Outside the Target, Episode Four: Little Christmas Pageant

Here is the fourth episode of 'Outside the Target', titled...'Little Christmas Pageant'...


*One Week Later*

 Irma: What...what is...this?
Ted: Merry Christmas, Irma! Did you forget about the happiest day of the year, my dear? Oh, you couldn't have! 
Irma: No...I knew...but...this? 
Ted: Oh, the decorations?

 Ted: A little Christmas fairy came during the night and decorated your...home. 
Yes, your home. The Christmas fairy thought the decorations looked beautiful! 
Irma: No, no. 
Ted: Celebrate Christmas with us, Irma! Please! 
Irma: I...I'm-I'm trapped...in place.

 Ted: Oh, you can celebrate from inside the...home. It it not like you have been muted or something alike. Would you like to sing a carol, dear? 
Irma: You...you...me...me...
Ted: Oh good, practicing your singing! 

 Irma: No...me...no...you...
Ted: Hmm, would you like me to fetch you some breakfast this morning, Irma? Hmm...hold on...where is the ingredients for my Christmas dinner? 
Irma: Don't...don't ask...me.

 Ted: This cannot be happening. No, I cannot have misplaced those ingredients! Irma? 
Irma: Yes, Teddy? 
Ted: No, Irma, have you seen anyone come in here late at night and steal my ingredients for dinner? 
Irma: No...

 Ted: I do not have time to head down the store this morning! I need to prepare for dinner as soon as possible! This cannot be happening! 
Irma: Let...me...out...
Ted: What was that, dear? 
Irma: I...help...please...

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 Devra: Christmas time! 
*she brushes her hair* 
Devra: *singing* Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day, you gave it away. This year...
*there's a knock at the door* 

 Devra: Yes, come in. 
Marsha: 'Morneen Deebray. Slewp wheel?
Devra: Good morning then, Marsha. Wouldn't have expected you to come knocking on my door...well, ever. Come in, please. 
Marsha: 'Kay.

 Devra: What would you like to talk about today, Marsha? 
If this is about missing your performance, I said I was sorry the night after.
It's been a week, Marsha. 
Marsha: Oi yesh, moi knees theet. Moi weenteed to tack 'bout Creeshmist. 
Devra: Of course.

 Marsha: Moi weentad 'night off musqueek...nought of danscene. Moi 'steends ewe one most tellted peepill 'ere. Ewe no? 
Devra: I am quite talented, aren't I? 
Marsha: Moi mere telleentid, but moi nose ewe help. Be onstopbell. 
Devra: For once, I partially agree.

 Marsha: Eenyho, moi suggeese paegint. Creesemist paegint, feeled wit dansceene, seengin' and moosic. Ewe gree? 
Devra: That sounds...well, if I understand correctly...magical. 
Marsha: *singing* Let eet snose, let eet snose...

 Devra: We shall see. 
Marsha: Moi seengs, ewe dince. Ewe seeng too, moi dinceses ofteen. Togeethahr, we wheel be unstoopbell. Like...two pehs in pood. 
Devra: Two peas in a pod. Got it. What about the whole 'hater' thing? 
Marsha: Ewe jeest 'elous.

 Devra: I'm not jealous of you, Marsha. 
Marsha: Yesh, yesh ewe ees. 'Mit eet pless. 
Devra: I'm sorry, but why would I, Princess Devra, be jealous of you? 
Marsha: Canne weh jist doo Creesmist paegint?

 Devra: Tonight will be quite amazing, as long as you don't sabotage me! 
Marsha: Whey wood moi sabeetiges? 
Devra: I do not know who you are, Marsha. But let us just enjoy the fun for one night. Merry Christmas.

 *Marsha dances wildly* 
Marsha: Leet ish 'joy teenought. Meerah Creestmist, Devra. 
Happeh noo ear!
Devra: A happy new year to you too, Marsha. 
Maybe, for once, no more haters?

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 Jocelyn: Good morning, Ted. Merry Christmas!
Ted: Oh, this is not merry anymore. Sweetheart, did you happen to move my ingredients for tonight's dinner? 
Jocelyn: Oh...uh, no, I didn't. Can't you wish me 'Merry Christmas'? 
Ted: Oh, sorry love. Merry Christmas.

 Jocelyn: Ted, this isn't a big issue. Sure, you lost some ingredients for our Christmas dinner, but that is not what Christmas is. 
Ted: Jocelyn, you don't understand...I cannot have Christmas without my dinner! 
Jocelyn: Yes. Yes, you can. Enjoy today without stress.

 TJ: Oh, yay. Christmas time. Hooray!
Ted: Is that Timothy? Tell him the terrible news for me.
Irma: Not...bad...news...much. 
Ted: Not now, Irma. Please.

 Jocelyn: 'Morning, Tim. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, Mr Grinch? Come here to steal away some presents for your secret stash? 
TJ: Just because I'm not King Optimism-
Jocelyn: No, you silly Grinch. You're always so snarky around Christmas.

 TJ: Have you ever considered that there is a reason I'm so darn cranky all the time-
Jocelyn: *singing* You're a mean one, Mr Grinch! You really are a heel.
TJ: I'm not a Grinch, Jocelyn! I-
Ted: He definitely sounds like a Grinch indeed.
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 Clyde: *singing* The stars are brightly shining. It is the night of our dear savior's birth...
Bradley: Is that you out there, Clyde? 
Clyde: It is. May I come inside? 
Bradley: Please do.

 Clyde: Is there a problem, Bradley? You seem...stressed. Yes, that's it. 
You seem very stressed at the moment. 
Bradley: I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm not stressed at all. 
Clyde: That's what a stressed person would say. 
Bradley: I am fine.

 Clyde: Jesus H. Christ. 
Bradley: What? There's nothing scary here, Clyde. What are you talking about, swearing and carrying on? You shouldn't use his name in that manner. 
Clyde: Are you religious, Bradley? 
Bradley: Not much, no. Why?

 Clyde: Jesus H. Christ. That's a...well, a large amount of presents you have there. 
Bradley: Oh, is it? Well, there's more upstairs too. I...I didn't know what to buy everyone, so-
Clyde: So you bought everyone an entire store each?

  Bradley: They...they'll love them all...okay?
Clyde: Oh, knowing our group of misfits, they indeed will. 
What did you purchase for Devra? 
Bradley: Oh, she bought her presents herself. 
Clyde: Of course. 

 Clyde: Well, Bradley, I believe you did a fantastic job! 
None of us had bought as many presents as you. 
Bradley: Thank you, Clyde. I promise I purchased some...fun gifts for you. 
Clyde: I cannot wait to open them then.

 Bradley: Thank you for supporting me. I know I should have calmed down with the presents, but at least everyone can enjoy them. 
Clyde: I agree with you there, Bradley. You outdid yourself, but well done. 
Bradley: Thank you! I'm glad you didn't shame on me. 

Clyde: I would never shame on you, Brad. 
Bradley: I am glad for that, my friend. I'm just going to check on Jamie before joining the others. Are they in the kitchen? 
Clyde: I think so. Let me check in a moment.  

 Bradley: Thank you for once again for supporting me, Clyde. 
Maybe next Christmas I should not buy all the presents. 
Clyde: Sounds like a plan. 
Bradley: Before I head upstairs, can I ask you something? 
Clyde: Sure, Bradley. Go ahead. 

 Bradley: Should I return my gift for Greta? 
It's still lying around here among everyone else is. 
Clyde: I think...I think you should keep it for her. 
Bradley: In case she comes back to us? I don't know if that will even happens.

 Clyde: She might, knowing that she loves Tim. If she hadn't been lying...
Bradley: Those two are perfect for each other, of course she wasn't lying. 
Clyde: Then she will be coming back for him-
Bradley: Who knows? Maybe...

  Clyde: I'll see you shortly, Bradley. 
Bradley: See ya, Clyde! Merry Christmas! 
Clyde: Merry Christmas. *singing* Long lay the world in sin and error pining, til he appeared and soul felt it's worth...

 Bradley: I did good, Jamie! I did good! I purchased a wonderful amount of presents that everyone will love! Woo! Go me! 
Cheer me, baby boy! Jamie? 
*the sound of crying* 
Bradley: Hey, hey. Calm down, it's okay. Your dad's just excited, that's all.

 Bradley: Hey, it's okay. Dad shouldn't have screamed in joy around you, he knows that now. I'm sorry, Jamie. 
*Jamie continues to cry* 
Bradley: Hey, it's okay. Daddy's here now; it'll be okay now. 
I said I was sorry for the racket...

 Bradley: Right, you're a baby. You don't understand that I'm apologizing to you. Well, I am sorry. Papa will never scream or be excited around you again, okay? *he kisses his baby* Merry Christmas, Jamie. This is your first.

 Bradley: Welcome to our world now. You need to know that our Christmas's won't be easy, accommodating for...what, eight people...nine now. It'll be tough, but what else is Christmas? It's a...celebration of everything jolly, remember that. Time to spend with those you love.

 -----

Devra: Are you ready, Marsha? We need to practice before tonight.
Marsha: Moi ees preepiered, 'kay? Moi cinn seeng and dince weethit endloose preectace. Got eet? 
Devra: Okay, got it. So, I was thinking we begin with-
Marsha: Moi suggeestedes seengeen teh classeech corral sing, Jeenglish Bool Rick. 

Devra: So I think we start like this, facing away from the pathetic audience of peasants...sorry, I imagined we were performing for a profit, my apologies. 
We face away from our friends, yes. 
Marsha: Moi feegit too eesck: ewe live moi outfeet? 
Devra: Oh, very...Christmas-like. Personally, mine is better-

Marsha: Shushies!
Devra: Okay, fine. So...I'll spin around like this, with my hand on my hip, and once I sing my first wonderful solo piece, you spin too. Okay, love? 
Marsha: Oi yesh. Geet eet. Moi speen forsh, pless? 
Devra: I spin first, or else I will not perform. 

Marsha: Feen, Devra speens forsh. Feelieed bah moi, Marsha Marshall! *singing* Jeenglish bool rick, jeenglish bool rick...
Devra: Yes, why thank you, Marsha! 
Marsha: Non probleemnon. Moi tess seengsh and dince lak crazeh, 'kay? 
Devra: Remember who is beside you, dear.

Marsha: Theen moi solou dinces for tweentah meenoots solou, weethut eentrumption? Pless, solou for moi! Shoe movish! 
Devra: Could I repeat that, dear? Could not quite understand. 
Marsha: Moi dinces solou. Non ewe. 
Devra: No.

Devra: Why are we now dancing the tango....Marsha, is this your idea? 
Marsha: Could moi dreep yah? 
Devra: Do not even think about it, love. Do not even think about dropping me or else you will be thrown in with Irma. 
Marsha: Ewe weed noot daire. 

Devra: So...once we tango...I will stand front and centre and you will stand behind me, but do not worry, you will the spotlight later. 
Marsha: Oi, weel ah? Moi lives teh spootlaht-
Devra: That is...quite grand, isn't it? Pose! 
Marsha: Pousieh! 

Devra: I am quite glad you are not only attempting this to undermine me and later destroy me like you do with all of your haters. Just think, Marsha baby, this is the chance for me to enjoy your performance. Here I am too! 
Marsha: Oi, yesh. *singing* Marsha babeh! 

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TJ: I'm not a Grinch. I've barely even seen the movie, okay? All I know is that I'm not some green beast with anger issues surrounding Christmas. I'm-
Jocelyn: Yeah, we know, Tim. You're not a green beast. You just do you, buddy.
Irma: Green...be-be-beast..

Ted: We might as well eat paper plates for dinner tonight. 
Jocelyn: Don't think like that. I don't want to eat paper. 
Ted: Well, paper plates are mostly cardboard however...
Jocelyn: Can we find the ingredients or not? 

Ted: There's no time. I should have started cooking over an hour ago. 
Jocelyn: Surely everything isn't missing. How could that happen? 
Ted: I do not know. 
 Jocelyn: I bet I know exactly who did it. They're in this room. 

Ted: I doubt Timothy would hide the ingredients for tonight's dinner. 
Jocelyn: I didn't mean him, Teddy! Wait...no, what are you doing? 
Ted: I'm deep frying onion fingers. *he smiles* 
Jocelyn: Stop that right now!  

Ted: Why? They look so...oh, so delicious! Hmm, yummy! 
Must share these with our star Marsha later. 
 Jocelyn: You should be prepping for dinner, not digesting all this oil! 
Ted: Why do you care what I digest, dear? 

Jocelyn: This is unhealthy, and I almost broke the rules while I was pregnant. 
I'm sorry, Ted, but I must ignore this and interrogate Irma. 
Ted: Hm...you believe she did break out to steal the deconstructed Christmas dinner? 
Jocelyn: Better chance than the ol' Santa Claus climbing in through the ceiling. 

Ted: Be...unhealthy with me and eat something oily! 
Jocelyn: I...I'm saving space for dinner tonight, thank you! 
Ted: There will not be a dinner tonight without my ingredients! 
Jocelyn: Yes, there will. 

Ted: Onion fingers! 
Jocelyn: Ted, you will be cooking dinner for us tonight. 
I don't know where I'll find everything on such short notice, but you know me. 
Miss Optimism to the rescue, huh? 
Ted: I suddenly do not feel like cooking. 

Jocelyn: Please, whoever exists in the sky, just beam down the ingredients. I promise I've been a splendid girl this year. I gave birth! Isn't that a good deed to last a lifetime? Please, person upstairs, I'm hungry for some turkey! 
Ted: I still cannot believe the turkey disappeared just like that! 
Jocelyn: Please. Me wants turkey. 

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Clyde: Merry Christmas, Dustin. 
Dustin: Merry Christmas, Clyde. I'm glad you invited me over today. 
I should've worn something else here, not this outfit again. 
Clyde: I don't mind. You look handsome. 
Dustin: Oh, Clyde. You do too. 

Clyde: It's...it's this time of year I miss my daughter the most. 
She...she loved Christmas, Dustin. Loved the presents...the food...even if it was only her and I. I...I miss her too much. 
Dustin: I know, and I wish you could be with her. 
At least I am here for you. 

Clyde: I know, I know. Thank you...so, so much. Without you I would be a bumbling mess this time of year, and where would I be? In a corner, wasting precious time...
Dustin: Your daughter would be missing you too, but you can't forget that she loves you. 
Clyde: She...she loves me immensely. 

Dustin: I'm really quite enjoying our time together, Clyde. 
*he kisses him*
Clyde: Oh...Dustin...I have been too. Thank you...for comforting me. 
Dustin: Oh, of course. 

Clyde: How are you doing in there, love? 
Do they clothes fit well? Bradley said he didn't mind for you to borrow them for today, considering it would be a pain for you to rush home now. 
Dustin: They fit perfectly, thanks. Tell him I'm grateful. 
Clyde: I will, hehe. 

Dustin: I'll be right out, okay? 
Clyde: I'll be waiting on the sofa then. 
Dustin: (to Clyde) Okay, baby. 
(to himself) Merry Christmas, Dustin. Enjoy this as much as you can. 

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TJ: Stupid Christmas tree. Ugh! Stupid Christmas tree! 
Devra: Marsha! Please, focus! We need to perfect this! 
Marsha: Ey! Moi ees focseseed, think ewe, Deb-Devra. 
TJ: Why is kicking a Christmas tree down never as easy as it should be? 

Bradley: Tim, what are you doing? 
TJ: What does it look like?
Bradley: You're trying to kick down our Christmas tree-
TJ: *sarcastically* Ding, ding, ding, ding. That's it, five points for Bradleydor. 

Bradley: Why are you doing this? Do you...do you truly hate-
TJ: Christmas? Oh, I might as well. *he pauses* Oh look! I hate Christmas!
There, you happy now? 
Bradley: No. Now I'm more depressed. Tim, please-
TJ: What? 

Bradley: Tell me what is the matter. What caused you to hate...Christmas? It's one of the most happiest days of the full 365, is it not? 
TJ: You wouldn't understand, man. 
Bradley: Please, try me. 
TJ: You never will understand me, and sure, that's okay for you, but this is the last time I will allow it. 

TJ: When...when was the last...last time someone...supported me? 
Bradley: Tim...please. I...I...
TJ: You don't...no, you won't...I am nothing but the bad boy to you, with no feelings. 
Bradley: I...I know...I know you have...you have feelings. 

Marsha: Oh sneep. 
Devra: I do say, this has to be the most strange event to happen today. On Christmas, I do mean. Two friends...best friends...
Marsha: Sheeh, Devra. Non speckeens. 
Devra: Shall we leave? 

Jocelyn: Timothy! Come back here! 
 Bradley: *rubbing his throat* Hey, man, please. Talk to me. 
TJ: No. I need to be left alone. I'll see you all at the bloody talent pageant. 
See ya.
Marsha: Leets goh. 

Jocelyn: Hey, Brad. Are you okay, baby? 
Bradley: I'm not a baby, and I could have handled him. 
If he continued to attack me. 
Jocelyn: I'm glad he didn't. I don't want you bleeding. 
Come inside, there's leftover onion fingers! 

Ted: Here, Bradley. Try one of these onion fingers. 
Bradley: I'll...I will pass, thank you. Don't like onion much. 
Ted: Well, in that case, Irma? 
Irma: *snoring* Merry...merry...Christmas...merry...

----

 

Devra: Hello, friends. As you know, my name is Devra Eden. Of thee Eden kingdom, of course. Hehe. Thank you for enjoying our first performance, but we are not finished yet, my loves. For our second and final performance....Marsha? 
Marsha: Yesh, theenks Deevra. 

Marsha: Up neext weh hive 'nother 'formance. For theese, Devra end moi 'ill beh seenging ah classeec sing, Wei Ned Leetill Creestmist. Moi hop ewe wheel enhoy eet! 
Devra: Please, hold all applause until the end. Thank you, and....
Marsha: Leets begeehin! 

Izzy: Woohoo! 
Devra: Could it really be? Oh, right, I invited her. My bad. 
Sorry, she always arrives late. 
Grape: Izzy, we need to head around the side. 
Jason: Look at these muscles! 

Marsha: *whispering* End, feeve, seesk, siveen, att. 
Devra: Welcome ladies and gentlemen. Please enjoy our singing. 
*she pauses; before singing* Haul out the holly
Put up the tree before my spirit falls again.
Marsha: *singing* Feell upeh teh schockeengh;
moi mah beh rusheen theengsh, but deek teh houlls agheen non!

Izzy: *singing* For we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute. You know what I really need this very minute? Ooh...
Grape: Izzy! Oh god... *singing* Candles in the window; carols at the spinet. Yes, we need a little Christmas.
Jason: *shaking his head; singing* Right this very minute.  

Izzy: *singing* It hasn't snowed a single flurry
But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry. 
Grape: So climb down the chimney...
Jason: Turn on the brightest string of light I've ever seen
Slice up the fruitcake
It's time we hung some tinsel on that evergreen bough

Devra: *singing* For I've grown a little leaner...
Marsha: Gronn leetill coddeer...
Devra: Grown a little sadder...
Marsha: Gronn leetill ohldah...non, moi haseen't. 
Moi ees nit ohld. 

Ted: Very true, dear. You are not old. Me, however, oh boy I am old! Hehe. 
I am kidding, of course! I would never hate on myself. 
Clyde: Go Devra! Sing it, girl! 
Ted: Oh, go Marsha...seeng eet, gal. 
Jocelyn: What? Ted? 

Bradley: Tim, where are you going? 
TJ: I, uh, need to use the bathroom. I'll be right back. 
Bradley: Tell me the truth, dude. 
TJ: I'm sorry, can I not pee? Does the Grinch not piss? 

Jason: Go Devra! That's my girl! 
Grape: We know, Jason. 
Izzy: Little lover boy bragged the whole car ride! 
Just jump her, handsome guy! You know you want it. *she winks at him* 
Jason: I don't...I don't want you.  

Devra: *singing* But we need a little Christmas
Right this very minute...
Marsha: Cindeels in weendoh; cirools eet speenit
End moi kneed leetill Creestmist...
 Devra: Right this very minute...

Dustin: Thank you again for inviting me, Clyde. 
This is...really enjoyable. Thanks. 
Clyde: You are very welcome. 
Izzy: Not enough...passion. Like, live a little! 
Grape: I think this is wonderful. 

Marsha: Weh ned leetill Creestmist non...
Devra: We need a little Christmas now...
Marsha: Weh ned leetill Creestmist non...
Devra: *mumbling* Let me finish. *singing* We need a little Christmas now!  

Jason: Woo! Go Devra! Love you! 
Devra: Oh my! He loves me...yay! Ha! Take that, Marsha! 
Marsha: Oi...*singing* Weh ned leetill Creestmist non! 
Ted: Woohoo! Very magnificent, Marsha! Loved it!  

*Meanwhile, inside...* 
Irma: It is time for me plan to finally pay off. It is time for me, Irma Roboot, to strike back. Merry Christmas, fellow ex-contestants, but the best present is yet to come. The best present will be mine. You should never have locked me up...

Irma: *evil cackle* Hahahahaha! You thought I would submit to your foolish Christmas decorations and joy and glee. Oh, Christmas tree, such pleasure will be brought when I escape tomorrow morning and ah...I will win this time. 
No wicked ex-contestant will be able to stop me. 

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TJ: *singing softly* Greeting cards have all been sent
The Christmas rush is through
But I still have one wish to make
A special one for you... 

TJ: Merry Christmas, Greta. I miss you so much. 
Happy new year too. I...wish I were with you today, but I guess not. 
*he sniffles; singing* Merry Christmas, darling.
Devra: *screaming* MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! 
TJ: *sniffling* Greta... 


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Credits: 

Twiddle, for Irma
 Turner, for Ted

 Lo, for Devra 

Vul, for Marsha

 The Singing Simmer, for Jocelyn

Yannik, for TJ (aka Timothy Jacob) and Dustin 
Penguin, for Clyde
Alleen, for Bradley

Tiger, for Izzy, Grape and Jason

 

Merry Christmas from me, Tiger. This year has been eventful but rewarding, I think. Season Two of High Hopes is complete and yet here we are, still following the lives of the eight contestants that I love so dearly. If this was Thanksgiving, I would thank Twiddle, Lo, Penguin, Alleen, Turner, Vul, Yannik and TSS for submiting wonderful sims and honestly just being wonderful in general. 

Another year gone. Another Christmas nearly passed. I hope you all enjoy your Christmas and spend time with family, friends and everyone in between. Do not attempt to kick over the Christmas tree. Attempt to break free from a cage, literally or metaphorically. Remember those who couldn't be there for Christmas this year. 

I'll see you next time.

-Tiger