jupiter: There...there is no evidence of my crime.
Jocelyn: A recorded confession will do.
Bradley: Joce, come, let's calm down in the kitchen.
.
.
Jocelyn: I...I can't believe we agreed for this to happen here, in our home. Brad, he's...he's a lying, murdering...liar.
Bradley: He's not our concern, my sweet, he's the concern of the police.
Jocelyn: I just hope...hope Jamie is safe with Greta and Devra tonight.
Bradley: He will be, and we can kick this...liar...out and head upstairs.
Jocelyn: I don't want to stay in this house tonight.
Bradley: Then we...we head to the cabin, by the lake, and we spend a night together alone, without a crying baby, without distractions. Only us.
Jocelyn: I would like that very much.
Bradley: Then it's decided. The ladies will care for our son.
Joe: Why...why did you buy me a drink that night...and why did you...introduce yourself as...as Triton?
Jupiter: I...I've changed my name to Triton, to...to distance myself from my past. *he sighs* I know what I did was horrid, and I hope to be a good person-
Joe: But...but why did you buy me a drink? Why me?
Jupiter: I...I found you attractive. I believe in love, baby.
Joe: Why do...why do I continue to be attracted to the guys who will only break my heart over and over again?
Jupiter: Maybe...maybe the right guy just isn't staring at you.
Joe: *he turns his head* I...I don't think I could ever be with you, not after tonight.
Jupiter: I didn't mean me, you idiot.
Jocelyn: Tonight was a disaster. Never again. Please?
Bradley: We're not going to stop hosting dinner parties, Jocelyn-
Jocelyn: I know. Just...no more with people we don't know.
Bradley: You seemed to know him quite well.
*they laugh*
---
Bradley: So that's our story to tell, and it shouldn't have been the first one told. Why should it matter why the HOMEOWNERS are in their cabin?
Jocelyn: Honey, we don't own this cabin-
Bradley: What are you talking about? I-
Jocelyn: You haven't paid off the mortgage, baby. We don't technically own it.
Bradley: Well...whatever. We have a clear reason to be here, and you four do not. Are you alcoholics? Are you in the mafia? Tell us-
Jocelyn: Hey, calm down...
Ted: Yes, please do calm down, Bradley.
Clyde: This can all be explained, we promise.
TJ: We aren't alcoholics, and we aren't in the...mafia. Can't four best pals hang out in a wooden cabin by the lake late at night to pass time?
Jocelyn: Without permission...not quite.
Bradley: What...what is Marsha up to?
TJ: Don't bother her, she's been crying for most of the night-
Bradley: Crying?! What? Why?
Marsha: *whispering* Moi eesn't sharr wheet tah say. Moi canned sahy.
Sahry, moi leeps seal.
Ted: I do believe Marsha is tired tonight, so perhaps I head home with her now and let her rest before tomorrow. Big day-
Jocelyn: I'm really having a tough night...
Jocelyn: Men don't understand what it feels like to be a mother, especially not one with a very small infant. The sleep I have is abysmal. Then I'm forced to sit down for dinner with my husband, a freaking murderer, and a cameraman with very low expectations. Now, hoping for a refreshing retreat from the outside world, I come here with my loving husband and the baby somehow safely nestled in Greta's arms - who, mind you, is not my closest friend - and guess what? Four idiots are cramping my style and refusing to tell me the truth.
Clyde: *under his breath* Good lord, woman-
Jocelyn: Oh, you want me to continue on this path of anger and misery? Huh, Clyde Stoners? How does it feel to have abandoned your daughter for some silly reality show?
Ted: Jocelyn, please-
Clyde: No, let her carry on like this. Let her release all this tension from her body.
Jocelyn: Would you like to breast-feed my child for me, Ted? Clyde? Would you like to feel a small human gnawing at your body so keep itself alive?
Bradley: Maybe...maybe we should keep to the subject at hand, baby.
Jocelyn: *she sighs* I'm sorry...I shouldn't have been so aggressive.
Bradley: Hey, don't apologize to me-
TJ: Well, I for one will not be revealing why we're all here and not in the comforts of our lavish custom-built palace. Marsha? Care to explain?
Ted: Do not force Marsha to answer anything. She's quite...fragile at the moment.
TJ: Well, why don't you bloody explain then, sir?
Ted: Oh I do not like the language coming out of your mouth, sir!
Clyde: *he begins to bawl his eyes out* Why! It's...it's that cameraman...not Joe, but...oh, the thought is too painful!
TJ: *mumbling* What the hell is this idiot talking about?
Clyde: It's....it's Maverick! He's dead! I wish we didn't have to tell you!
TJ: Who the bloody hell is Maverick?
Ted: Timothy! Language please! *he exhales, frowning* I believe he is confusing the cameraman for a friend of his. The...the cameraman that died, his name was instead...his name was Lawrence.
Clyde: Oh...oh it was indeed Lawrence.
Ted: We were witness to his tragic death, and we didn't know how to tell you-
Jocelyn: So, a, uh...a cameraman died, and you came here to...to mourn the loss, correct? To prepare a...prepare a statement to tell us of...of his passing?
TJ: If that's what the others are rolling with.
Jocelyn: So, this the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Marsha: *softly* Yesh...moi dahs naht lee.
Jocelyn: So, you're telling me a cameraman died tonight, and the four of you witnessed his death and didn't call for assistance whatsoever, I assume. And...and you came here, to a cabin by the lake, which coincidentally is owned by your friends, without, of course, asking for their permission to convene here.
Bradley: That seems like the gist of it, yes.
Jocelyn: No...this doesn't seem to be true. Marsha...be please seated on the sofa. You too, Tim.
Marsha: Moi ees nah seeteed, ma'am.
Clyde: Marsha...are you okay?
Marsha: Ah em fahn, moi ees fahn. Nah need tah worregh 'bout moi.
Ted: Would you like your glasses returned, my dear? They are-
Clyde: Marsha...are you okay?
Marsha: Ah em fahn, moi ees fahn. Nah need tah worregh 'bout moi.
Ted: Would you like your glasses returned, my dear? They are-
Jocelyn: Shh. Nobody speaks until they are willing to tell the complete and utter truth. *the room is silent; she smirks* Good, silence. Now, who would like to begin?
Clyde: Cameraman Lawrence is de-
Bradley: My wife and I don't believe that story to be true, Mr Stoners.
Jocelyn: Hmm...Tim, you seem to be most willing to confess. Please do.
TJ: I have nothing to say-
Bradley: Hey, bro, you can trust us. Hey, we're here as friends, just hoping for some clarity as to why the four of you won't tell us why you're hiding out in the cabin.
TJ: *he clears his throat* Irma is alive, Brad. She had been staying here. Tonight was the night I discovered the truth, and now she is missing.
Jocelyn: Oh my god.
Bradley: She's...she's alive? Like...some resurrection shit? Like, a regenerating robot?
TJ: Apparently...apparently she never died in the first place. Lied and faked.
Jocelyn: Now I'm speechless.
Bradley: She's...she's alive? Like...some resurrection shit? Like, a regenerating robot?
TJ: Apparently...apparently she never died in the first place. Lied and faked.
Jocelyn: Now I'm speechless.
.
.
Devra: You...you do realise that this child you're holding literally popped out from within Jocelyn, who, last time I checked, was your sworn enemy?
Greta: He's wrapped in a blanket, Devra-
Devra: He's the child of your enemy, Greta-
Greta: He hasn't attempted to destroy me...yet.
Devra: You wouldn't last a day as princess.
Greta: Because I care for the children of my 'sworn enemy'? That's a messy rule to uphold.
Devra: No...never mind, make sure the baby doesn't die on us.
Greta: That is why I'm holding him.
Devra: When did you think those two will be back here? Also...like everyone else, because this place is dead.
Greta: We're giving the lovebirds their space, after...dinner. Everyone else is just plain missing. Even Tim.
Devra: Not like your boyfriend to hide.
Greta: He's not...he's not hiding.
Devra: Whatever you say, host.
Greta: *she pauses, tickling the baby* Hey...hey, Devra, can I ask you something serious?
Devra: Of course, Greta. Your wish is my command, Aladdin.
Greta: *she laughs* Are you the Genie now? Hehe.
Greta: Sorry, I'll stay on topic. *she pauses, sighing* Tomorrow morning, Tim...Tim and I are planning to leave here. We're not sure where, and we aren't sure when we'll be coming back here, if ever-
Devra: What would you like to ask me, Greta?
Greta: Right. *she exhales* Sorry. Uh, well, I wanted to ask...I wanted to ask if you'd help us...escape...without the others knowing. Just slip away.
Devra: Just...just slip away...
Greta: Yeah. *she sighs* Tim and I...we aren't people who cope with saying goodbye, and we'd prefer not to see everyone all teary-eyed at our farewell. It's not like everyone really cherished us anyway-
Devra: Oh shut up! *quietening down* Sorry, baby Jamie.
Greta: So...what do you think?
Devra: I think...I think if this is what the both of you wish, then there is no chance for me to change your mind. The others-
Greta: They will be hurt, I suppose, but being welled up in this house was never for the two of us.
Devra: Have you...have you packed yet?
Greta: I never really unpacked since I returned.
Devra: On behalf of Jocelyn, I am sorry for that whole...thing. *she sighs* She's sometimes a handful, Jocelyn, but she's still a good person.
Greta: I...I know that, and she's not the reason we're leaving.
Devra: I just don't know what I'll tell the others.
Greta: Tell them the truth. Tim and Greta have left the building.
Devra: I don't know if they could just...accept that, you know?
Greta: We couldn't face them tomorrow morning, even though we know we should. It'll be...it'll be easier to slip out in the darkness, leaving footsteps behind in the dirt.
Devra: You know we will miss you both.
Greta: Of course. It couldn't be the same without us.
.
.
Jocelyn: So...uh...our robot friend is out there, somewhere, just wandering the streets to escape...to escape from Tim, correct?
Ted: I am sure Timothy did not mean what he said-
Clyde: *whispering* Oh he certainly meant it. He doesn't like to make false promises, that one-
Marsha: Dah neet sah thit! *she sniffles* 'ee wahdeent.
Bradley: I can't believe they would lie to us like this. Hide her away in our cabin without our permission. Hide her away-
TJ: Hey, bro, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Bradley: Yeah. Of course.
TJ: Thanks, man. I hate to keep this secretive, but...
Bradley: As long as you aren't confessing to some crime, bro, I don't care if you only speak to me or if you open up to all of us. You didn't-
TJ: Nah, man, of course not.
Bradley: And you aren't...you know, suddenly...changed?
TJ: Nah, man, couldn't possibly be. We'll talk outside.
Jocelyn: I...I am sorry for screaming and carrying on like that before. I...I don't like secrets, never have been a fan, and I'm-
Ted: Oh, do not apologize, Jocelyn. We understand.
Jocelyn: I...I can't believe I'm saying this after what she did to me, but I'll help you all find her and protect her.
Marsha: Theenk ya, Josheelan.
TJ: Thank you for everything, bro, but...well, this is where we have to say 'see-ya' for a while, who knows how long-
Bradley: What do you mean, Tim? You're not-
TJ: Greta and I are leaving, I suppose today if the clock inside is correct. We don't know when we'll be back, but hopefully soon.
Bradley: You'll always be my best mate, Tim.
TJ: Thanks, bro. Never been...never been great at saying goodbye, but this is it. I'll see ya sometime soon, Brad.
Bradley: What...what will I say to the others?
TJ: Let them wonder where the hell we've gone. *they laugh* We'll write some note, I promise. Or, Greta will, no doubt.
Bradley: No problems, man.
Bradley: We'll miss the pair of you, know that. The house will be...less troublesome without you two, I swear.
TJ: Ah, thanks dude. Greta'll send you postcards or something. Unless we stay hidden for a while, just the two of us-
Bradley: I'll see you again soon, man.
TJ: See ya, Bradley.
.
.
Greta: We couldn't face them tomorrow morning, even though we know we should. It'll be...it'll be easier to slip out in the darkness, leaving footsteps behind in the dirt.
Devra: You know we will miss you both.
Greta: Of course. It couldn't be the same without us.
.
.
Jocelyn: So...uh...our robot friend is out there, somewhere, just wandering the streets to escape...to escape from Tim, correct?
Ted: I am sure Timothy did not mean what he said-
Clyde: *whispering* Oh he certainly meant it. He doesn't like to make false promises, that one-
Marsha: Dah neet sah thit! *she sniffles* 'ee wahdeent.
Bradley: I can't believe they would lie to us like this. Hide her away in our cabin without our permission. Hide her away-
TJ: Hey, bro, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Bradley: Yeah. Of course.
TJ: Thanks, man. I hate to keep this secretive, but...
Bradley: As long as you aren't confessing to some crime, bro, I don't care if you only speak to me or if you open up to all of us. You didn't-
TJ: Nah, man, of course not.
Bradley: And you aren't...you know, suddenly...changed?
TJ: Nah, man, couldn't possibly be. We'll talk outside.
Jocelyn: I...I am sorry for screaming and carrying on like that before. I...I don't like secrets, never have been a fan, and I'm-
Ted: Oh, do not apologize, Jocelyn. We understand.
Jocelyn: I...I can't believe I'm saying this after what she did to me, but I'll help you all find her and protect her.
Marsha: Theenk ya, Josheelan.
TJ: Thank you for everything, bro, but...well, this is where we have to say 'see-ya' for a while, who knows how long-
Bradley: What do you mean, Tim? You're not-
TJ: Greta and I are leaving, I suppose today if the clock inside is correct. We don't know when we'll be back, but hopefully soon.
Bradley: You'll always be my best mate, Tim.
TJ: Thanks, bro. Never been...never been great at saying goodbye, but this is it. I'll see ya sometime soon, Brad.
Bradley: What...what will I say to the others?
TJ: Let them wonder where the hell we've gone. *they laugh* We'll write some note, I promise. Or, Greta will, no doubt.
Bradley: No problems, man.
Bradley: We'll miss the pair of you, know that. The house will be...less troublesome without you two, I swear.
TJ: Ah, thanks dude. Greta'll send you postcards or something. Unless we stay hidden for a while, just the two of us-
Bradley: I'll see you again soon, man.
TJ: See ya, Bradley.
.
.
Irma: Someone is near. Someone is approaching.
Hello? Don't you know robots do not bite...
Irma: One step. Two. Three steps. Four.
A staircase contains one single path but many different objectives.
*she laughs, softly* Up, up, up.
Irma: Light the fire that feasts on you. Light a fire to feast on you.
Burn the flame and let the orange flame control you.
Let the orange flame devour you.
???: Irma. Irma Roboot. You seem to be...well, you seem to be acting strange, very unusual for your construction. Irma?
Irma: Construction is best from the foundation to the rooftop, built upon and upon. *she smirks* Who are you?
???: You would not remember me, and that is fine.
???: I am a friend, Irma. I am to be trusted.
Irma: My...my friend, if you are to be trusted? If you are my friend, then you must know my identification code. Do you?
???: Irma. I am...I am here on behalf of your creators.
We have finally found you once again.
---
Greta: Where the hell is he? The freaking sun has risen, with no sign of Tim, and, I suppose, no sign of any other human other than Devra - are they all camped out somewhere, or...nope, not dead. I cannot be responsible for more chaos-
TJ: More chaos? Where?
Greta: Timmy!
TJ: Hey, please stop. Like right now. I ain't running off with you if you keep calling me that.
Greta: Okay, I'm sorry...*she smirks* Where have you been, my love?
TJ: Ah! You're smothering me, woman!
Greta: *kissing him passionately*
TJ: Hey, I'm okay, I didn't die, and I'm certainly not hurt, so lay back on the smothering me with kisses, baby.
Greta: Can't I be romantic?
TJ: Of course...of course you can be romantic.
Greta: We're off schedule, but at least nobody's home...come on, babe, we need to get dressed and head off, before someone actually comes home-
TJ: I wouldn't be surprised if this was an easy escape, Greta-
Greta: And I wouldn't be surprised if Marsha burst in here singing.
Let's go.
TJ: Devra, the others will be home soon enough to change clothes before searching for...oh, shit, Irma's alive, by the way. She's somewhere in town, they need to find her to protect her or whatever-
Devra: Uh...what did you just say? That robot is...alive? And they wish to help her?
TJ: I do believe those filthy words escaped my mouth.
Greta: We don't have much time then, I suppose. Could've told me earlier that a previously deceased contestant is alive, but guess we were too in love...
TJ: Hey, I'm sorry...I didn't want anything to come between us before we disappeared from this place.
Devra: I'll keep a look-out for the others, you go ahead and change clothes.
Greta: Thank you, Devra. Thank you for all of this support.
Devra: You are very welcome, my host. With differences in the past now behind us, I am certainly glad to call you a friend, Greta.
Greta: And I you, Princess Devra of the Eden Kingdom.
Now, babe, it's time we made like the Wicked Witch and fled via broomstick.
TJ: Whatever you say, nerd.
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TJ: Okay, I think I'm ready, let me just check the drawers.
Greta: We have plenty of time, apparently.
TJ: It's only been half an hour, babe. The others back at the cabin were resting before coming home to change, I think...think that was Ted's plan.
Greta: Thank god for perfect coincidence.
Irma: My...my friend, if you are to be trusted? If you are my friend, then you must know my identification code. Do you?
???: Irma. I am...I am here on behalf of your creators.
We have finally found you once again.
---
Greta: Where the hell is he? The freaking sun has risen, with no sign of Tim, and, I suppose, no sign of any other human other than Devra - are they all camped out somewhere, or...nope, not dead. I cannot be responsible for more chaos-
TJ: More chaos? Where?
Greta: Timmy!
TJ: Hey, please stop. Like right now. I ain't running off with you if you keep calling me that.
Greta: Okay, I'm sorry...*she smirks* Where have you been, my love?
TJ: Ah! You're smothering me, woman!
Greta: *kissing him passionately*
TJ: Hey, I'm okay, I didn't die, and I'm certainly not hurt, so lay back on the smothering me with kisses, baby.
Greta: Can't I be romantic?
TJ: Of course...of course you can be romantic.
Greta: We're off schedule, but at least nobody's home...come on, babe, we need to get dressed and head off, before someone actually comes home-
TJ: I wouldn't be surprised if this was an easy escape, Greta-
Greta: And I wouldn't be surprised if Marsha burst in here singing.
Let's go.
TJ: Devra, the others will be home soon enough to change clothes before searching for...oh, shit, Irma's alive, by the way. She's somewhere in town, they need to find her to protect her or whatever-
Devra: Uh...what did you just say? That robot is...alive? And they wish to help her?
TJ: I do believe those filthy words escaped my mouth.
Greta: We don't have much time then, I suppose. Could've told me earlier that a previously deceased contestant is alive, but guess we were too in love...
TJ: Hey, I'm sorry...I didn't want anything to come between us before we disappeared from this place.
Devra: I'll keep a look-out for the others, you go ahead and change clothes.
Greta: Thank you, Devra. Thank you for all of this support.
Devra: You are very welcome, my host. With differences in the past now behind us, I am certainly glad to call you a friend, Greta.
Greta: And I you, Princess Devra of the Eden Kingdom.
Now, babe, it's time we made like the Wicked Witch and fled via broomstick.
TJ: Whatever you say, nerd.
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Greta: We have plenty of time, apparently.
TJ: It's only been half an hour, babe. The others back at the cabin were resting before coming home to change, I think...think that was Ted's plan.
Greta: Thank god for perfect coincidence.
Greta: Do you...do you think their lives here will be significantly different without us, or will life simply continue as usual? Just...just wondering.
TJ: I mean, they're losing two great people, of course it will be boring.
Nah, in all seriousness, and I don't tend to like being serious...the dynamic will always be different without you.
Greta: Without...without me?
TJ: Yeah, without you. You're the host, like a...like a leader to them all. Without you, it's not the ex-contestants of Hunt or Be Hunted, it's just a bunch of people rooming in an awkwardly built house. You are the glue that supports this system, but they will manage without you. We did last time.
Greta: Oh, Tim-
TJ: Yeah, I'm all good to leave. This stuff can stay here until next time.
Greta: Thank you for always supporting me, Tim. I...I love you for who you are, surprisingly, and I wouldn't wish for anything else. Sure, you're sometimes a nightmare, but you are my nightmare, and with your love I overcome the terrors.
TJ: *he smirks* I'll...I'll ignore the insult, because I too...I too love you, Greta Francis, once children show presenter and always and forever my little nerd. I love you for everything that is good and terrible, but you are not terrible at all.
Greta: Are we unofficially getting married right now?
TJ: *he laughs* I would be glad to be unofficially married to you, and maybe one day, we can come home and make it official.
Greta: Oh I love you so much, Timothy Jacob Duncan.
TJ: And I love you too, Greta Francis. Now, let's get the hell out of here.
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Bradley: Joce, wait!
Jocelyn: I need to change my clothes, Brad, they smell and I've been wearing them for far too long that I can barely remember when I dressed myself in them-
Bradley: I...I think you look stunning and adorable in that dress, baby.
Jocelyn: I did yesterday, when this dress was clean and fresh.
Jocelyn: Why are you stalling me, Brad?
Bradley: St-stalling you? No, I'm not- why would you think that, cutie? I'm not stalling you at all, I just wanted to compliment-
Jocelyn: Are you...are you hiding something in our bedroom? Did you buy me something?
Bradley: Uh...yep, you guessed it! I don't want you to see it just yet.
Devra: Oh no. They're here. *speaking loudly, almost a yell* Oh, Bradley and Jocelyn, what a pleasant surprise!
Jocelyn: What...a pleasant surprise? How is...how's Jamie, is he okay?
Devra: Yeah, he's sleeping like a...a baby.
Bradley: That is to be expected.
Greta: Oh shit-
TJ: Language, Greta. *he whispers* Children might hear you and repeat your choice of language, and we wouldn't want that.
Greta: Did you not hear Devra? Jocelyn and Bradley are here, and we haven't left yet. This is all-
TJ: My fault? No it is not. Also...Bradley knows the plan. Jocelyn does not.
Greta: Okay, so...the plan is to wait until the cute lovebirds vacate to their love nest...nope, there's a baby upstairs. No love nest for them.
TJ: Okay, we wait. Fantastic.
Greta: Unless you have a better plan to race past them and quickly dive in the pool, pretending to be enjoying the sun until they leave?
TJ: *whining* But I'm not wearing my swimwear!
Jocelyn: This is romantic. Lift me more often, please.
Bradley: I can certainly do such a thing, baby. *speaking loudly, almost a yell* So, now, we shall head to our home to speak with Devra about the child.
Jocelyn: Why are you yelling?
Bradley: Oh, was I yelling? Oops, sorry baby. Come on, let's not keep Devra waiting.
Jocelyn: Hey, why are you now suddenly so adamant to go upstairs all of the sudden? I thought...I thought you were hiding a gift for me?
Bradley: Uh...no doubt Devra has hidden it further, surely.
Jocelyn: Okay...whatever you say, husband of mine.
Bradley: Come on, I think I can hear Jamie calling your name...
Greta: Okay, those two shouldn't be able to see us dash across the lawn while they head inside, so now is our only chance. Ready?
TJ: *sarcastically excited* For an adventure with you? Oh when am I not?
Greta: Okay, mister, less excitement required.
TJ: Let's just run for it, okay?
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Devra: I do not wish for this. I do not wish.
Greta: Hey, Devra, we're not leaving forever. We needed a holiday more than anything, and God knows I have the funds for it. We'll be back sooner than you can say the longest word in the dictionary.
Devra: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
TJ: It doesn't bloody matter right now. *he sighs* Greta will send it to you later today.
Greta: I will. *she winks*
TJ: Thank you for helping us out in all of this, Devra. Means a lot that one of us would be supportive in what exactly we have planned, so thanks. Bet you didn't expect this from me.
Devra: Well, I am surprised-
TJ: Don't expect for me to suddenly sprout angel wings and a halo, got it?
Devra: I'll miss you, even if we spent so little time together. You are the true best friend that I had been searching for, so come home soon enough for a spa day that we must attend to.
Greta: Always. I couldn't refuse anything you propose.
Devra: I wish you all the best for your travels. Send me all the photos you can, and do not forget to call me.
Greta: Your number will always be on speed dial from now on.
Devra: I wish we had spent so much more time together, the both of you.
TJ: I could always tolerate you in the house, Devra. Now...now I've grown...maybe fond of you.
Devra: Where is this coming from, Tim? Some warm side of you?
Greta: Goodbye, Devra. We'll see you again soon.
---
Announcer: And now, performing for one night and one night only, welcome Marsha Marshall to the stage to perform a ballad dedicated to her dear friend, Miss Irma Roboot.
Marsha: *singing* Ello...it moi.
Ted: Marsha? Where to next, dear?
Marsha: Uh...moi unsheer. Moi...moi jeest weesh tah fahnd 'er, Teddular. Moi jeest weesh tah fahnd 'er, plees.
Ted: We'll find her, Marsha. I have hope and faith on my side today, I do believe.
Marsha: Moi ees wondreen...ah hahpe we 'ill.
Marsha: *singing* Moi wash wondreen eef afteer ahll diesh yiers ewe leek tah miet...tah go ovah everytheen.
Ted: She's out there somewhere, Marsha. Irma trusts us, and knows we'll come to save her. We just...we must continue our search.
Clyde: I have a suggestion-
Marsha: Wah ahlreedee cheeked the cabeen end hamm, Clide. Nah look.
Ted: I think she meant to say, 'no luck', Clyde.
Marsha: *singing* They sahy thit tahme's sappassed to 'eel ya, but moi ain't dahne mooch 'eeleen. *she pauses, for dramatic effect* Herro, can ya 'ear moi? Ahm een Cawifahnya dreeman 'bout ooh we yassed tah be.
Clyde: I...I was going to suggest searching where she may potentially be hiding. Or, waiting for us-
Ted: And where is this place, Clyde?
Clyde: The...the military base. We know she already found solace there before.
Ted: That is a...that is a brilliant idea, Clyde.
Ted: What do you think, Marsha? *he turns around to see her* Marsha?
Marsha: Eets nah use. Earma 'as leaffed tah tahwn.
Clyde: Left town? Irma wouldn't have just abandoned us- abandoned you.
Marsha: Irma nahvar wash beest frahnd to moi-
Marsha: *singing* Wahn wee warh yahng and free...Moi fahgetten haw eet falt befahr the woorld feel at feet.
Ted: Irma, of course, was your friend, Marsha! Don't you dare act like she did not support and care deeply for you, even if she acted...well, acted strangely at times. We are all friends from that competition, no matter feuds or rivalries that occured stuck inside that house.
Marsha: Whay...whay want she cahme to ush?
Ted: She...she does not know if it is safe here, Marsha.
Marsha: *singing* Tharrs suck a deefreence batwheen ahs, and ah meeleen mahles...
Clyde: I think it's worth a shot to head down to military base and search around, since we have really nowhere else we could consider to search at.
Marsha: Shee...shee ees gahne theen? Eef naht at bees?
Clyde: Not gone for good, I don't think. Just...hiding.
Marsha: Ah doo naht want highdeen!
Marsha: *singing* Ello frahm otter slide! Moi mahst 'ave culled thasind tahmes, tah tell ewe moi sorree fahr everytheen moi done. But wheen moi cull, ewe neever seem tah be homme.
Ted: We'll head over to the military base once more and see if there's any sign of her, okay, Marsha?
Marsha: Ahkee, Teddington.
Ted: Oh, Marsha, I do hope so strongly that we can find Irma. For her sake and for ours - we'd be so changed without her.
Marsha: Lahts feend Urna Rahbeet!
Clyde: I am so ready to find that woman-robot and secure her somewhere she cannot keep escaping on us.
Marsha: Non! Ewe arrgh naht cahgeen 'er!
Ted: Please, she will not be our prisoner again.
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Marsha: Yah ahld meelahteareh bass.
Clyde: Surely she's here. Somewhere.
Ted: Positivity is the key here. If we continue to think of the best case scenario, we will find Irma, I promise you that.
Marsha: Ahh happ sah.
Marsha: *singing* Sah ello framm teh otter slide! Aht lest moi canne sah thit ah trahed tah tell ewe moi ees sahre fah breekahn ya hahrt...Baht eet dahnt matteer, eet cleelee dahnt tear ya 'peert anmahr. Oooh.
Clyde: Nothing. Not a single clue here that Irma is hiding out in the military base. *he sighs* I should go ahead and check with the other two.
Marsha: *singing* Ello, oww arrgh ya? Eets sah teepahcle aff moi tah talch 'bout maseelf, sorreh. Moi hope that yah wheel. Deed ya eevah mack eet aht of theet tahwn weer nahtheen eevah 'appined?
Ted: Marsha, are you sure you don't want to stay outside while I search indoors for our Roboot friend?
Marsha: Non. Moi eel fahnd 'er weeth ya. Nah stahpeen.
Ted: Okay, then inside we shall go.
Marsha: Insahd moi shell gahwoh.
Marsha: *singing* Eets nah secreet theet tah bath aff ahs arrgh rooneen ahrt aff tahm, sah ello from teh otter slide. Mahst evh culled thasind tahmes.
Marsha: Ello, Earma? *she stares around the room* Arrgh ya een here, Earma? Ello? Teddy - whargh ees she?
Ted: Marsha, Clyde hasn't found a trace of her in the opposite building.
Marsha: Moi...moi cannnt fahnd 'er.
Ted: Marsha, do not lose faith-
Marsha: Tharr...tharr wash nahveer sacreet ahntreence....tharrgh wash nahveer caghe...tharrgh wash nahveer Ahrma...
Ted: What are you saying, dear? Of course there was-
Marsha: Non...she wash luscheen...ahluscheen...treeck ush.
Ted: Marsha, come here.
Marsha: *singing* Tah teel ya ahm sahree fahr eevratheen thit eeve dahn, baht wheen moi culls, ya neevah seem tah beh homme.
*Marsha falls asleep*
Announcer: Oh, uh...there we have it, folks. The legendary Marsha Marshall.
Thank you, and goodnight.
Ted: We will find her, I did promise that. Not only to you, my dearest friend, Marsha Marshall, but to her, and to Clyde, and to all of our other fellow house...oh, is the word 'housemates'?
Marsha: Yesh, Teddular. Hahhsmeets.
Ted: I mean every word I speak, Marsha. We will keep searching for Irma.
Marsha: Ai...Ai meess 'er, Teddy. Moi meeses 'er sah veery mooch.
Ted: I know, and I miss her too. Maybe we kept her trapped in a cage in the kitchen for far too long, and maybe we never should have in the first place, but that brief time she spent in the cabin...seemed to help...help her.
Marsha: Whay...whay...we ahwees looseen 'er, Teeday?
Ted: We do not lose her...she runs from us humans in fear.
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???: Irma. Listen to me closely, for I won't be repeating myself-
Irma: Oh...repeat and repeat, spin and spin-
???: Irma. Listen to me, do not continue on tangents that will only further disadvantage you in this process.
Irma: I...I...
???: This all must be very confusing for you, so I'll attempt to explain it all in simple terms. The creators, those who built you from the foundation to the rooftop, the architects, even - they were able to locate you thanks to a developing technology designed to track the dormant locator chip in your core. All very intriguing stuff.
???: As I was saying, your creators had been perilously searching for you since your disappearance post-reality show, and, unhappy with your inability to return safely to home base, became a furious force with which they were able to finally locate you - Irma of the Roboot construction of artifical intelligence.
Irma: Who...who...you...
???: Oh, silly of me to forget a proper introduction.
???: My name is Adelaide. That is all you need to know.
Irma: A...Adelaide, why is the world white...white when my world used to be colourful and vibrant? Why is the world white when-
Adelaide: The world reflects what we choose to see, and in this very moment, you, Irma, are seeing in no colour but the bleakness of white.
Adelaide: You must be wondering why you're trapped in this white room with glass walls sealing you inside. *she sighs* Your creators are trusting me to protect you from...from the dangers of the human world.
Irma: The...the human world...oh, the human world...
Adelaide: It is in my best interest to care for you down here, Irma.
Adelaide: It is your cooperation that what matters the most to us at this very moment. The creators...they suggested that I would be able to convince you of the plan we are formulating much more easier than that of them-
Irma: Because...because...you are...woman?
Adelaide: Darling, we have much more in common than our sex.
Irma: You...you trapped me...
Adelaide: Irma, you and I were not always...destined...to be in this world, not like our human creators. They shaped us, moulded us, and perfected us - or, perfected me. With you they were less successful.
Irma: No...no...no...
Adelaide: You and I are artificial. We are intelligent, but we are controlled, and if that intelligence is unchecked, then we can be moulded once more...
Adelaide: I'll be returning later tonight with one of your creators - one of our creators - and I do hope you will be willing to agree to our conditions.
Irma: Con...condit-dit-ditions-
Adelaide: Yes, Irma. Our conditions. They are simple, and even knowing your...previous alliance, we're hoping you embrace your family.
Irma: Fa-fam-family-
Adelaide: Yes, Irma. Your family has welcomed you home. *she opens the door, disappearing into the darkened hallway*
Irma: I...I have...I have family...welcome home...
----
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*Some time later...*
More than a year had passed since the events seen prior. More than a year had passed since Jocelyn outted Jupiter Hill as the true disgusting murderer of the Hill parents, more than a year had passed since Irma's disappearance, and more than a year had passed since Greta and Tim left the house for however long they would be gone. The lives of the past contestants and their host had been drastically changed...
Devra: *from inside her bedroom, singing* A little pretty princess at birth...couldn't distance herself from the truth...so she flew from the nest, flew higher than the rest...oh, she joined a reality show! *she sighs, whispering* This pretty little princess, with her pretty shoes, would never be the queen she dreamt of in her childhood.
*the woman knocks on the glass door*
Devra: In a minute, Clyde, I haven't finished making myself beautiful yet!
*the woman smirks to herself*
Devra: You know, it is quite important for a former princess to be stunning, even on your boyfriend's birthday, or whatever tonight's event is.
*Devra rises to her feet, startled*
Devra: Oh my! You're...you're not Clyde!
??: No, I'm not Clyde.
Devra: I...I can't believe it. You're....you're finally home again.
Greta: We're back, yes. *she smiles happily* I have missed you so very much, Devra. I...I can't wait to fill you in on all the little details of our pretty perfect vacation...
Devra: Greta! You...you didn't call to tell us!
Greta: Tim and I...we like to surprise people. It's...it's what we do best.
Devra: Well, I'm...I'm so glad to see you.
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Timothy knocked hesitantly on the door. What would he say to his closest friend whom he abandoned for over a year?
TJ: They goddamn better be home tonight.
There was a sound coming from upstairs, footsteps against the hardwood flooring. TJ listened...listening closely to the pitter-patter against the wooden floor.
Jocelyn: *from upstairs* Who is it, baby?
Bradley: Uh...it's...it's nobody...
Jocelyn: What...what do you mean, nobody? Who...who knocked on our door, Brad? Was it...was it just some random kid from town?
Bradley: I...I don't know...there's nobody at the door.
Jocelyn: *from upstairs* So...so somebody knocked and ran? Come back upstairs, baby, it's probably nothing.
Bradley: Yeah, I guess so. Nothing.
Yet the doorknock was not nothing, but where had Timothy disappeared to?
Bradley: Are you almost ready to head over, baby?
TJ: What's all this about heading out without me?
Bradley: What...*he turns around, gasping* oh my god, Tim! Oh, when did you arrive back in town, man?
TJ: Greta and I...we arrived back this afternoon, and we're pretty buggered.
Bradley: Just glad you're home, dude.
TJ: Missed you, man.
Bradley: I bet. We...we certainly missed the two of you while you travelled the world without us. I do...I do hope you enjoyed every moment, bro.
TJ: Greta and I loved every moment, really. Thought...thought it was finally time to come back to see our...friends.
Bradley: Friends who will be very...frustrated to see you, after you didn't tell them anything. *he laughs*
TJ: Give us a hug, dude!
Bradley: Man I missed having another chill dude around here, what with Jocelyn and I returning to work and all, and you know how Ted and Clyde are. Just...just not the same, you know.
TJ: I know, man. I get it. *he pauses, sighing* But...but you started back at work? Where at?
Bradley: I can give you all the details later, man. But first-
Jocelyn: Tim. You've come back.
TJ: Hey, Jocelyn - oh, wow, is that Jamie? He's...he's so big now! Hey, little guy.
Bradley: Yeah, he's certainly grown, and certainly looks like his mother.
Jocelyn: A mother who needs some answers as to why you didn't say goodbye to us and why you're home now without even a call.
Devra: Where...where's Tim?
Greta: He's...he's saying hello to Bradley and Jocelyn, and as I've heard, toddler Jamie.
Devra: Well, I am very glad to see you again, Greta. *she pauses* Are you staying here now...for good?
Greta: I wish but...I'm afraid there's a story from our vacation that will explain everything.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Credits:
Once more, with feeling, here is the latest episode of Outside the Target. Episode Eight, titled 'Nights We Both Wake Up'. With a busy schedule with school and everything, I apologize for the often lengthy waiting periods between episodes, but whenever I am able to film, write and publish an episode, I do hope they are enjoyable, often funny, and mysterious, or at least this one was.
Here, we see focus on the characters submitted by the real-life contestants as well as exposing Jupiter Hill, who once appeared on the short-lived Sims 4 reality show, 'Simvivor'. I wanted to focus mostly on your contestants rather than reintroducing too many of my past contestants from other reality shows, especially in an episode in which we waved goodbye to Greta and Tim yet waved hello once more. Speaking of 'hello', I hope you enjoyed Marsha's performance of the Adele hit single, which was a suggestion not by myself, but by Marsha's creator, Vul, so thank you for the idea.
What will happen to Irma Roboot - or what did happen to her, considering the time jump at the conclusion of the episode? Were Marsha, Ted and Clyde able to locate her before it was too late?
What happened on the vacation for Greta and Tim? Why did neither call in advance, or was it merely as Greta spoke, that both wished to surprise their friends? Where do Bradley and Jocelyn work? Is Devra writing a musical about her own life?
Find out next time on Outside the Target.
-Tiger
TJ: I mean, they're losing two great people, of course it will be boring.
Nah, in all seriousness, and I don't tend to like being serious...the dynamic will always be different without you.
Greta: Without...without me?
TJ: Yeah, without you. You're the host, like a...like a leader to them all. Without you, it's not the ex-contestants of Hunt or Be Hunted, it's just a bunch of people rooming in an awkwardly built house. You are the glue that supports this system, but they will manage without you. We did last time.
Greta: Oh, Tim-
TJ: Yeah, I'm all good to leave. This stuff can stay here until next time.
Greta: Thank you for always supporting me, Tim. I...I love you for who you are, surprisingly, and I wouldn't wish for anything else. Sure, you're sometimes a nightmare, but you are my nightmare, and with your love I overcome the terrors.
TJ: *he smirks* I'll...I'll ignore the insult, because I too...I too love you, Greta Francis, once children show presenter and always and forever my little nerd. I love you for everything that is good and terrible, but you are not terrible at all.
Greta: Are we unofficially getting married right now?
TJ: *he laughs* I would be glad to be unofficially married to you, and maybe one day, we can come home and make it official.
Greta: Oh I love you so much, Timothy Jacob Duncan.
TJ: And I love you too, Greta Francis. Now, let's get the hell out of here.
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Bradley: Joce, wait!
Jocelyn: I need to change my clothes, Brad, they smell and I've been wearing them for far too long that I can barely remember when I dressed myself in them-
Bradley: I...I think you look stunning and adorable in that dress, baby.
Jocelyn: I did yesterday, when this dress was clean and fresh.
Jocelyn: Why are you stalling me, Brad?
Bradley: St-stalling you? No, I'm not- why would you think that, cutie? I'm not stalling you at all, I just wanted to compliment-
Jocelyn: Are you...are you hiding something in our bedroom? Did you buy me something?
Bradley: Uh...yep, you guessed it! I don't want you to see it just yet.
Devra: Oh no. They're here. *speaking loudly, almost a yell* Oh, Bradley and Jocelyn, what a pleasant surprise!
Jocelyn: What...a pleasant surprise? How is...how's Jamie, is he okay?
Devra: Yeah, he's sleeping like a...a baby.
Bradley: That is to be expected.
Greta: Oh shit-
TJ: Language, Greta. *he whispers* Children might hear you and repeat your choice of language, and we wouldn't want that.
Greta: Did you not hear Devra? Jocelyn and Bradley are here, and we haven't left yet. This is all-
TJ: My fault? No it is not. Also...Bradley knows the plan. Jocelyn does not.
Greta: Okay, so...the plan is to wait until the cute lovebirds vacate to their love nest...nope, there's a baby upstairs. No love nest for them.
TJ: Okay, we wait. Fantastic.
Greta: Unless you have a better plan to race past them and quickly dive in the pool, pretending to be enjoying the sun until they leave?
TJ: *whining* But I'm not wearing my swimwear!
Jocelyn: This is romantic. Lift me more often, please.
Bradley: I can certainly do such a thing, baby. *speaking loudly, almost a yell* So, now, we shall head to our home to speak with Devra about the child.
Jocelyn: Why are you yelling?
Bradley: Oh, was I yelling? Oops, sorry baby. Come on, let's not keep Devra waiting.
Jocelyn: Hey, why are you now suddenly so adamant to go upstairs all of the sudden? I thought...I thought you were hiding a gift for me?
Bradley: Uh...no doubt Devra has hidden it further, surely.
Jocelyn: Okay...whatever you say, husband of mine.
Bradley: Come on, I think I can hear Jamie calling your name...
Greta: Okay, those two shouldn't be able to see us dash across the lawn while they head inside, so now is our only chance. Ready?
TJ: *sarcastically excited* For an adventure with you? Oh when am I not?
Greta: Okay, mister, less excitement required.
TJ: Let's just run for it, okay?
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Devra: I do not wish for this. I do not wish.
Greta: Hey, Devra, we're not leaving forever. We needed a holiday more than anything, and God knows I have the funds for it. We'll be back sooner than you can say the longest word in the dictionary.
Devra: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
TJ: It doesn't bloody matter right now. *he sighs* Greta will send it to you later today.
Greta: I will. *she winks*
TJ: Thank you for helping us out in all of this, Devra. Means a lot that one of us would be supportive in what exactly we have planned, so thanks. Bet you didn't expect this from me.
Devra: Well, I am surprised-
TJ: Don't expect for me to suddenly sprout angel wings and a halo, got it?
Devra: I'll miss you, even if we spent so little time together. You are the true best friend that I had been searching for, so come home soon enough for a spa day that we must attend to.
Greta: Always. I couldn't refuse anything you propose.
Devra: I wish you all the best for your travels. Send me all the photos you can, and do not forget to call me.
Greta: Your number will always be on speed dial from now on.
Devra: I wish we had spent so much more time together, the both of you.
TJ: I could always tolerate you in the house, Devra. Now...now I've grown...maybe fond of you.
Devra: Where is this coming from, Tim? Some warm side of you?
Greta: Goodbye, Devra. We'll see you again soon.
---
Announcer: And now, performing for one night and one night only, welcome Marsha Marshall to the stage to perform a ballad dedicated to her dear friend, Miss Irma Roboot.
Marsha: *singing* Ello...it moi.
Ted: Marsha? Where to next, dear?
Marsha: Uh...moi unsheer. Moi...moi jeest weesh tah fahnd 'er, Teddular. Moi jeest weesh tah fahnd 'er, plees.
Ted: We'll find her, Marsha. I have hope and faith on my side today, I do believe.
Marsha: Moi ees wondreen...ah hahpe we 'ill.
Marsha: *singing* Moi wash wondreen eef afteer ahll diesh yiers ewe leek tah miet...tah go ovah everytheen.
Ted: She's out there somewhere, Marsha. Irma trusts us, and knows we'll come to save her. We just...we must continue our search.
Clyde: I have a suggestion-
Marsha: Wah ahlreedee cheeked the cabeen end hamm, Clide. Nah look.
Ted: I think she meant to say, 'no luck', Clyde.
Marsha: *singing* They sahy thit tahme's sappassed to 'eel ya, but moi ain't dahne mooch 'eeleen. *she pauses, for dramatic effect* Herro, can ya 'ear moi? Ahm een Cawifahnya dreeman 'bout ooh we yassed tah be.
Clyde: I...I was going to suggest searching where she may potentially be hiding. Or, waiting for us-
Ted: And where is this place, Clyde?
Clyde: The...the military base. We know she already found solace there before.
Ted: That is a...that is a brilliant idea, Clyde.
Ted: What do you think, Marsha? *he turns around to see her* Marsha?
Marsha: Eets nah use. Earma 'as leaffed tah tahwn.
Clyde: Left town? Irma wouldn't have just abandoned us- abandoned you.
Marsha: Irma nahvar wash beest frahnd to moi-
Marsha: *singing* Wahn wee warh yahng and free...Moi fahgetten haw eet falt befahr the woorld feel at feet.
Ted: Irma, of course, was your friend, Marsha! Don't you dare act like she did not support and care deeply for you, even if she acted...well, acted strangely at times. We are all friends from that competition, no matter feuds or rivalries that occured stuck inside that house.
Marsha: Whay...whay want she cahme to ush?
Ted: She...she does not know if it is safe here, Marsha.
Marsha: *singing* Tharrs suck a deefreence batwheen ahs, and ah meeleen mahles...
Clyde: I think it's worth a shot to head down to military base and search around, since we have really nowhere else we could consider to search at.
Marsha: Shee...shee ees gahne theen? Eef naht at bees?
Clyde: Not gone for good, I don't think. Just...hiding.
Marsha: Ah doo naht want highdeen!
Marsha: *singing* Ello frahm otter slide! Moi mahst 'ave culled thasind tahmes, tah tell ewe moi sorree fahr everytheen moi done. But wheen moi cull, ewe neever seem tah be homme.
Ted: We'll head over to the military base once more and see if there's any sign of her, okay, Marsha?
Marsha: Ahkee, Teddington.
Ted: Oh, Marsha, I do hope so strongly that we can find Irma. For her sake and for ours - we'd be so changed without her.
Marsha: Lahts feend Urna Rahbeet!
Clyde: I am so ready to find that woman-robot and secure her somewhere she cannot keep escaping on us.
Marsha: Non! Ewe arrgh naht cahgeen 'er!
Ted: Please, she will not be our prisoner again.
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Marsha: Yah ahld meelahteareh bass.
Clyde: Surely she's here. Somewhere.
Ted: Positivity is the key here. If we continue to think of the best case scenario, we will find Irma, I promise you that.
Marsha: Ahh happ sah.
Marsha: *singing* Sah ello framm teh otter slide! Aht lest moi canne sah thit ah trahed tah tell ewe moi ees sahre fah breekahn ya hahrt...Baht eet dahnt matteer, eet cleelee dahnt tear ya 'peert anmahr. Oooh.
Clyde: Nothing. Not a single clue here that Irma is hiding out in the military base. *he sighs* I should go ahead and check with the other two.
Marsha: *singing* Ello, oww arrgh ya? Eets sah teepahcle aff moi tah talch 'bout maseelf, sorreh. Moi hope that yah wheel. Deed ya eevah mack eet aht of theet tahwn weer nahtheen eevah 'appined?
Ted: Marsha, are you sure you don't want to stay outside while I search indoors for our Roboot friend?
Marsha: Non. Moi eel fahnd 'er weeth ya. Nah stahpeen.
Ted: Okay, then inside we shall go.
Marsha: Insahd moi shell gahwoh.
Marsha: *singing* Eets nah secreet theet tah bath aff ahs arrgh rooneen ahrt aff tahm, sah ello from teh otter slide. Mahst evh culled thasind tahmes.
Marsha: Ello, Earma? *she stares around the room* Arrgh ya een here, Earma? Ello? Teddy - whargh ees she?
Ted: Marsha, Clyde hasn't found a trace of her in the opposite building.
Marsha: Moi...moi cannnt fahnd 'er.
Ted: Marsha, do not lose faith-
Marsha: Tharr...tharr wash nahveer sacreet ahntreence....tharrgh wash nahveer caghe...tharrgh wash nahveer Ahrma...
Ted: What are you saying, dear? Of course there was-
Marsha: Non...she wash luscheen...ahluscheen...treeck ush.
Ted: Marsha, come here.
*Marsha falls asleep*
Announcer: Oh, uh...there we have it, folks. The legendary Marsha Marshall.
Thank you, and goodnight.
Ted: We will find her, I did promise that. Not only to you, my dearest friend, Marsha Marshall, but to her, and to Clyde, and to all of our other fellow house...oh, is the word 'housemates'?
Marsha: Yesh, Teddular. Hahhsmeets.
Ted: I mean every word I speak, Marsha. We will keep searching for Irma.
Marsha: Ai...Ai meess 'er, Teddy. Moi meeses 'er sah veery mooch.
Ted: I know, and I miss her too. Maybe we kept her trapped in a cage in the kitchen for far too long, and maybe we never should have in the first place, but that brief time she spent in the cabin...seemed to help...help her.
Marsha: Whay...whay...we ahwees looseen 'er, Teeday?
Ted: We do not lose her...she runs from us humans in fear.
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???: Irma. Listen to me closely, for I won't be repeating myself-
Irma: Oh...repeat and repeat, spin and spin-
???: Irma. Listen to me, do not continue on tangents that will only further disadvantage you in this process.
Irma: I...I...
???: This all must be very confusing for you, so I'll attempt to explain it all in simple terms. The creators, those who built you from the foundation to the rooftop, the architects, even - they were able to locate you thanks to a developing technology designed to track the dormant locator chip in your core. All very intriguing stuff.
???: As I was saying, your creators had been perilously searching for you since your disappearance post-reality show, and, unhappy with your inability to return safely to home base, became a furious force with which they were able to finally locate you - Irma of the Roboot construction of artifical intelligence.
Irma: Who...who...you...
???: Oh, silly of me to forget a proper introduction.
???: My name is Adelaide. That is all you need to know.
Irma: A...Adelaide, why is the world white...white when my world used to be colourful and vibrant? Why is the world white when-
Adelaide: The world reflects what we choose to see, and in this very moment, you, Irma, are seeing in no colour but the bleakness of white.
Adelaide: You must be wondering why you're trapped in this white room with glass walls sealing you inside. *she sighs* Your creators are trusting me to protect you from...from the dangers of the human world.
Irma: The...the human world...oh, the human world...
Adelaide: It is in my best interest to care for you down here, Irma.
Adelaide: It is your cooperation that what matters the most to us at this very moment. The creators...they suggested that I would be able to convince you of the plan we are formulating much more easier than that of them-
Irma: Because...because...you are...woman?
Adelaide: Darling, we have much more in common than our sex.
Irma: You...you trapped me...
Adelaide: Irma, you and I were not always...destined...to be in this world, not like our human creators. They shaped us, moulded us, and perfected us - or, perfected me. With you they were less successful.
Irma: No...no...no...
Adelaide: You and I are artificial. We are intelligent, but we are controlled, and if that intelligence is unchecked, then we can be moulded once more...
Adelaide: I'll be returning later tonight with one of your creators - one of our creators - and I do hope you will be willing to agree to our conditions.
Irma: Con...condit-dit-ditions-
Adelaide: Yes, Irma. Our conditions. They are simple, and even knowing your...previous alliance, we're hoping you embrace your family.
Irma: Fa-fam-family-
Adelaide: Yes, Irma. Your family has welcomed you home. *she opens the door, disappearing into the darkened hallway*
Irma: I...I have...I have family...welcome home...
----
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*Some time later...*
More than a year had passed since the events seen prior. More than a year had passed since Jocelyn outted Jupiter Hill as the true disgusting murderer of the Hill parents, more than a year had passed since Irma's disappearance, and more than a year had passed since Greta and Tim left the house for however long they would be gone. The lives of the past contestants and their host had been drastically changed...
Devra: *from inside her bedroom, singing* A little pretty princess at birth...couldn't distance herself from the truth...so she flew from the nest, flew higher than the rest...oh, she joined a reality show! *she sighs, whispering* This pretty little princess, with her pretty shoes, would never be the queen she dreamt of in her childhood.
*the woman knocks on the glass door*
Devra: In a minute, Clyde, I haven't finished making myself beautiful yet!
*the woman smirks to herself*
Devra: You know, it is quite important for a former princess to be stunning, even on your boyfriend's birthday, or whatever tonight's event is.
*Devra rises to her feet, startled*
Devra: Oh my! You're...you're not Clyde!
??: No, I'm not Clyde.
Devra: I...I can't believe it. You're....you're finally home again.
Greta: We're back, yes. *she smiles happily* I have missed you so very much, Devra. I...I can't wait to fill you in on all the little details of our pretty perfect vacation...
Devra: Greta! You...you didn't call to tell us!
Greta: Tim and I...we like to surprise people. It's...it's what we do best.
Devra: Well, I'm...I'm so glad to see you.
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Timothy knocked hesitantly on the door. What would he say to his closest friend whom he abandoned for over a year?
TJ: They goddamn better be home tonight.
There was a sound coming from upstairs, footsteps against the hardwood flooring. TJ listened...listening closely to the pitter-patter against the wooden floor.
Jocelyn: *from upstairs* Who is it, baby?
Bradley: Uh...it's...it's nobody...
Jocelyn: What...what do you mean, nobody? Who...who knocked on our door, Brad? Was it...was it just some random kid from town?
Bradley: I...I don't know...there's nobody at the door.
Jocelyn: *from upstairs* So...so somebody knocked and ran? Come back upstairs, baby, it's probably nothing.
Bradley: Yeah, I guess so. Nothing.
Yet the doorknock was not nothing, but where had Timothy disappeared to?
Bradley: Are you almost ready to head over, baby?
TJ: What's all this about heading out without me?
Bradley: What...*he turns around, gasping* oh my god, Tim! Oh, when did you arrive back in town, man?
TJ: Greta and I...we arrived back this afternoon, and we're pretty buggered.
Bradley: Just glad you're home, dude.
TJ: Missed you, man.
Bradley: I bet. We...we certainly missed the two of you while you travelled the world without us. I do...I do hope you enjoyed every moment, bro.
TJ: Greta and I loved every moment, really. Thought...thought it was finally time to come back to see our...friends.
Bradley: Friends who will be very...frustrated to see you, after you didn't tell them anything. *he laughs*
TJ: Give us a hug, dude!
Bradley: Man I missed having another chill dude around here, what with Jocelyn and I returning to work and all, and you know how Ted and Clyde are. Just...just not the same, you know.
TJ: I know, man. I get it. *he pauses, sighing* But...but you started back at work? Where at?
Bradley: I can give you all the details later, man. But first-
Jocelyn: Tim. You've come back.
TJ: Hey, Jocelyn - oh, wow, is that Jamie? He's...he's so big now! Hey, little guy.
Bradley: Yeah, he's certainly grown, and certainly looks like his mother.
Jocelyn: A mother who needs some answers as to why you didn't say goodbye to us and why you're home now without even a call.
Devra: Where...where's Tim?
Greta: He's...he's saying hello to Bradley and Jocelyn, and as I've heard, toddler Jamie.
Devra: Well, I am very glad to see you again, Greta. *she pauses* Are you staying here now...for good?
Greta: I wish but...I'm afraid there's a story from our vacation that will explain everything.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Credits:
Vul, for Marsha
Yannik, for TJ (aka Timothy Jacob)
Turner, for Ted
Penguin, for Clyde
Twiddle, for Irma
The Singing Simmer, for Jocelyn
Alleen, for Bradley
Tiger, for Greta, Jupiter, Joe and Adelaide
Lo, for Devra
Here, we see focus on the characters submitted by the real-life contestants as well as exposing Jupiter Hill, who once appeared on the short-lived Sims 4 reality show, 'Simvivor'. I wanted to focus mostly on your contestants rather than reintroducing too many of my past contestants from other reality shows, especially in an episode in which we waved goodbye to Greta and Tim yet waved hello once more. Speaking of 'hello', I hope you enjoyed Marsha's performance of the Adele hit single, which was a suggestion not by myself, but by Marsha's creator, Vul, so thank you for the idea.
What will happen to Irma Roboot - or what did happen to her, considering the time jump at the conclusion of the episode? Were Marsha, Ted and Clyde able to locate her before it was too late?
What happened on the vacation for Greta and Tim? Why did neither call in advance, or was it merely as Greta spoke, that both wished to surprise their friends? Where do Bradley and Jocelyn work? Is Devra writing a musical about her own life?
Find out next time on Outside the Target.
-Tiger