Here is the tenth episode of 'Outside the Target', titled...'Past Tents'...
*a laugh track echoes through the set of an old-timey sitcom*
Marsha: Hoonaigh! Moi ees homme!
*hahahahahah*
Marsha: Oi, hawe moi hash meest ewe, bootifal homme!
Ewe heevnt ahged eh diy!
*hahahah*
Clyde: Long day at work, sweetheart?
Marsha: Oi ewe is hahlarous, Clood! Eet wash eshaasteen. Moi ees as fleet ash rock!
*hahahaha*
Clyde: Come and sit down, Marsha! Take a load off!
Marsha: Ewe know...eet tacks mahnteens tah geet sahm oold feelahs ahf teh grahnd...tey lahk birteen cahws!
*hahahahah*
Clyde: Is that right? Oh my!
Marsha: Ah looooove mah sitcahm fahmly!
Moi cin cahmplin 'bout 'im ahl diy!
Clyde: Watch out, they might just complain about you right back to you! You can't be such a tease, Marsha, my dear - people don't always honest bulls!
*hahahahah*
Marsha: Ewe ees sahmply funneh!
Nawh, sey, ees Babeh crahwleen entah wills ageen?
Clyde: He never stops!
*awww hahahaha*
Devra: Oh, hello there! I am Princess Devra, I did not see you there!
I have been visiting for the summer, to see my dear long-lost cousin, and oh boy! This place is so fascinating! You have such a thing as 'cars'...and they drive around...and they don't require horses! You still do have to feed the creatures, and they do not eat very nutritional liquids...but to travel without kicking a horse! And do not even get me started on microwaves! I have tried a burrito!
*hahahahaha*
Devra: Oh my what is happening to me here?
Clyde: My cousin! You are back once more! What did you discover today?
Devra: Oh Clydey...I have to tell you about photo booths! I found one in the city, and oh boy! To have my picture taken so simply and then it is printed so neatly on a piece of card, and you have such a memento forever!
Marsha: Oi thet ees cahmen! Ewe ees sah bickwids, Preenciss!
Clyde: Backwards! Marsha, she's family, don't call her stupid!
*hahahahaha*
Marsha: Oi oh non, bit cahd sea tahl teh deefreence batweehn ah maahcroweave 'nd ah talaphane? Oi non!
Devra: I know what a telephone is, dear. Heavens sake.
Devra: Oh noes! Did I accidentally try to call my mother with the microwave this morning?
Marsha: Ewe deed, silleh!
*hahahahah*
Devra: Oh silly meeeee!
God sake this can't be real.
Greta: Oh it is real alright!
Devra: Greta?! You crept up on us!
Marsha: *gasp* Moi wash stahteeld 'alf tah deeth!
*hahahahah*
Greta: I have been here all along!
Marsha: Baht...whey?
Greta: Isn't it a surprise when someone jumps up from behind the sofa to make a point and give everyone a heart attack? Hahahaha
*hahahahaha*
Clyde: I am frightened, indeed!
*hahahaha*
Marsha: Ewe shald nit doo these...baht cahm seet, Greetah.
Clyde: We were just catching up with Devra - oh, she is amazed with this world, she can hardly believe it exists!
Devra: help us.
Greta: I had the funniest day, you'll never guess!
Clyde: Tell me!
Greta: I want you to guess! Come on, try! Guess for me!
Clyde: But I'll never get it, you said that.
You said, hehe, I'll never guess your funny day!
You said, hehe, I'll never guess your funny day!
Greta: well essentially these homeless people, at the end of a wild holiday all around the world with the love of my life, decided to blackmail me so that they could get all they desired because I was just trying to be a good person - I'm a good person, yes it's true - and so they've started to blackmail me, right, by kidnapping my sister! like omg! anyway, now I have to settle to their demands or else my sister will be shot dead and like...oh my god! so much drama, so much tension, it's all so so funny!
fuck my life.
Jocelyn: Omigosh! Hehe!
Clyde: And the loveable couple returns!
Marsha: Heelah heyy Joshelan and Bradleh!
Bradley: We were at the pier, and a seagull stole her corn dog!
*hahahaha*
Jocelyn: Oh my god I can't even picture it again! It snatched it right up and flew off with it, and I said "hey not fair, seagull, get your own corn dog!" But it just kept flying off with it, and Bradley leaned in and kissed me and said "can you taste mine on my lips?" And I could!
Jocelyn: Oh I love you, Bradley Martinez.
Bradley: And I love you. Smooch smooch, kiss kiss, passionate make-out sequence, oh a big pity most of the rest of you are single and alone, or your relationships are not as exciting as mine and Jocelyn's!
*hahahahaha*
Jocelyn: You are hilarious!
Devra: none of this is real.
Ted: Honey, I'm home!
Marsha: Oah mah gooodniss, thet wash moi beet!
*hahahahaha*
Ted: Greta minds think alike!
Greta: oh you didn't make a mistake it's a pun with my name, so funny!
*hahahaha*
Ted: You wouldn't believe what just happened to me!
Greta: I'm starting to believe a lot of shit.
Ted: I was in the laundromat, washing my shirts, hiding away my whities, and guess who I ran into! Guess!
Devra: can people just talk please?
Ted: You wouldn't believe who it was!
Marsha: Moi ees nahveer sartain...oi mah, wash eet -
Ted: It was! She is back in town once again, and I invited her for tea!
Marsha: Ewe deed! Moi hash meesed 'er!
Ted: I thought so! It's such a small world!
*hahahaha*
Devra: Is this the smartest move, after everything she has done to you, that you did not ask for?
Ted: Oh I am sure everything will be splendid! Here she comes now!
Marsha: Sah eeesaiteen!
Producer: Roll the title sequence!
IT'S THE IRMA ROBOOT SHOW!
WITH ALL YOUR FAVOURITE FRIENDS: MARSHA, TED, DEVRA, CLYDE, GRETA, BRADLEY, JOCELYN, AND EVEN BABY JAMIE!
*CHEER!*
Greta: I hate this place now.
*hahahahahahaha*
Greta: I change my whole mind. This place is torture.
Producer: That isn't your line!
*hahahahaha, so funny!*
Irma: Hello little baby...my, you must be hungry today, why has no one fed you? I happen to have something here...
Bradley: Is she back for good then?
Ted: Well, this is her show now!
Marsha: It's the Irma Roboot Hour!
Irma: Here cowplant, cowplant!
Come eat this tasty snack!
Greta: wait where the hell is Tim?
Irma: Cowplant! Cowplant!
You've failed me, you lump, they're not dead.
Greta: why isn't TJ here?
Devra: Who isn't dead? You have something here called holograms and it means people can live forever, huh?
*hahahahaha*
Jocelyn: Oh no it's Jamie's stuffed giraffe! My son is a cowplant!
Irma: There are bigger fish to fry!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
Jocelyn: Oh my goodness! Is everyone alright?
TJ: Jesus, Jocelyn, no, everyone isn't alright, this is like the battlefront and people are almost dying over here, read the room.
Bradley: Dude -
TJ: Sorry. This is all tense.
Greta: I'm glad you're caring, babe.
TJ: Ha, I don't care...I'm just mad Jocelyn doesn't -
Greta: Sure, sure -
Jocelyn: Both of you, shush...Marsha?
Marsha: Sea ees roboot...naht deed...jahst shetdahn fah beet.
Greta: Okay, good...gives us time to move her someplace safe, away from the two of you...
Ted: We're not locking her up in prison again! I couldn't do that to her again, knowing now she...she wanted Marsha dead.
TJ: I don't think we have a damn choice, Ted.
Jocelyn: We...we can make the cell nicer, for her.
Marsha: Moi...moi wahld leek tah knaw wheey sea cim afteer ush...whey deed Irmie wahnt moi and Tedday deed?
Ted: I have no idea, Marsha...we need to move her before someone notices.
Marsha: Halp meh.
Ted: Of course. Careful of her important wires and such.
.
.
Ted: I have no idea, Marsha...we need to move her before someone notices.
Marsha: Halp meh.
Ted: Of course. Careful of her important wires and such.
.
.
TJ: Good, you're awake.
Irma: Why am I behind bars again, little thief?
TJ: You are the bigger criminal here, so shush, and stay in your cage.
Irma: You cannot keep me here, someone will come for me and they will do more to you than just keep you behind bars.
TJ: Oh I'm so scared.
Irma: You should be. I am back with the people who care for me. They will do what is needed to put justice to all this.
TJ: Oh, the people that care for you? Because everyone here was so horrid and locking you up the first time was silly and pointless? You are ruthless, Irma.
Irma: I am not.
TJ: You've gotta stop trying to kill people.
Irma: It is something I have protocol to do.
TJ: Ain't that shitty protocol then.
You're a threat, Irma, and we're keeping an eye on you before you try to kill Marsha, or anyone here, or my girlfriend! God.
Irma: I will think of something, TJ.
I will not stay behind these horrid bars.
.
.
.
Greta: I'm already hating this day. It's, what, eight o'clock, and I can't open my eyes without seeing my sister in chains, screaming about how she's missing Holly Alto singing "Tonight You Belong to Me" to her infant or the latest news from Gay Love Island.
That's painful, knowing your sister is out of habit. I want to race to find her, but then they might just kill her. I don't know what to do.
Devra: Today will go smoothly, I know so. Because I trust you, Greta.
Greta: Ain't that a shitty thing to do.
Devra: I do not think so. *she sighs* I know you have made mistakes in the past, and you weigh them on yourself, but...you are smart, Greta, and you know what to do, in the end.
Greta: In the very end...maybe...when the world is swallowing itself.
Devra: You helped us when we ended up here with nothing. You brought us out of that nothing, established this place, and we've been...well, we have been okay. Not worse off.
Greta: I know, you're right...
Greta: I just wish I'd stop getting myself and you all into these stupid postions. Like...why did I think helping homeless people would go smooth when I couldn't even sell a reality show right!
Devra: The new hosts must have been the smoothest of talkers...
Greta: Oh, god, they were. You know, I almost fell in love with both of them, wanted to jump on them by the end of things...would've been a murderer threesome.
Devra: You have not murdered anyone, Greta.
Greta: I haven't - oh, are you sure? Jamie and...fuck, I can't remember her name...those two died because I started hosting and somehow time travel and game travel happened and...what the hell is my life?
And where the hell is London Howard when you need to sue her ass?
Clyde: I'd like to know the same.
Greta, they're here.
Greta: Already? I thought they were coming at nine.
Clyde: They came early. Couldn't wait. Something about couches that didn't smell like piss.
Devra: They are not going in my bedroom.
Greta: Don't worry, they won't. They get to come into the main area, and that's about it. Clyde - tell them I'll be down in a minute.
Clyde: Will do.
Greta: Let's make some deals to get my sister back, shall we?
..
Greta: Oh yay they are here, was hoping for a second it would be a prank situation and Bradley jumped out with one of those party whistles...nope.
Jade - I thought I had another hour?
Jade: That was the original plan, Greta, but they were impatient and essentially demanded I come here...I mean, I had to demand the old gentleman put shoes on first, but here we are. Sorry about this, Greta -
Greta: It's okay, Jade. Thank you for at least keeping them out of Devra's building.
Jade: I just told them not to move. Surprisingly, they listen...sometimes.
Greta: I see some of them opted for a cleaner look....
Jade: Rosemary jumped at it. Practically reinvented herself. The others...less successful. Elias, well, at least he took a bath and found a pair of shoes he didn't hate.
Greta: And you didn't tend to Cyrus' wounds?
Jade: He wouldn't let a soul touch him - wait, want me to chase Rosemary?
Greta: She wants an ice cream then...
Jade: Want me to stop her?
Greta: Hmm...I think that'd be a little harsh, don't you think?
Rosemary: I haven't had ice cream in years!
Greta: Make sure the man in the van is paid, and tipped, shows we care and just in case Rosemary says anything to him that may offend...just in case.
Jade: Of course.
But out of all of them, Rosemary is the most innocent.
She just wants to be off the street.
Maybe even away from Elias.
Jade: Oooh, strawberry with sprinkles! Yum!
Rosemary: My...my father would've never splurged like this, ice cream. He...he's a stubborn man...and I wish he hadn't done this to such nice, normal people...thank you, again.
Jade: Of course. We're here to help.
Rosemary: I bet you get so excited to see your paychecks, Jade...
Greta: How about we head inside? Get down to what you came here for: your future.
Cyrus: As long as you don't try to blow dry me as we enter, sure.
Greta: I'm not about to force you to do anything, Cyrus.
Elias: Lead the way, Miss Francis.
Irma: I don't need a babysitter. I am not a child, I am not even human.
TJ: Not keeping a close enough eye on you last time was a big mistake, psycho killer.
Irma: I was sent to exterminate. You would call on the same for mice, and cockroaches. Yet you lock me away.
TJ: Real nice. I'll tell Marsha and Ted you called them rats.
Irma: They are not rats. They are friends to the Irma of the past.
The one they washed clean. She was...how do you say...vulnerable, in the human sense.
TJ: Oh right...best to just shit all over emotion. That their motto?
Anyway...I've gotta go help Greta.
Irma: So you will leave me right alone then?
TJ: Oh, never.
Irma: I cannot bend these bars, you know. I am harmless from in here, of course, that is what you hoped for. Leave me alone for an hour, even.
TJ: What are you, some imitation hypno-frog?
You've got another guard now.
Ted: Good morning, Irma. How was your sleep?
Irma: Ted. You are supposed to be sleeping.
Ted: What a pleasanton greeting.
I do hope we can have a nice chat today, Irma.
Then, when my shift ends, you can keep talking.
To Marsha.
Irma: Bring her in now -
Ted: See, what would be the purpose of that? You may reach for her throat again, Irma...no, I want to chat to you alone first.
Just you and I.
Irma: Shall I brew a pot of tea?
Ted: I am worried I will spill it on you, Irma.
___
Greta: Okay, everyone settled in? Thank you for agreeing to meet here -
Jade: Really it was the better plan, rather than some meeting room.
Greta: Definitely. It's more welcoming here, in my dining room, just so we can hash everything out and settle this.
Elias: It really is a nice home. Is this the offer, then?
Greta: Ha, of course not, we've got...we've got housing set up for you all, I promise you that.
Elias: And no funny business? We're not spouting lies about your sister -
Greta: No funny business.
Rosemary: It really is a nice place, Miss Francis.
Greta: Please, call me Greta...and thank you, we're proud of it.
Rosemary: I would be too, I've never been to a house with so many different buildings before, like a little village.
Greta: *she smiles* That was our plan.
TJ: I see we have some company. Good to see you all, I expect Greta did the whole "this isn't where you're staying, we've got units lined up" speech.
Greta: Tim! Glad Clyde gave you the memo, sorry they got here early.
TJ: No sorry at all! I'm glad they're excited.
Greta: Yeah...exactly!
God you're chipper this morning. An act, babe? Keep it going please...
Cyrus: We expect more than just a roof, you know that. You offered to help, and we need more than blankets, and you have the kindness to offer -
Greta: Well, yeah, I guess I do have the kindness...
Cyrus: Your sister is close by.
Greta: God I hope she's in that ice-cream truck that's still parked outside.
TJ: And be damn thankful you're getting stuff, please, because you didn't exactly go the decent path to get here, so yeah, c'mon, be nice.
Cyrus: Do you want a matching set of scars, Timmy?
TJ: No, I think you want an open wound in your gut.
Cyrus: If I go down, you do too, cutie-pie.
Greta: Shush. Quiet, both of you.
Now...I'm willing to give you what you ask for, as long as we all win.
Then maybe in a few days we can have a birthday party for Rosemary.
Rosemary: You remembered...
Greta: I want this to be smooth and easy so we can return to normal.
Because please I miss all the comedy.
Elias: You know, I did hear there would be an available building soon on this lot...say, we've been discussing, we would be comfortable enough sharing the one building - hey, all?
Jeannie: Well...you promised me a bedroom of my own, but I could settle here...
Elias: It would be better for us, to have people we know close by.
Charmaine: I have to agree.
TJ: And who the hell offered up their house to the lot of you then?
Charmaine: Calm down, no need to anger -
Elias: It was the lovely couple waiting out in the hall.
We overheard. Nosy homeless people.
Greta: Yep. Those two. Of course.
Ugh. One moment, please.
Jade: Greta just has to step out for a moment.
Would anyone like something to eat?
Greta: Are you enjoying eavesdropping?
Bradley: Oh we're not doing that, I wouldn't even know how to drop onto eaves - I mean, I'm not a secret spy agent, you know...
Greta: Oh I know, 'cause you're terrible at it.
Jocelyn: We're not listening in, trust us -
Jocelyn: I was getting myself something to drink, and...and I was gonna make something for Bradley too, see, we're just getting something to drink -
Bradley: What she said.
Jocelyn: Oi!
Bradley: What? That's what we're doing! Getting drinks...that's why we came down to the kitchen, I was just supporting you -
Greta: You two, outside, now.
Jocelyn: My coffee is gonna go cold!
Greta: I'll make you another. Charmaine can have that one. Jade?
Jade: On it, Greta.
Greta: So you're planning on moving out then? Just thought you'd offer it up to the people threatening to kill my sister?
Oh I'm a bad person, huh?
Jocelyn: Can you let us speak first, Greta?
___
Ted: Best you choose not to just sit in silence, Irma. Own up to your actions, and we may move on forward - of course, you must break all ties to the people you claim brought you back to your purpose.
Irma: I could not do such a thing, you know this.
Ted: Do I? Am I a murderous robot too? I would never have known.
Irma: Say I could reunite you with your wife, after all this time. Say, maybe you forgot about her, because...well, I did that. Slowly made your feelings for her vanish. To keep you happy, of course.
Ted: That is...that is horrible of you, Irma.
Irma: But say now I can reunite you.
Without a second, you wouldn't hesitate to return to her and forget about your life here. Yes?
Ted: You are in no position to offer ultimatums.
Irma: But I am. I came back with an ultimatum - you were supposed to die. Now, of course, I can see I chose the wrong time.
Ted: You chose the wrong people to try to murder, Irma.
Marsha and I are strong. We have made ourselves so.
Irma: It is funny, the journey of our relationship, how we...well, how the past me interacted with the both of you. It is funny, and we laugh, ha ha ha, we will laugh when we are old, or when I am old, but you will always choose to see me as a monster out to destroy everything.
Ted: Would you like me to forgive and forget?
Irma: I would like you to fight back, better than this.
Actually try to overcome me, Ted.
Ted: You know that is not the type of person I am.
Irma: But why not? Because you were born out of smiles, laughter and pleasantries? You must know no person can be the embodiment of pleasant, but somehow you pretend to be.
Ted: It is in my name, Irma.
Irma: Roboot is in my name and yet somehow the weaker past of mine showed I could become less of one.
Ted: Why expel that, then? The human parts of you?
Irma: Because...because it made me vulnerable...and they found me again. When I am in peak form, they trust in me. I need that trust, else I get rebooted again, and again, and again.
Ted: You managed to avoid them for a while last time.
Irma: And it almost shut me off, Ted.
Irma: You humans do not understand. You are not someone's property. You are not owned. You are free, and your freedom is dangerous. You corrupt.
Ted: The ones that control you are the corrupt ones, Irma.
Irma: You would believe that...the targets always do.
Ted: We should be outside of targets now, Irma.
Ted: You can change, and you can feel the things us humans experience, but you must trust in us, and we...we can find a way to tear you from their grasp.
Irma: I am afraid that is not an option, Ted. I was sent here to destroy the links to the weakness, and you and Marsha will be severed.
Ted: You have no pleasant bones left, do you?
____
Greta: Okay, I want to hear it. Bradley, are you thinking of leaving and just dumping that building to blackmailing psychos?
Jocelyn: Real nice to ignore me.
Greta: I want to hear from Bradley. I know your answer.
Bradley: Well, we've been considering -
Jocelyn: This isn't the place to raise Jamie -
Greta: But he has a family here, really...and you have a separate house -
Jocelyn: Let me speak, please...I know he has a family here, but we're not cutting it out...we just want our space, Greta.
Greta: I...I get it. All this mess doesn't help.
Bradley: We...well, I...wish I could help out more there, but I...we genuinely don't know what's happening anymore.
Jocelyn: She's gotta get her sister back, is all I know.
Greta: I do. I can't let anything happen to her.
Bradley: We hundred percent understand that, too...
Greta: Jocelyn...I know we haven't had the steadiest of pasts, but that is the past, and I don't want our conversations to turn sour every time I open my mouth...so if you want to move on, I'll help you pack. Not so I can cheer after. So I can help.
Jocelyn: That's...that's really nice of you, Greta.
Greta: I'm supposed to be the best damn host I can be, huh.
Jocelyn: But I don't actually want homeless people to crawl up into the bed we once laid in...no thanks, can we get them out of here?
Greta: Oh I plan on it, shouldn't be too long.
Bradley: Everything must be in order then...
Jocelyn: Yeah...but I've got an idea to sweeten things.
Greta: What now? Don't tell me you're gonna offer to buy them a year supply of groceries or something? I'm not made of money -
Jocelyn: No, no, I don't want to give them more, that's just plain stupid.
Greta: Tell me, please, I want my sister back.
*Jocelyn unfolds her plan*
Bradley: I think that might actually work, babe.
Jocelyn: I know right, I'm a genius.
Greta: Only one way to find out. I pitch it back in there, and we see how the dice roll. Coming in, Jocelyn?
Jocelyn: This is your battle to win. Not mine.
__
Greta: Thank you again, all of you, for meeting with me today -
Elias: It was important for us too, Miss Francis -
Greta: Yes, of course. I trust Jade has laid out more of the details while I stepped out.
Jade: I said a few things, yeah.
Elias: We were curious about the neighbours at this new place, we assumed it was not in the middle of nowhere and that there would be people to interact with - what will they know of us?
Greta: Not too much, Elias, not of your past.
Elias: And you have not soured them of us just yet?
Greta: I haven't blackened your name, Elias.
Cyrus: We wouldn't want to come back here after our neighbours call us dirty homeless freaks, would we?
Greta: Well, you won't be homeless at least -
Cyrus: But we would still be freaks, is that what you imply?
Greta: I didn't imply anything, Cyrus -
Greta: This is all so frustrating.
Elias: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Greta: I said this shouldn't be like this, okay, why the hell is this being filmed and broadcast all over the world? I shouldn't have to deal with criminals when my lawyers can just sue your broke asses and take back my sister, cause we know her fucking location, you idiots.
Jade: Greta...careful.
Greta: It's alright...I've got this.
Jade: Okay, I trust you.
Greta: Good. I don't need to fire you.
Greta: I know you wouldn't actually kill my sister, because all of this is on tape, and you can kiss your freedom goodbye if you even lay a hand on Chanel.
So, no, you won't reach for...I don't know, a homing pigeon, or an owl, however the hell you send signals, because you can bet whatever I end up giving you today that any wrong fucking move will land you worse than before.
Are you all stupid? No...you follow your leader.
Elias: Miss Francis -
Greta: Quiet down, old man.
I will give you a house, sure, but it will never be a home.
I will give you furniture - very basic stuff - but they will not ever be your possessions. You choose to threaten my life, so I take charge of yours.
Cyrus: Elias, she can't do this shit -
Rosemary: Miss Francis -
Greta: Rosemary? How can I help you...
Rosemary: Can I use the bathroom, please?
I need to pee, and I don't want to just squat here and go.
Greta: Of course. Jade, show her to the bathroom down the hall.
Jade: It's just through this door, and then the door at the end of the room. Mind the bright colours...this is Marsha's living room, she's quite...eccentric.
Rosemary: Oh, it must be nice to live this side of the rainbow...
Jade: Is everything okay, Rosemary?
Rosemary: Of course...
Greta: Now, you'll get what we've promised you, but it won't come for free -
Charmaine: We have nothing to give -
Greta: Well, you have my sister, for one. But what I mean is...you need to get jobs, you need to make an income, you need to not spend it all on whatever the hell you would have just dreamt of. Or else I'll evict you.
TJ: And I won't hesitate to kick you all right onto the footpath, maybe even call the police, who knows, might be feeling cheeky.
Elias: Are you not worried what we may do?
Greta: Do you not notice the cameras, Elias?
TJ: Now wake up to yourself out of that boss-man ego and let boss-lady Greta here go to her sister.
Jade: Hey, everything alright in there?
Rosemary?
Rosemary: Yeah, uh...I'm okay...I'm okay.
I'll be...I'll be out in a...in a minute.
___
Irma: It remains on the table, Ted. My offer.
Ted: I have no way of knowing you would keep that promise of yours. I have no trust in you at this moment, robot.
Irma: But you want to go home? You want to be free of me?
Ted: I want many a thing...but I am comfortable not siding with those who threaten me.
Irma: We can call it a compromise.
Ted: Because it is effectively disposing of me, then -
Irma: I have returned to expel the past. You are Irma's past, Marsha is Irma's past. They have told of my future...I will be moved to Barnacle Bay.
There is another reality show for me to oversee.
Ted: Then you will be far from us here. Then you can let us live our lives, happily, content, no need to expel us.
Irma: They believe it would be best the past is left where it belongs - in the past. If you remain alive...it is possible past Irma will long to return to you.
Ted: Then let her return.
Irma: It is not permitted...
Ted: If it is not permitted...then you should remove yourself from their grasp, now, before they expel us themselves.
Irma: You are idiotic, Ted -
Ted: You are not yourself anymore...I cannot bear it.
But my time with you is up.
Irma: Ah. Well, I will see you later, then, Ted.
Ted: Then perhaps you will have reconsidered trusting in the people that keep wiping your memories and your emotions.
Irma: We shall see. Likely not.
Hello, my dear. Marsha.
Marsha: Ewe wahnteed moi deed.
Irma: Present tense, Marsha. The motive has not changed since last night.
Marsha: Ewe ees mahnsteer thin! Ahnce...ahnce, ewe 'er ah freend...naht innymah...
Irma: Those were vulnerable days, Marsha.
Irma: You see, we are not all born the same. We are unique - I am not human, I am not meant to have weakness. I came to Hunt or Be Hunted with my instructions, and...and something shifted within me, an oversight. I had become too close to humans, humans with weaknesses.
They have patched me up, not to worry. They have promised me I will never be close enough to have regrets again.
Marsha: EWE TRAHD TAH KEEL MOI!
Irma: Settle down, Marsha. I am behind bars now.
Marsha: THIT DUSH NAHT MEETAH! Ewe cahn rahch thrah ind scweesh moi thraht. Moi...moi ees wahteen -
Irma: And now do you accept your fate? In the comfort of privacy...
Marsha: Moi...moi naht went tah dee...baht ah cinn espact eet...
Irma: I am proud you fought back last night. Irma had noted down that she thought you physically weak...but you fought well.
Marsha: Moi dees naht went tah dah.
Irma: That has been assumed, and noted. You have much you seem to live for.
Marsha: Moi...moi wahnts tah beh sahmplice ahse.
Irma: I cannot offer you freedom...for I am in a prison of my own...right here, of course. And I must have you expelled anyhow.
Marsha: Moi...moi wash eespahhllded wonch…moi deed naht lahk eet.
Pless, Earma...pless.
Irma: Free me, then, from this prison.
Marsha: Moi...moi cahldeent...Teddular wahld...heh wahld keel moi...
Irma: Come on, Marsha! Free me! Free me!
Marsha! Do not be the bad guy!
Marsha: Ah moi geedness!
Irma: Do not be the bad guy, Marsha. Free me.
Marsha: Moi geedness, moi geedness!
Irma: My goodness...it seems you have missed me.
That wig was getting itchy.
Marsha: Moi ees 'ere tah peefahm neither sahng.
Ees cahld 'Eees-o-ees'. Eend eet gahs leek theesh...
You're a threat, Irma, and we're keeping an eye on you before you try to kill Marsha, or anyone here, or my girlfriend! God.
Irma: I will think of something, TJ.
I will not stay behind these horrid bars.
.
.
.
That's painful, knowing your sister is out of habit. I want to race to find her, but then they might just kill her. I don't know what to do.
Greta: Ain't that a shitty thing to do.
Devra: I do not think so. *she sighs* I know you have made mistakes in the past, and you weigh them on yourself, but...you are smart, Greta, and you know what to do, in the end.
Devra: You helped us when we ended up here with nothing. You brought us out of that nothing, established this place, and we've been...well, we have been okay. Not worse off.
Greta: I know, you're right...
Devra: The new hosts must have been the smoothest of talkers...
Greta: Oh, god, they were. You know, I almost fell in love with both of them, wanted to jump on them by the end of things...would've been a murderer threesome.
Greta: I haven't - oh, are you sure? Jamie and...fuck, I can't remember her name...those two died because I started hosting and somehow time travel and game travel happened and...what the hell is my life?
And where the hell is London Howard when you need to sue her ass?
Greta, they're here.
Greta: Already? I thought they were coming at nine.
Clyde: They came early. Couldn't wait. Something about couches that didn't smell like piss.
Greta: Don't worry, they won't. They get to come into the main area, and that's about it. Clyde - tell them I'll be down in a minute.
Clyde: Will do.
Greta: Let's make some deals to get my sister back, shall we?
..
Jade - I thought I had another hour?
Greta: It's okay, Jade. Thank you for at least keeping them out of Devra's building.
Jade: I just told them not to move. Surprisingly, they listen...sometimes.
Jade: Rosemary jumped at it. Practically reinvented herself. The others...less successful. Elias, well, at least he took a bath and found a pair of shoes he didn't hate.
Greta: And you didn't tend to Cyrus' wounds?
Jade: He wouldn't let a soul touch him - wait, want me to chase Rosemary?
Jade: Want me to stop her?
Greta: Hmm...I think that'd be a little harsh, don't you think?
Rosemary: I haven't had ice cream in years!
Jade: Of course.
But out of all of them, Rosemary is the most innocent.
She just wants to be off the street.
Maybe even away from Elias.
Rosemary: My...my father would've never splurged like this, ice cream. He...he's a stubborn man...and I wish he hadn't done this to such nice, normal people...thank you, again.
Jade: Of course. We're here to help.
Rosemary: I bet you get so excited to see your paychecks, Jade...
Cyrus: As long as you don't try to blow dry me as we enter, sure.
Greta: I'm not about to force you to do anything, Cyrus.
Elias: Lead the way, Miss Francis.
TJ: Not keeping a close enough eye on you last time was a big mistake, psycho killer.
Irma: I was sent to exterminate. You would call on the same for mice, and cockroaches. Yet you lock me away.
Irma: They are not rats. They are friends to the Irma of the past.
The one they washed clean. She was...how do you say...vulnerable, in the human sense.
TJ: Oh right...best to just shit all over emotion. That their motto?
Anyway...I've gotta go help Greta.
TJ: Oh, never.
Irma: I cannot bend these bars, you know. I am harmless from in here, of course, that is what you hoped for. Leave me alone for an hour, even.
TJ: What are you, some imitation hypno-frog?
You've got another guard now.
Irma: Ted. You are supposed to be sleeping.
Ted: What a pleasanton greeting.
I do hope we can have a nice chat today, Irma.
Then, when my shift ends, you can keep talking.
To Marsha.
Ted: See, what would be the purpose of that? You may reach for her throat again, Irma...no, I want to chat to you alone first.
Just you and I.
Irma: Shall I brew a pot of tea?
Ted: I am worried I will spill it on you, Irma.
___
Jade: Really it was the better plan, rather than some meeting room.
Greta: Definitely. It's more welcoming here, in my dining room, just so we can hash everything out and settle this.
Greta: Ha, of course not, we've got...we've got housing set up for you all, I promise you that.
Elias: And no funny business? We're not spouting lies about your sister -
Greta: No funny business.
Greta: Please, call me Greta...and thank you, we're proud of it.
Rosemary: I would be too, I've never been to a house with so many different buildings before, like a little village.
Greta: *she smiles* That was our plan.
Greta: Tim! Glad Clyde gave you the memo, sorry they got here early.
TJ: No sorry at all! I'm glad they're excited.
Greta: Yeah...exactly!
God you're chipper this morning. An act, babe? Keep it going please...
Greta: Well, yeah, I guess I do have the kindness...
Cyrus: Your sister is close by.
Greta: God I hope she's in that ice-cream truck that's still parked outside.
Cyrus: Do you want a matching set of scars, Timmy?
TJ: No, I think you want an open wound in your gut.
Cyrus: If I go down, you do too, cutie-pie.
Now...I'm willing to give you what you ask for, as long as we all win.
Then maybe in a few days we can have a birthday party for Rosemary.
Rosemary: You remembered...
Greta: I want this to be smooth and easy so we can return to normal.
Because please I miss all the comedy.
Jeannie: Well...you promised me a bedroom of my own, but I could settle here...
Elias: It would be better for us, to have people we know close by.
TJ: And who the hell offered up their house to the lot of you then?
Charmaine: Calm down, no need to anger -
Elias: It was the lovely couple waiting out in the hall.
We overheard. Nosy homeless people.
Ugh. One moment, please.
Jade: Greta just has to step out for a moment.
Would anyone like something to eat?
Bradley: Oh we're not doing that, I wouldn't even know how to drop onto eaves - I mean, I'm not a secret spy agent, you know...
Greta: Oh I know, 'cause you're terrible at it.
Jocelyn: We're not listening in, trust us -
Bradley: What she said.
Jocelyn: Oi!
Bradley: What? That's what we're doing! Getting drinks...that's why we came down to the kitchen, I was just supporting you -
Jocelyn: My coffee is gonna go cold!
Greta: I'll make you another. Charmaine can have that one. Jade?
Jade: On it, Greta.
Oh I'm a bad person, huh?
Jocelyn: Can you let us speak first, Greta?
___
Irma: I could not do such a thing, you know this.
Ted: Do I? Am I a murderous robot too? I would never have known.
Ted: That is...that is horrible of you, Irma.
Irma: But say now I can reunite you.
Without a second, you wouldn't hesitate to return to her and forget about your life here. Yes?
Irma: But I am. I came back with an ultimatum - you were supposed to die. Now, of course, I can see I chose the wrong time.
Ted: You chose the wrong people to try to murder, Irma.
Marsha and I are strong. We have made ourselves so.
Ted: Would you like me to forgive and forget?
Irma: I would like you to fight back, better than this.
Actually try to overcome me, Ted.
Irma: But why not? Because you were born out of smiles, laughter and pleasantries? You must know no person can be the embodiment of pleasant, but somehow you pretend to be.
Ted: It is in my name, Irma.
Irma: Roboot is in my name and yet somehow the weaker past of mine showed I could become less of one.
Irma: Because...because it made me vulnerable...and they found me again. When I am in peak form, they trust in me. I need that trust, else I get rebooted again, and again, and again.
Ted: You managed to avoid them for a while last time.
Irma: And it almost shut me off, Ted.
Ted: The ones that control you are the corrupt ones, Irma.
Irma: You would believe that...the targets always do.
Ted: We should be outside of targets now, Irma.
Irma: I am afraid that is not an option, Ted. I was sent here to destroy the links to the weakness, and you and Marsha will be severed.
Ted: You have no pleasant bones left, do you?
____
Jocelyn: Real nice to ignore me.
Greta: I want to hear from Bradley. I know your answer.
Bradley: Well, we've been considering -
Greta: But he has a family here, really...and you have a separate house -
Jocelyn: Let me speak, please...I know he has a family here, but we're not cutting it out...we just want our space, Greta.
Greta: I...I get it. All this mess doesn't help.
Jocelyn: She's gotta get her sister back, is all I know.
Greta: I do. I can't let anything happen to her.
Bradley: We hundred percent understand that, too...
Jocelyn: That's...that's really nice of you, Greta.
Greta: I'm supposed to be the best damn host I can be, huh.
Greta: Oh I plan on it, shouldn't be too long.
Bradley: Everything must be in order then...
Jocelyn: Yeah...but I've got an idea to sweeten things.
Jocelyn: No, no, I don't want to give them more, that's just plain stupid.
Greta: Tell me, please, I want my sister back.
Bradley: I think that might actually work, babe.
Jocelyn: I know right, I'm a genius.
Greta: Only one way to find out. I pitch it back in there, and we see how the dice roll. Coming in, Jocelyn?
Jocelyn: This is your battle to win. Not mine.
__
Elias: It was important for us too, Miss Francis -
Greta: Yes, of course. I trust Jade has laid out more of the details while I stepped out.
Jade: I said a few things, yeah.
Greta: Not too much, Elias, not of your past.
Elias: And you have not soured them of us just yet?
Greta: I haven't blackened your name, Elias.
Greta: Well, you won't be homeless at least -
Cyrus: But we would still be freaks, is that what you imply?
Greta: I didn't imply anything, Cyrus -
Elias: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Greta: I said this shouldn't be like this, okay, why the hell is this being filmed and broadcast all over the world? I shouldn't have to deal with criminals when my lawyers can just sue your broke asses and take back my sister, cause we know her fucking location, you idiots.
Greta: It's alright...I've got this.
Jade: Okay, I trust you.
Greta: Good. I don't need to fire you.
So, no, you won't reach for...I don't know, a homing pigeon, or an owl, however the hell you send signals, because you can bet whatever I end up giving you today that any wrong fucking move will land you worse than before.
Are you all stupid? No...you follow your leader.
Greta: Quiet down, old man.
I will give you a house, sure, but it will never be a home.
I will give you furniture - very basic stuff - but they will not ever be your possessions. You choose to threaten my life, so I take charge of yours.
Cyrus: Elias, she can't do this shit -
Greta: Rosemary? How can I help you...
Rosemary: Can I use the bathroom, please?
I need to pee, and I don't want to just squat here and go.
Greta: Of course. Jade, show her to the bathroom down the hall.
Rosemary: Oh, it must be nice to live this side of the rainbow...
Jade: Is everything okay, Rosemary?
Rosemary: Of course...
Charmaine: We have nothing to give -
Greta: Well, you have my sister, for one. But what I mean is...you need to get jobs, you need to make an income, you need to not spend it all on whatever the hell you would have just dreamt of. Or else I'll evict you.
Elias: Are you not worried what we may do?
Greta: Do you not notice the cameras, Elias?
TJ: Now wake up to yourself out of that boss-man ego and let boss-lady Greta here go to her sister.
Rosemary?
I'll be...I'll be out in a...in a minute.
___
Ted: I have no way of knowing you would keep that promise of yours. I have no trust in you at this moment, robot.
Irma: But you want to go home? You want to be free of me?
Ted: I want many a thing...but I am comfortable not siding with those who threaten me.
Ted: Because it is effectively disposing of me, then -
Irma: I have returned to expel the past. You are Irma's past, Marsha is Irma's past. They have told of my future...I will be moved to Barnacle Bay.
There is another reality show for me to oversee.
Irma: They believe it would be best the past is left where it belongs - in the past. If you remain alive...it is possible past Irma will long to return to you.
Ted: Then let her return.
Irma: It is not permitted...
Irma: You are idiotic, Ted -
Ted: You are not yourself anymore...I cannot bear it.
But my time with you is up.
Ted: Then perhaps you will have reconsidered trusting in the people that keep wiping your memories and your emotions.
Irma: We shall see. Likely not.
Hello, my dear. Marsha.
Irma: Present tense, Marsha. The motive has not changed since last night.
Marsha: Ewe ees mahnsteer thin! Ahnce...ahnce, ewe 'er ah freend...naht innymah...
Irma: Those were vulnerable days, Marsha.
They have patched me up, not to worry. They have promised me I will never be close enough to have regrets again.
Irma: Settle down, Marsha. I am behind bars now.
Marsha: THIT DUSH NAHT MEETAH! Ewe cahn rahch thrah ind scweesh moi thraht. Moi...moi ees wahteen -
Irma: And now do you accept your fate? In the comfort of privacy...
Irma: I am proud you fought back last night. Irma had noted down that she thought you physically weak...but you fought well.
Marsha: Moi dees naht went tah dah.
Irma: That has been assumed, and noted. You have much you seem to live for.
Irma: I cannot offer you freedom...for I am in a prison of my own...right here, of course. And I must have you expelled anyhow.
Marsha: Moi...moi wash eespahhllded wonch…moi deed naht lahk eet.
Pless, Earma...pless.
Marsha: Moi...moi cahldeent...Teddular wahld...heh wahld keel moi...
Irma: Come on, Marsha! Free me! Free me!
Marsha! Do not be the bad guy!
Marsha: Ah moi geedness!
Marsha: Moi geedness, moi geedness!
Irma: My goodness...it seems you have missed me.
That wig was getting itchy.
Ees cahld 'Eees-o-ees'. Eend eet gahs leek theesh...
Marsha: *singing* Whaar eer teh hippeh dis, tay sim sah herd tah feend
Moi treed tah rich feer ewe, beet ewe hivv clahsted ewe meend
Wheeteever hippeented tah eear laave? Moi treed tah rich feer ewe, beet ewe hivv clahsted ewe meend
Weesh moi ahndastooded...
____
Jade: Don't force yourself up, Rosemary.
Rosemary: I'm...I'm okay, I promise...
Where am I?
Jade: It's a, uh, little cabin in the woods. Don't worry, I'm not here to murder you, Greta would never forgive me. I'm just...I'm keeping you safe, is all.
Rosemary: I...I was safe with them -
Jade: I doubt that.
Don't worry, Greta knows you're here too, and she agrees it's the best decision.
Marsha: Eeet yahsed tah beh soooooo nich, eet ewesd tah beh sooo gahd
Sah ween ewe nid moi nawh, babeh cint ewe 'ear moi
eees - o - eeees
Sah ween ewe nid moi nawh, babeh cint ewe 'ear moi
eees - o - eeees
Marsha: whin ewe gooone
Greta: when you're gone...
how can I even try to go on?
Marsha: whin ewe gooone...
Greta: when you're gone...
how can I even try to go on?
Marsha: whin ewe gooone...
Marsha: thaaaw moi tray, hiw caaan moi goo inn
Ewe sim sah feer weigh, thigh steendin' raght 'ere
Ewe mahd moi fell life, sahmteen deed moi fear....
Ewe sim sah feer weigh, thigh steendin' raght 'ere
Ewe mahd moi fell life, sahmteen deed moi fear....
Marsha: Moi reeleah trahd teh mick eet aoht,
weeesh moi ahndeerstahd
whit haaapeeend tooo ushh, weh ewesd teh bee sah goooooood
weeesh moi ahndeerstahd
whit haaapeeend tooo ushh, weh ewesd teh bee sah goooooood
Marsha: Sah weeen ewe neh moi, babeh, cintt ewe 'ear moi
EES - O - EES
teh lahve ewe geve moi, nutheen ahlse cald siv moi
EES - O - EES
Greta: Oh thank god you're okay Chanel.
Chanel: No, I do feel like shit, and they cut my hair - god-damn psychos, please don't let me be kidnapped again.
Greta: I'll try my best, aha. I will.
Chanel: Thank god you came for me.
Marsha: whin ewe gooone
hah cinn moi ehvan tray too gah ahnnn
whin ewe gooone...
thaaaw moi tray, hiw caaan moi goo inn
Greta: I wouldn't have let them hurt you, you know that.
Chanel: Please I need to go home now I hate it here...
but...gosh I missed you, Greta.
Greta: I've missed you more. Trust me.
Chanel: Please I need to go home now I hate it here...
but...gosh I missed you, Greta.
Greta: I've missed you more. Trust me.
_________
TJ: So, the girl is rescued. Is she alright?
Greta: Chanel will live, she's tough, even though she doesn't always look it. You know, she complained about her toe nails walking out here, as she kicked up the dirt.
TJ: Sounds about right. She'll need a fresh paint back at the house then.
Greta: Yeah...
TJ: What's up, babe?
Greta: I, uh...I can't come back with you to the house.
I've gotta take Chanel home, and then I'm not wasting any more time away from her...I've gotta quit this in front of the camera life for a bit longer.
TJ: And then you'll be back to me?
Greta: I have no clue. It's been such a rush, this whole thing, this whole show, but...I've gotta settle down a bit more, I think, and that starts with being with my sister.
TJ: You ain't dumping me, are you? Cause that's a dog move -
Greta: I couldn't ever say goodbye to you...but for now, I'll be with my sister.
Devra: Everything alright in there, TJ?
TJ: Peachy, peachy keen.
And how about you, Devra? How are things?
You holding up good? Your life not just a serious of weird steps?
Devra: I am okay, but...but I worry about you.
How she keeps leaving you behind...
TJ: Couples survive long distances, Devra. Gosh.
I can manage. God.
I'll be fine.
Clyde: He'll be okay, Devra...let him have some time alone.
Devra: I must admit...I do not want to him alone now, or ever -
Clyde: Somewhere inside of us we really do care for him, you know...
Devra: He's one of us. Part of our past, present, future.
All that.
Jocelyn: Gosh you're such a cutie, Jamie, huh -
Bradley: He's our boy. And god I love spending every day with him in our life.
Jocelyn: How is everything down there?
Bradley: It's over, I think. They left a little while ago, off to their new houses somewhere, and we'll forget about them in a few days.
But Greta isn't coming back here, it seems..
Jocelyn: She won't be here to help us move...
Bradley: She's with her sister, spending time with her -
Jocelyn: And I'd...I'd just started to like her...
Bradley: Well, steps in the right direction, hey.
Jocelyn: Come on, Jamie - come to mama.
Bradley: Do you wanna keep looking at places?
Jocelyn: Yeah...of course.
But, maybe not in Hidden Springs...I almost feel like a complete change.
____
Rosemary: I'm...I'm okay, I promise...
Where am I?
Rosemary: I...I was safe with them -
Jade: I doubt that.
Don't worry, Greta knows you're here too, and she agrees it's the best decision.
Rosemary: W-why?
Jade: Because you're pregnant, Rosemary.
__________________________________________________________
Credits
Vul, for Marsha
Penguin, for Clyde
Lo, for Devra
Tiger, for Greta, Chanel, Elias, Charmaine, Cyrus, Jeannie, Rosemary
The Singing Simmer, for Jocelyn
Alleen, for Bradley
Twiddle, for Irma
Yannik, for TJ
EA, for Jade (Ria Gade, originally)
Penguin, for Clyde
Lo, for Devra
Tiger, for Greta, Chanel, Elias, Charmaine, Cyrus, Jeannie, Rosemary
The Singing Simmer, for Jocelyn
Alleen, for Bradley
Twiddle, for Irma
Yannik, for TJ
EA, for Jade (Ria Gade, originally)
And we're back! I hope you all enjoyed this episode.
On the next episode of Outside the Target...it's Halloween! and a mystery may finally come undone when Clyde becomes more determined to find out the truth..
Stay tuned!
On the next episode of Outside the Target...it's Halloween! and a mystery may finally come undone when Clyde becomes more determined to find out the truth..
Stay tuned!
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