Outside the Target, Episode Eleven: Skeletons in Closets

Here is the eleventh episode of 'Outside the Target', titled...'Skeletons in Closets'

The Halloween Special

 TJ: God she's sexy. 

Devra: Who is? What are you looking at over there, mister? 

TJ: Greta just sent me a pic of her and Chanel for Halloween. They went for a superhero/supervillain theme, I guess...

 Devra: Let me see then...oh woah, she does look very stunning...very interesting choice of costume, but she pulls it off quite well - is that right? 

TJ: Yeah, you got it...though I wish I was pulling it off - 

Devra: Do not be ridiculous, you could not wear that - ohhh. 

TJ: Yeah so I miss her like crazy. 

 Devra: But cast your eyes this way, Timothy - do I not wear this costume to stun all the boys? I certainly sent Jason a few pictures. 

TJ: Worried if I look up and make any comment Greta will hunt me down and shove a spike up my - 

Devra: Well, you are hoping she returns soon - 

TJ: No...not that way. 

 Devra: I believe you can say I look pretty -

TJ: Oh, you do, Devra. I'm sure Jason loved the pics. 

Devra: He, uh...has not responded yet. 

TJ: I'm sure he's just busy, ya know, with Halloween stuff. Didn't you say he had some party on? 

 Clyde: Don't bother trying to run away to some party. We've got a mystery to solve, ladies and gentlemen. 

TJ: Cause that sounds a whole lot better than some party. 

Devra: What is this mystery you have cooked up then, Clydey? 

TJ: Is Dustin pretending to be dead in the kitchen again? 

Not fun, dude. 

 Clyde: No, no, this ain't no prank today. Tim, Devra, we've got a case on our hands, on all our hands, and we'll be the ones to solve it - 

TJ: Spit it up, Clyde. 

Clyde: That is what you would say to a child, Tim. I will spell it out for you both. There is a mystery we have forgotten about. 

Whatever happened to London Howard? 

______

 Irma: You dress me in rags now because I pretend to try to murder you because otherwise they will expect me of not having changed? Was there no other costume I could have worn? 

 Marsha: Tahre washeent, Earmie. Tat wasshe ahnleh theeng weh heed, sah dill, ohcai? Eeet less ees klahves, ohcai? 

Irma: Who are you supposed to be? 

Marsha: Da Kween. 

Irma: I have...sparse knowledge of such a being. Some hideous public figure? 

Marsha: Nahhht heedueesh! 

 Irma: I will request my old clothes back, if you happened to keep them in my absence - 

Marsha: Moi ahlmeest barnt thim. 

Irma: You must know I was kidnapped back, Marsha. 

Marsha: Moi cahld steel beh beenen lahnn tah ehvin these sahkeend - 

 Irma: Oh you must learn to trust your dear old friend, Marsha. 

Marsha: Ewe minn...ewe trahleh ees bick? 

Irma: I have taken myself offline again. It will mean they cannot track or monitor me, but it will also mean - you do not need to stress about that, dear Marsha. 

 Marsha: Moi wheel cahm bick tah cheek ahn ewe liter...ohcai? 

Irma: I will see you then, Marsha. Be safe. 

Any idea on what you are embarking on tonight? 

Marsha: Moi dees nut nooo, baht weel fahnd eet. 

Hapfilly ees ahhg hut! 

Irma: But that is a traditional Easter event, Marsha, not Halloween! 

 Ted: Come now, Marsha. Everyone is awaiting us in the kitchen! 

Marsha: CAHMEEN! 

________

 Clyde: Thank you all for meeting me in here. Again, sincerest apologies for the change in plan, but I assume you all understand the importance of the mystery we must all solve. 

TJ: Yeah I can't wait to almost be murdered looking for someone who might just be having a cup of tea in her mansion. 

Clyde: I promise you, she has not been seen at any of her properties in some time. 

 Bradley: You sure there's not a hidden one we don't know about? Underwater, maybe? 

Jocelyn: Look I think whoever has been searching for her might just know where she could or couldn't be - 

Bradley: What, Clyde? He couldn't - 

Clyde: Jocelyn is right to suspect I'm not doing this alone. 

 TJ: My jaw is starting to lock from all these surprises I'm blowing out of proportion. 

Devra: I am onboard to search for her, Clyde. 

Clyde: Thank you, Devra. 

Devra: I would personally love to know why she believes she can drop from the face of this earth without a word, and whether she has any new technology that could be part crown, part personal handmaiden.  

Clyde: Ah, our...our first priority is not to ask for the latest tech...we go in and we demand answers about what happened to us, following the end of Hunt or Be Hunted, and if that is the reason she, well, disappeared. 

TJ: I guess that's a pretty solid idea, dude. 

Clyde: Thanks, Tim. Marsha? Ted? 

What are you distracted by? 

 Marsha: Moi thaaght moi sah e ghast...sorreh. 

Ted: No, I would have thought I had seen it too...just over there, in the corner, where we once had Irma locked up -

Bradley: Pretty sure she's alive and up in your, uh, bedroom cell - wait, could she even become a ghost if she died? Or shut off, or whatever. 

Jocelyn: I have no idea...

 Marsha: Eeet...eet mahst hiv bin moi eemigetaneeshion - 

Ted: Mine too. Interesting. 

Clyde: Well...I have no clue if the land we stand on is haunted by ghosts, and that isn't the focus of today, we aren't hunting for them...remember the case, and the mystery! 

Marsha: Moi schweer...ah wheel...

Jocelyn: How exactly do we, a bunch of normal people dressed up in costume, go about finding a rich lady that hasn't been seen in a while? Seems like more of a job for, say, Greta...not to say I'm not super excited. 

Bradley: But not too late, Jamie is with a babysitter - 

Jocelyn: Look at you being a cute daddy - 

TJ: Ew. Get a room. 

Clyde: We have one lead, at least. A friend. 
We follow this lead. It can go somewhere, or it go nowhere. 
We must prevail if we wish to find the elusive London Howard. 
She has to be out there somewhere. 

_______

TJ: Who's this source of yours anyway? And why is she dressed so fancy all the way up here? Why did we have to come all the way up here? 

Clyde: She thought it would be best...plus, she likes making an entrance. 

Devra: She looks like a princess...

Bradley: But those don't exist - 

Devra: Oh sweetheart they do. 

Marsha: Weel vut ees weh weetaing fah? Laaights tack tah 'er! 

Ted: We have to give her the dramatic entrance she wants, Marsha - 

Marsha: Sheh hiss hed thett ahntreench! Weh hickd ahhl thees waie fah 'er! 

Ted: But she is yet to turn around and introduce herself, Marsha. 

Clyde: I'd like to thank you all for coming up here with me, so that we can truly crack this case open. Of course, this is merely the start point. Where we gather more starting information. My friend here will give us the information she has gathered, following a lead she told me about a little while ago. 

Jocelyn: Was that when you disappeared for a few hours? 

Clyde: I wasn't gone long at all...

Ella: Thank you for bringing them all here, Clyde. Hello all. My name is Ella. I've been tracking London's movements, when I've found any clue. Why? Well, that is a good question. London Howard is an inspiration of mine, but first and foremost, she is my aunt. I know...there are more sides to this than imagined before. I was bored with my life, living as essentially the slave to my stepfamily, so I started doing some research...

Ella: Hey there, Clyde. 

Clyde: Ella. You called saying you have something. 

Ella: I do. 

Clyde: Something is better than nothing. 

Ella: I don't know a lot, but I've got this much, and as you said...you want to hear something, rather than go home knowing you are not one step, or even two, closer to finding out the truth. 

Clyde: Your information will help me out, Ella. 

Ella: Please don't tell anyone you talked to me. 

Clyde: Of course not...as of right now, I'm trying to find her on my own. 

Clyde: And now we want to know where you went, after our chat. Have you heard back from Jessie? 

Ella: The, uh...the train went cold with her, unfortunately. 

Clyde: She isn't dead, is she?

Ella: Oh no no, of course not! She's now just as clueless as I was. 

Ella: But I have two new leads, from following news stories about her in the past, and from digging up secrets about this town and the people in it. See, there was a reason London sent you all here. This is where her family first rose up, or, where she was when the Howard name started becoming so big...this is her home. 

Clyde: I never knew that side of things...makes you think. 

Ella: London had always planned, or she had said so, that she would come back and visit me sometime, because she knew how much she meant to me...I know London was not always the best person, but she was ambitious, and she had then courage I couldn't ever imagine while I still lived with my stepfamily...which is unfortunately still the case, but not a focus of tonight. 

Jocelyn: You seem awfully familiar...

Clyde: So these two new sources of information? It would be better the group split up then, huh. 

Ella: To meet with both sources, yes, I think it best if you split up and went your separate ways beyond this point, or else you might just keep one waiting for too long. 

Clyde: We've gotta get this mystery settled tonight. 

Ella: Oh of course. What better night to solve the mysterious disappearance of London Howard, my aunt, than on Halloween itself? The night of grey...

Clyde: We picked the perfect time for it indeed. 

Now, tell us about these sources of yours. 

Ella: I believe you know one of them already, Clyde. You all do. 

Ella: She will meet you at the graveyard, this source. There have been some rumblings about a mysterious older woman visiting a grave in the catacombs below the graveyard, and many are clueless, but it could be that this elderly woman is the mother or grandmother of London, if the rumours of London's death are to be believed. My source hopes to meet with the old hag tonight. 

Ella: The rest of you will go with Clyde to meet one of London's ex-bodyguards. His name is Xavier, and he stopped working for my aunt a few months ago, but we have reason to believe he may know some of her secret hideaways. He's well hidden, in case someone from London's team tries to track him down to...well, they might kill him, cause he knows secrets, you know...but we found his address. God that took me forever, I had to call Liam for help. 

Smart cookie he is. 

Clyde: Okay. Devra, Tim, you're with me. We go visit our friend the bodyguard. 
That means Marsha, Ted, Jocelyn and Bradley, see what the graveyard has in store. We meet back at the house by sunrise and hopefully we've come up with more than 'Oh, I do hope London Howard doesn't stay missing forever!'

_______

 Devra: It is incredibly dark here and we had to travel so far out of town I'm not even sure we're still in the same town, oh I do hope this ex-bodyguard is home right now. 
Clyde: He should be. It'd be best for him not to leave the house. 
TJ: Well, all I gotta hope is he doesn't have a rifle by the door. 
These guns have nothing on real weaponry. 

 Clyde: He'll be home, and he'll be unarmed. Or I assume so. 
Devra: You see, assumptions are good, Clyde, but not when it involves a likely very muscular man who may have a gun if you are indeed wrong. 
Clyde: We'll be safe. We can say we're trick or treating! 
TJ: Yeah cause I look like a five year old. 

 Clyde: I've got to assume he knows we're coming to talk. 
TJ: Because otherwise he'll think we're weird church people for coming all this way this late at night. Gee, this plan is brilliant! 
Clyde: I have full trust in Ella, Tim. 
TJ: She's like an innocent high schooler who follows her dad to work one day and finds one piece of evidence, and suddenly thinks she is top - 

 Clyde: Oh shut up, Tim, we know you're especially bruised recently -
Devra: It was tough enough getting him into costume...Clyde, do not be so harsh on him. 
TJ: No, let the old dude get mad. 
We all know I'm some timebomb just waiting to explode. Then you'll be eating my guts, Detective Clyde. 

.
.

Marsha: Zah greevyid. Spaahkeh! 
Bradley: Boo! 
Marsha: Ewe nah skahree gahste, Brahdleh. Ewe peethitic. 
Bradley: Who said I was trying my hardest? I can do a whole lot worse, Marsha, just you wait...

Jocelyn: Okay...well, it may be dark, and I may not like the dark too much, but everything will be okay and we'll be going inside soon. 
Bradley: Into the catacombs! Spooooky! 
Ted: Are there real life skeletons in this catacombs? I am afraid I have not yet had the opportunity to be invited into them - 
Marsha: Ah yeees moi neevir bin 'er aihter. 

 Jocelyn: I was expecting her to be just waiting for us out front, you don't think she's just waiting down in the catacombs for us, is she? A little rude. 
*rustling in the bushes* 
Bradley: Oh my god you guys it's a zombie. 
Marsha: Nup skahree, Bridleh. 
Bradley: Something is definitely coming this way...

 Diane: Boo. 
Jocelyn: Oh my! Is it...it can't be? 
Diane: Hello again, all. It is in fact I. 
Diane White, in the flesh. 
I apologise if you can barely see me in this lighting. 

Diane: I have been interested in finding London for some time now. Ever since we met, I found her fascinating, and when she stopped making appearances and seemed to disappear off the face of this planet, I started my investigation. She is somewhere, and this tale of the old hag may be a start. Or it may be a dead end. But there is a tomb for the Howard family in the depths below, that I know...

 Diane: If you will all follow me...we will uncover some truth, or so I do hope. 

 Ted: Oh I think I might just stay outside in this beautiful breeze, how about you, my dear Marsha? 
Marsha: Moi ees ahkie naht goheen dahnsteers eentah carteen deeth - 
Jocelyn: You are both cowards, you know. 
Bradley: Jocelyn! 
Jocelyn: Just stating facts. 

Bradley: You're walking too fast, babe! 
Jocelyn: You're just slow! Come on! Diane could have disappeared too by now. 
Bradley: I can see her right there, waiting - 
Jocelyn: Could be a ghost. You know, it is Halloween. Spooky things happen tonight. Like ghosts looking like Diane White. 

____________

 Clyde: Okay, remember...we want information out of him, not a gun in the face from him - 
TJ: So he does have a gun then...sigh. 
Clyde: No, I was hitching on your paranoia, Tim. Please. 
Thank him for letting us come inside and have the chat, then chat like normal people. 
Devra: We are certainly known for being normal, Marsha most of all...

Clyde: Thank you for agreeing to chat with us, Xavier. 
Xavier: Of course. 
TJ: You have a beautiful home...really 'out in the woods, I don't have much technology chic' I'd say, it works - 
Clyde: The hell is that? 
TJ: I'm being polite! Jeez. 

 Xavier: You have come thinking I have information about my former employer. Is that the case? 
Clyde: Why don't we be friendly first? I haven't even sat down yet - 
Devra: Would you happen to have anything for this fabulous princess to sip? 
Xavier: All my cups are dirty. 

Clyde: Come, friends, let's sit down. 
Devra: How can all of the cups be dirty? Oh wait...he does not live in a castle, that must be it. 
TJ: Yep. People have it worse off than you did, your highness. 
Devra: Go sit down, Timothy. Go on. Go. On. 

 Clyde: Thank you again for agreeing to this - 
Xavier: Had not much choice, sir - 
Clyde: The name is Clyde, but tonight you can, uh, hehe, you can call me Detective Clyde, cause this is my case to crack - 
TJ: Big dork. So big. 

 Xavier: I won't be calling you Detective anything, and I won't be answering any further question with the truth - 
Devra: Well is that not perjury against the court. 
Xavier: I did not promise any sort of truth, I promised I would meet with some of Ella's friends to discuss how I know London. 

 TJ: Do you like having two nuts, Xavier? 
Xavier: It gets me the ladies, yes. 
TJ: What a shitty response. If you don't give us something to work with, spill one of her favourite hideout spots, perhaps, you will walk away from here with just one nut, and those squirrels with go on chasing someone else - wait a second, how are you getting girls all the way out here anyway? 

Xavier: You see it is simple: I stole a piece of technology with exceptional reception, and with it I downloaded this dating app, a real good one, and the girls don't mind the drive, trust me, they say it's real scenic - 
TJ: Shut the heck up, dude. I don't care. 
Xavier: You seem to be interested in knowing - 
TJ: I didn't need a dang life story, mate. 

Devra: May I ask you one question, Xavier? 
Xavier: Of course, pretty lady. May I say your costume is smoking - 
Devra: I will not fall for that again. There is no fire, just my beauty. 
Anyhow...my question is this: what happened to you? 
Xavier: I had to flee or else I would be dead. 

 Clyde: Could we have some more information, maybe? 
Xavier: I was fired for seducing London's client at the time, and for being late too many times, and for not eating the right cereal on a Wednesday morning. So I had to leave, but I had known too much to simply be let go - 
Clyde: You are a liability. A sexy liability. 
Xavier: I am not interested in men, sir. 

 TJ: Oh don't you worry, Clyde is happily taken. 
Xavier: And what about you, pretty boy? 
TJ: This ain't about me tonight, hey? It's about you spilling some beans. 
What caused London to go into hiding? Where is she? 
Xavier: Perhaps we can warm up to those questions, pretty boy. 

 Xavier: I will be one moment, I need to piss. 
TJ: Of course you damn well do.
Hurry back, cutie. 
Clyde: What's this, Tim developing a thing for a dude? 
TJ: Nope. He's just being an annoying ash-hat. 

 Devra: We are not quite getting anywhere, huh? 
Clyde: He needs to sense we're not here to throw him under the bus and get him killed. He needs to know we want to protect him. 
Devra: We can barely protect ourselves, Clyde - 
Clyde: We do alright, I reckon. No one's dead yet, and there's certainly been opportunity for it. 

 TJ: We just gonna ignore the possibility he'll go in there and try to escape from us because we're trying to pry answers out of him? 
Devra: He would be foolish to do that. You will chase after him with your long legs and abs. That is the word? 
Clyde: Yep, that's the word - 
TJ: Oh jeez I can't outrun him if he gets a head start. 

 Xavier: Arrgh this stupid house doesn't have any windows in the bathroom! 
So damn stupid! Ugh! Let me the hell out! 

 Clyde: Anyone hear anything? 
Devra: Not a thing, Clyde, not a thing. I have blocked out the noises of urination because it is frankly unappealing to hear, all that trickling and splashing - gracious, no. 
TJ: Yeah I'm a loud one in the bathroom, so you'll be glad you ain't bunking with me then.
Devra: Again, I have blocked myself to it -  

 Clyde: Oi! He's trying to get away! 
Devra: This is your big moment, Timothy! 
TJ: Of course it is. 

 Clyde: Make us proud, Tim. Make us proud. 
TJ: Ugh, he's real strong you guys. 
Clyde: Don't let him overpower you. 
Devra: I suppose I can try my best to contain him if our hope is lost on our friend Timothy over there. 

 TJ: Don't move an inch or I knock your lights out, pretty boy. 
Xavier: Get...get...off me. 
TJ: Once you promise to trust us, and to help us, sure. 
We're not here to throw you over the cliff, dude. We don't want to protect London Howard for a damn second. 

Devra: Well, I think things are working in our favour now then...terrific. 

Clyde: I worry this is not enough. TJ, threaten his nuts again! 
TJ: Oh he knows they sit in the danger zone. 
Clyde: Good work, comrade. Get over here so I can give you congratulations. 
Devra: He is perhaps a little too preoccupied for that. 

 TJ: Yeah, I got the bodyguard on my side now. 
Should we grab out one of the kitchen knives, threaten to dig it into his side? Be a little dark and Halloween friendly, huh? 
Clyde: Good to see you getting into the spirit of it. 
TJ: Yeah, who the heck couldn't? You get to be murderous for the why nots. 
Clyde: I mean murder is still a crime on Halloween...

Devra: Okay, sexy man, lead us to London Howard. 

Xavier: I do not know where she is - ouch, that hurt. 

TJ: I can twist the other nipple too. Where is she? 

Devra: We must uncover her secrets tonight. 

.

.

Bradley: So, what have you been up to lately, Diane? 
Diane: This is not a small talk visit, Bradley. I came solely to help you all in this quest to find London, because I hope to find her too. 
But beyond this...I have been considering adoption. 
Bradley: Woah! That's so exciting, Miss White! 
Diane: I suppose it is. Now, follow me, things may get spooky down here...

Jocelyn: I'm glad we're not discussing...this. 
Diane: You got singed, darling, it happens - 
Bradley: Yeah, exactly - 
Jocelyn: Well it completely ruined my costume and I feel burnt up a bit but I guess I may as well face anything now, after almost dying - 

 Bradley: You didn't almost die - 
Jocelyn: Oh...didn't realise you were with Diane now, not taking my side anymore - 
Bradley: I...I am sorry, I didn't mean it like that. 
Jocelyn: I know. 
I can't believe those cowards stayed outside. 

Diane: Right this way. If I recall, the Howard tomb should be right beyond this corner. It is a small burial place, the Howards don't die very often. Notoriously long-lived, they are. 
Jocelyn: Any presence of occults in their family then? Are they vampires? 
Bradley: Vampires aren't real - 
Diane: They are, Mr Martinez. I have met a few in my life. Werewolves, too. All very real. Halloween should merely confirm that. 

Bradley: What, hairy men are beasts? Mermaids exist? Aliens?! 
Jocelyn: I swear we've watched reality shows that prove their existence. 
Bradley: I'd have to meet one in person then. 
Jocelyn: Oh of course. Because this creepy full moon isn't proof. 

Diane: I can call a few of my friends for tea if you must meet then, but that can wait. Tonight belongs to London Howard. This way, please. 
Jocelyn: Right behind you, Diane. 
Bradley: Yeah! Let's go grill this old lady for answers! 
Diane: Hush. You might just wake the dead too.  

Marsha: Moi cinn barleh shee. 
Ted: It is very dark indeed, Marsha, perhaps we should have gone inside just to be able to open our eyes and not glimpse straight to this mortifying darkness. I am afraid my glasses do not help me now. 
Marsha: Thit eees shahm, Teddular. 
Barroh mahne tan? 
Ted: Oh no, I shall be alright. 

 Ted: Marsha, where are you off to now? Did you want to head inside the scary catacombs after all? 
Marsha: Moi jest nahds eh wilk, moi theenks...
Ted: Do not stumble off too far into the darkness, Marsha, I may lose you. I would not like the idea of losing you tonight. 
Marsha: Moi weel beh fahne...

Ted: Marsha...you have walked not far from me, and I can see you are...oh, Marsha, are you crying over there? 

Marsha: NOOOOON! 

Ted: I am coming over, oh no, I almost tripped on a root, that would not have been good, I must say. I would have hurt myself, and maybe I would need the hospital, who could say? 

 Ted: Marsha - Marsha, did you know the deceased? 
Marsha: Non...moi ees oohcee, prahmees. 
Ted: You are crying, Marsha, and I hate to see you in such a distress. Who is buried here? I cannot read the name in this darkness...Joanna? John? I have no idea, I'm afraid. 
Marsha: Eees naht teh nim...

Marsha: Ewe theenk moi weel ahveer beh fray? 
Ted: I do not understand what you mean, you are free, Marsha - 
Marsha: Non, non, moi ees naht. Moi hash gast fromme pahste, cinnaht eescappe 'er, baht moi naht winnte tah 'scapp 'er. Moi weent tah fahovor beh een 'er imms, snaggheeled. Ewe...ewe dahnt knuw...
Ted: I am unsure, that is true, Marsha...

 Marsha: Lipme tahll ya sicreet, Teddular - 
Ted: What is this secret you are hiding, Marsha? 
Marsha: Eerma nahveer wintahd teh keel ush...eet wash oaks. 
Sea ees traheen teh mick theenjs butteer. Cinn moi trahge? 

Ted: Oh my heavens. This is...well, this is news indeed, Marsha, you should have told me sooner! 
Marsha: Ewe hat 'er neew, whay dew ewe cirr? 
Ted: I was upset with the Irma that tried to slaughter us, but I do hate Irma! I want us to trust her. I want to be back there with her. 

Marsha: Cimme ahn, Teddular, leets gah! 

Ted: I hope she is not depressed to be left alone for so long. 

Marsha: Moi leeft 'er fahd end dreenk - 

Ted: Marsha. Irma is a Roboot. She doesn't have a hunger like we do. 

_____________

Clyde: Your tip does not seem to be a fake, Xavier. Thank you. 
Xavier: You must remember what you have promised or I will come and chop off pretty sexy boy over there's balls. 
TJ: Dude says he'll chop off both...he got game. 
Devra: Boys, shush. Or I will kick you from this fine establishment. 

 Alfa: Get the hell out, all of you. 
Devra: Now that is no way to talk to a lady. 
Alfa: Xavier. Little bitch. I'll press the button that just shoots you down into the pit of alligators, hmm? I'm feeling trigger happy. 
Xavier: There are no alligators below, Alfa. That would be silly. 

 Clyde: Now listen here, punk. We know who sits behind that door. Miss London Howard, in the flesh. We ask you to give us a moment alone with her. 
I promise I won't have her throat slit. 
TJ: Yeah I put away the knife dude, no stress - 
Clyde: My associate never had a knife, do not listen to a word from him. 
Devra: I promise I was law-abiding, mister Alfa. 

 Alfa: No one sees London when she is down here, and perhaps that has been for a decent while, because there have been some...uncomfortable situations involved my boss and her company, but no one sees her now, no one will see her tomorrow, no one will see her. 
TJ: Ever? God, is she depressed in there? Is she chewing on her arm or something? 
Alfa: She is sorting things out. I ask you all to leave. 
Thank you for showing your support. 

Devra: Terrific, the door is open.

TJ: Look at her, suddenly breaking the laws. 

Clyde: You go, Devra! 

Devra: I will be back out in a moment, Alfa sir. 

Alfa: NO YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE COME BACK SHE DOESN'T WANT VISITORS
COME BACK
COME BACK OUT RIGHT NOW OR SHE WILL HAVE YOU SENT TO PRISON FOR LIFE TRUST ME I HAVE SEEN IT HAPPEN - 

 TJ: Hush now, little boy, Devra won't harm a single hair on her head, she only wants to have a little chat about time travel and being a mess and all that sort of fun stuff, I promise, it'll be fine. 
Clyde: Timothy here is correct. Devra only wishes to say hello, have a chat, and move on with things. 
TJ: Maybe jab a fork in her eye for good luck, we'll have to wait and see. 

 Devra: At last. 
Hello, London. 

Devra: At last we meet again. 

 Jocelyn: So this old hag...has to be London's grandmother, right? 
Bradley: Faking the mourning? Faking all that? 
Jocelyn: London...could she truly be dead all this time? 
Bradley: No one has seen her...who can say? 

Diane: Hello...my name is Diane White...we know you come here often, to mourn the loss of someone dear to you...hello? 

 Devra: Turn around to face me. Hello, London, dear, it is Devra Eden. 
Do you remember us? The misfit toys you straddled with your experiment and left to wander aimlessly in this world, in this life, so fresh and different to the world and life we had grown used to? Do you remember us? 
Or have you thrown us to the dogs, to be torn apart in a week or so, because simply the experiment failed and we are torn at the limbs...London Howard! Turn to me! 

 'London': Is this what you wanted, Devra Eden? A one on one with the one who changed everything for good? 
Devra: You...you're not London...I would recognise her anywhere...her face haunts me, whenever I think of my home..
'London': Whatever do you mean? Of course I'm London Howard. 

 Diane: Excuse me...could we talk for a moment? 
Bradley: Hey, what if she's deaf? Or mute? What if she's a ghost too or something? Like she doesn't see us? 
Jocelyn: No, no, it can't be that...look, she's moving! 

Diane: No...it can't be....
Bradley: What, does she have glass eyes? Is she covered in blood? 
Oh, okay, it's not that, damn. 
Jocelyn: Let's move a little closer...
Diane: London...

London: Oh it has been a forever in months since I have seen your face, Miss Diane White. 
Diane: You have been the Old Hag in Grey all along - 
London: I have been, indeed. London Howard was dead for a time. To give me the breathing room, of course. 

Diane: I cannot believe you...
London: I stand before you dressed in grey, staring at the coffin that is claimed to be mine, but is truthfully my grandmother's...she lived such a wonderful life. 
Diane: And you spit on it - 
London: Not at all. My grandmother was like me. She was - 

Diane: You are psycho, Miss London Howard, and thus your grandmother must have been too. I have heard it is genetic, to be ambitious and powerful and crazed, that it flows from the veins of one family member to another...it is why I have been stuck with my father's temper...
Jocelyn: Diane...
Bradley: I don't know what to do - 

 London: I...I am sorry, I have made some grave mistakes - 
Bradley: Haha, punny, good choice - 
London: I cannot mend the wounds I have caused. I know this. 
Perhaps it was stupid of me to pretend I could be someone else. 

 Clyde: But...why did she do it? Why did she get you in here? 
'London': First of all, my name is Elizabeth. London came to me, because we had been close friends some years ago, before she had made a name for herself. I had hoped she merely hoped to reconnect, or to involve me in a project she was working on, because I thought I had the skillset she was after. Well...that part was true. I could become her, and nobody would notice. 

Clyde: Nobody would notice...
Elizabeth: I have no family, no friends, no nothing. I was hopping town when I could, I was living life on my feet, I had been for as long as I could remember. 
TJ: That...that sucks...I wouldn't wish that on anyone, damn. 
Clyde: So why did she go underground...London? 

 Elizabeth: She made a series of mistakes, and after her stint on reality show Zero Privacy, she was becoming worried her name would never be out of the headlines. At every 'reunion' she attended, people would ask about her life, and she would crack, thinking about how many people she ruined. 
I suppose it got too much, and she couldn't bandage up her ruin, so I became the back of London's head, and she became the Old Hag in Grey...

 London: And rightfully, you find me a monster. Because I have made the fatal errors of my career that have stranded me on some island, and of course no helicopter, not even my person helicopter that has been out of use for some time now, can save me. I am a monster, and I have no idea what I have even done to get these Hunt or Be Hunted people stuck here, but it has been my doing, because I kept pushing for revolution...

Diane: I cannot say what would have happened if you had stayed in the spotlight, if you had tried your best to better things. I have no idea. 
But you are too old to hide. You are ageing, London, one day you will be wrinkly and an actual old hag in grey, and then you will have time to reflect - and I hope you can now move forward and better things. Or else perhaps I will murder you one day.

 Jocelyn: Ha! Can you imagine, Diane committing murder? What is this, season one of Jetset? I don't think so - you missed that boat, Miss Diane White! Ha! 
Bradley: I don't know, maybe she - 
Jocelyn: You're joking! Diane is innocent! 
Bradley: But if she had flames on her face...who can say? 

___________________

 Clyde: Well, there you are, London Howard - 
London: I have had the lectures, and the screams, and the tricks. I have understood where I am gone wrong. You do not need to set any more bear traps at my heels - 
Devra: We...we were not intending on such. We will forever cast our blame on you, London, but...perhaps we can forgive sometime. 

London: You truly mean that? 
Devra: My life is certainly better here, in this town. I have no worries. I have no stress for the future of my kingdom. I have a lover...well, I suppose I did. He has not responded for some time. 
London: Oh, Devra...I do wish you all the best. 
Devra: Thank you, London. And another thing: somehow, and this is beyond me, none of us do seem to have stable occupations...what is that about? 

 Clyde: It was a pleasure searching for you tonight, London. 
London: I...I suppose it is a thank you, for finding me, setting me on the right path. Do thank Diane when you see her again. 
Clyde: That will be some time. Diane has decided on a lengthy vacation, and when she returns, perhaps she will be ready for a child. 
London: Exciting news!

 London: I must bid you farewell, for now. If I ever do happen to stumble into the pair of you again, or you end up deciding to sue me, then, it will be nice to see friendly faces once more. Goodnight, Devra, Clyde. 
Clyde: Quit your job, London. 
London: You are the psycho! 
Devra: Lead a graceful rest of your life and good will come your way. 
Be charitable. Change your destiny. 

.
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Jocelyn: Mummy looks terrible, doesn't she? Mummy was singed, so she looked like this for a lot of the night? Not a good look, huh? 
Bradley: Stop scaring our kid, please. 
Jocelyn: Fine, I will go shower, I was planning on doing that anyway, but I needed to see him first...I missed my little boy. 
Bradley: I know...it's been a long night. 

Bradley: Mummy needs to go shower, she looks horrible and she stinks, huh? 
Jocelyn: Hey! Don't complain to Jamie about me! 
Bradley: It's our banter, he has to get used to it. 
Jocelyn: Go to sleep, Brad. 

.
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TJ: My back hurts, Greta. 
I miss you.

Dustin: Happy Halloween, babe. 
Did you miss me? 

Clyde: Oh yep damn I missed you so much holy hell let me quickly take all of this off because I need to be right there with you good lord you are so incredible sexy how did I end up with someone so incredibly sexy as you? 

Gosh. I'm out of breath already. 

___________________________________________

Credits

Tiger, for Giles, Izzy, Grape, Greta, Chanel, Diane & London

Yannik, for TJ, Ben & Dustin

Lo, for Devra

Penguin, for Clyde

Twiddle, for Irma

Vul, for Marsha

Turner, for Ted

The Singing Simmer, for Jocelyn

Alleen, for Bradley

EA, for Ella, Xavier, Alfa, Elizabeth

Happy Halloween everyone! 

Hope you had a spooktacular October, and I hope you enjoyed the eleventh episode of Outside the Target! The mystery of London Howard's disappearance, whether you cared or not, has been uncovered. What is in store for our former houseguests when we return for episode twelve? Who can say? 

Have a wonderful day, stay safe, and I'll see you all next time! 

Boo! I'm a ghostly tiger ~