Hunt or Be Hunted: A Sims 4 Reality Show: Outside the Target, Episode Fourteen: Reality Television

Outside the Target

Episode Fourteen: Reality Television

Teala: We're in the gorgeously mysterious Moonlight Falls, and tonight, twelve contestants embark on a new adventure: do they have what it takes to identify the Sneakiest Spy? Yes, you've seen The Mole, but this is not that - moles are none of my business. I only know sneaky spies, and will you too?

Can you find the culprit before they walk away with more money than ever before?

Teala: The contestants are making their way to the location that was given to them - this small little wood cabin on the beach, where their first mission will begin once the sun sets. For now, the first two contestants have arrived...will they start being suspicious of each other already? Is the Spy already in the building, or are they about to cross the threshold any minute?

Luke: This is it, hey. Are you the spy, mate?

Damien: Oh - uh - I couldn't say, I couldn't say.

Teala: Contestants will want to bank money for the prize pot, and they can do so in the missions - but any money that is not successfully grasped will slip from their grip and end up in the tricky hands of the Spy. So, be careful, contestants - someone among you is determined to make bank, and I doubt they will be the only one to sabotage.

Devra

"I suppose I have returned to the world of reality television then, properly. I'm Devra Eden, naturally, and you would remember me from the second season of High Hopes. Or perhaps you watched Outside the Target. Or perhaps you follow me on social media. Nevertheless, here I am. Am I the Spy? Wouldn't you like to know?

This is a new experience for me, but I will be on the hunt once more, and Devra Eden will expose whoever is trying to sabotage, you best believe."

Devra: Hello, it's nice to meet you -

Luke: You're familiar to me?

Devra: Devra Eden. But please, I am entirely new to this game.

Luke: As am I. I'm Luke, seems like we're all starting to come in. Guessing a mission must be starting soon. This can't be our house.

Luke: Unless, of course, there's a secret spy door...

Devra: You would know, if you're the Spy.

Luke: That'd make your win nice and easy hey! Man, I'm not giving you all the clues right off the bat.

Devra: It was indeed worth a shot. Don't go backstabbing me, Luke.

Araceli

"You know, you come into a game like this with one thing on your mind. Where are the clues, the signs? How can I figure out who is purposefully hiding their tracks in plain sight, and who is sabotaging because it's a fun time? Because it is. If I see the opportunity, if I see a little crack I can slip in almost unnoticed - of course I'm going to do what I need to do to stay in this game. A game called Sneakiest Spy? Implies you're not the only one in the trenches, trying to get the information you need."

Teala: The contestants continue to arrive at the shoreside cabin, awaiting the final contestant, and of course, awaiting their host...

Savannah

"Savannah Harkness. I wouldn't call myself a super fan, but this show has been on my radar for quite a while now, if you get what I mean. I know what to expect from it, I guess, and I'm not here to see myself with that red screen so early on I've barely made a dint in the bank. I'm here to win - whatever it takes, as they say. Will I make enemies for saying that? Maybe. I'm comfortable with the idea of an enemy. Someone to stand off against. That's why we're here, isn't it? Because we want to catch whoever is lurking in the shadows."

Ezra: So, Damien, eh? What do you think the first mission is? Expecting they'll shove us into an elevator, which opens out onto the roof, and there's, what, a slip-and-slide there?

Damien: Oddly specific. I, uh, doubt that. We're at the beach, but the sun's going down. It'll be too dangerous to swim -

Ezra: Oh, will it? You really think -

Damien: You're a daredevil type, I could tell.

Confetti: Hi there! Can I sit beside you while we wait?

Christine: Oh, sure, hun, take a load off. I've got a feeling we're about to be doing a lot of physical and mental labour, I should check if this bar is stocked.

Confetti: Oh! None for me though!

Christine: You don't drink - gosh, are you even old enough, love? No, no, you just have a wonderfully young face. Not taking on the time like mine.

Confetti: I'm just - well, purposefully sober. I'm 24. But I don't like alcohol. I won't stop you though, I know it might help you far more than it does me.

Christine: Sounds like you've got a steady head on your shoulders, hun.

Christine

"There's always one older woman, huh. I just don't want to be such a disappointment. But I don't want to come on here all pretending I'll be the strongest older woman to ever come on, and hell I'm not even that old - nothing wrong with a woman in her 40s. Gosh, I've put my foot in it already. Someone like me can win this game, Spy or not the Spy. The other contestants don't need to know everything about me, and that will help me out, I'm sure. If I go down, I go down - can't say I didn't try."

Ulysses: Evening, gentlemen.

Fredrick: Hey, hey, I'm Fredrick. Beside me is Ragnar, apologies he is...a little distracted at the moment, I just informed him I am one of the most accomplished ballerinos in the country.

Ulysses: That is incredibly impressive, I am convinced telling you both of what I do for a living will be...bleakly unexciting.

Ragnar: You demean yourself for certain!

Ulysses

"Of course I will be hiding what I do for a living. I'm responsible for proving artworks that come for my inspection are not fakes, frauds - one could say, I am sorting out the truths and the lies on a daily basis. Artworks and humans are different, of course, but I have my own methods of spotting the frauds. Maybe I will be able to transfer this knowledge to the game, or maybe not. The contestants around me will be ever-evolving throughout the game - and so will I. I've come to win, because who hasn't?"

Ezra: I'm whooping your ass, boy.

Fredrick: You are a stylist? Have I seen any of your work somewhere?

Ragnar: Perhaps. I'm not so renowned as you say you are, it was a career change that was long overdue. But the human body is the perfect canvas for art, and designing is such a passion of mine.

Damien: Aaaaand you just missed blocking that point!

Araceli: Nathalie, was it?

Nathalie: It was. I feel so strange, waiting around for whatever is about to happen next.

I'm just waiting for someone to go, "Contestants, I'm waiting outside for you. Please come and stand around me so I can tell you about your first mission" -

Teala: Contestants, thank you for gathering inside. Your first mission awaits you, if you could all gather outside in front of the fire pit. In front of me, I should say.

Your host for the season.

Teala: Hello contestants! The twelve of you have been selected for your cunning sense of sniffing out the undetectable - you will need this nose to find the Sneakiest Spy, who will be plotting all season to steal the money you could be earning for your pot, which currently stands at $0. Just to rub it in. You're starting from nothing, but you can never go into the negatives, contestants. The Spy can just continue to eat you alive.

Figuratively, of course. Money figures wise.

Teala: I am your host, of course, Teala Leaves-Tumble.

You will be seeing a lot of my face for the next however-long the season runs, so get used to me telling you how low the pot is - unless, of course, you prove to be a very successful bunch of contestants. Unlike last season - JESUS.

ANYWAYS!

Teala: Moonlight Falls from afar. But, contestants, you need to be paying close attention to it for this mission. Your aim is simple: you will be finding the lodgings that you will be staying at for the next few days, on foot.

But your mission is not as simple as searching out for the prettiest private property and knocking on the door - if you show up empty handed to the housewarming, you will not be adding money to the pot.

Teala: In four separate locations in the misty town of Moonlight Falls, housewarming gifts - which contain packages of money - have been misplaced. In teams of three, you will be tasked to find them - but to begin, you will only receive the location of your first clue. Today's mission is a scavenger hunt, of sorts. Once you find a housewarming gift - after having following the trail of clues - you will have the address of the lodge.

Teala: Every housewarming gift is worth $1,000 - so, for tonight's mission, a total of $4,000 can be added to the pot. Not a shabby start, considering you will likely be spending the rest of tonight frantically searching the town for answers. Of course, you will be scavenging for clues to who might be sabotaging, too.

And to be clear: the lodge will be in walking distance of the housewarming gifts, but you will no doubt be exhausted by the time you have an address. So, good luck contestants.

Teala: Your teams of three have been randomly devised, and you'll all be given the location of a different clue - from there, you'll follow your trail of clues. If you understand the clues correctly, this mission will be simple - but one wrong turn, and you will come up empty-handed, or you might just steal another team's clue, and sabotage the mission all from that one clue.

Contestants, for this mission, the teams are:

Teala: Christine, Luke and Ulysses - and here you go.

*Teala slips them a note*

It reads: head to the graveyard up the road, Team One.

Be fearful of the dead, and you will not find your next clue.

Teala: Fredrick, Araceli and Confetti - you are our second team of three.

*Teala slips them a note*

It reads: You best have the muscle for the journey. Head to the gym, contestants. There you will find your next clue.

Teala: For our third team, we have Ragnar, Damien and Savannah.

*Teala slips them a note*

It reads: head to the library to be studious, contestants. But it is not within a book that you will uncover your next clue - look to the moon.

Teala: And finally, our last team. Ezra, Devra, and Nathalie - you will be working together this mission. Here you are.

*Teala slips them a note*

It reads: There is sand underneath your feet now, but you stand on the wrong shore. Cross the river that meets the sea for your next clue, Team Four.

Teala: I wish you the best of luck, contestants. The mission begins...right now.

Luke: Come on slowpokes, we've got a mission to - complete? achieve?

Something like that! Let's hustle!

Christine: We'll be exhausted too fast if we - if we just run the whole time.

Ulysses: As she said!

Luke: We can take breaks, team!

Confetti: Do you think we'll have to work out to get the clue?

Araceli: Uh...somehow I doubt it. Where'd Fredrick go?

Confetti: I don't know everything, you know!

Araceli: I know, cutie pie - let's keep moving!

Confetti

"People always laugh because my name is Confetti. They say, that's not a real name, why is your skin kinda yellow, your hair looks like it should be on a cob of corn. Like I think I get that! It's on my head all the time.

Sorry, anyway. I didn't come here to prove something about people with naturally-yellow hair, or name's so unique like Confetti. You should see my sister.

I want to win and of course I do."

Confetti: Fredrick!

Fredrick: Polo! I'm over here!

Araceli: Why'd you go that way...mole behaviour.

Fredrick: What was that??

Nathalie: Gosh, girl, you can run fast in those heels -

Devra: The grace and poise of a princess -

Ezra: Spit in my mouth, they don't expect us to swim across, yeah?

Devra: What an unattractive way of wording that.

Can't you see the dingy?

Teala: The contestants are well and truly on their way toward their first locations - they must remember that although the first clues were relatively simple to work out, all succeeding clues will test their brain - it might just come in handy if you've ever had a chance to visit Moonlight Falls before...and one of our contestants certainly has, having lived here for six years.

Will they use this experience to aid or sabotage?

Luke: Keep this pace up and we'll be fine!

Luke

"I lived in Moonlight Falls for a while when my parents were working in town. I - I don't fully remember what their job was, but they worked together back then. About three years ago they called all that quits. But I've got a working memory, I think, of this town. Whether or not it comes in handy during the mission...we shall see, hey.

I don't think Moonlight Falls remembers me, though. At all. I feel the undercurrent of it. Strange thing to say, hey, 'bout a town."

Luke: Keep going, just over the hill I can see it -

Ulysses: Ahh, yes. There we go.

Luke: It's going to keep getting darker, so let's speed-run through the graveyard as fast as possible and hopefully find a clue for a building, you know, some place with a roof and actual lighting.

Luke: You managing alright, Christine?

Christine: A bit - a bit worn down already, but I know what I signed up for.

Luke: I'm thinking the hill should have been the worst of it.

Christine: Oh - I don't know the area at all.

Ulysses: There we have it. The graveyard. Cemetery. However you prefer to name it.

And the tomb. Are we guessing we'll have to venture deep into the catacombs to find this clue of ours?

Christine: I'm rearing to go if we need to.

Ulysses: That's the spirit.

Luke: I wouldn't be sure, I bet they lock the doors tight this late into the evening.

Christine: Producers would get it unlocked surely?

Luke: I can try the doors, but I think I see something.

Ulysses: What? The rise over there? It's not tombstone shaped -

Luke: Exactly. Squint through the mist and you'd see...

Christine: It's a mirror.

Ulysses: Burying someone with such a mirror would be like throwing away...well, probably, some amount of money if it was genuine and a fool wanted it.

Probably just a bargain buy from a thrift shop.

Luke: Yeah, all that - I'm going to investigate.

Devra: Absolutely necessary bathroom break time.

The team will find what we need while I relieve myself.

Nathalie: This girl...immediately disappeared as soon as we rowed the little boat to shore.

Devra? You in there?

Devra: *sigh* ...of course I am.

Nathalie: Okay - my bad, sorry, now I'm over here intruding on you.

Nathalie: Please lord, this better not be a sabotage already and she takes half an hour on the toilet. I can't handle that.

Devra: Are you talking to me still, darling?

Can it please wait?

Nathalie: NOT TALKING TO YOU DON'T WORRY HUN!

Nathalie

"I wasn't familiar with her when she introduced herself. I'm an avid fan of strategy shows like this one, but do you think I ever watched High Hopes? I mean, come on - there was barely any promotion for it, I guess, because it was never on my radar. And I don't like sitcoms that think they're funny and then do these elongated, depressing arcs that force you to suddenly need to pay more attention to understand what's going on. I just wanted to laugh! Is that so difficult?

Anyways. I don't know who Devra Eden is, but if she's the Spy, she's already acing it."

Nathalie: Anything near the shore, Ezra?

Ezra: Some sharp-ass shells. Nearly sliced my feet up.

Nathalie: ...aren't you wearing shoes?

Ezra: Yeah. Not the point. I've found nothing here.

Ezra

"I don't know where we're expected to find these next clues. I mean, what did our clue say exactly? We needed to cross the river, and then what? Dig up every square inch of the beach? Roll around and get sand in my hair? Strip me down naked and get a lunar tan from the glow while I'm at it?

I've already started keeping tabs on Nathalie and Devra. If one of them is the Spy, the first mission is their chance to screw me over and blame the vagueness of having not done one of these missions before. I'm watching."

Teala: A reminder: maybe the next clue is not as blatantly obvious as you might have hoped, but the contestants would do well to pay attention to their surroundings, and anything that might strike out as something interesting in the darkness.

Devra: *singing to herself* papa don't preach...I'm keeping my baby...

Or whatever the lyrics were.

Silly song, actually. Why's it stuck in my head?

Devra

"I could sabotage so simply. Become the princess once more, properly, with the invisible tiara. It would be the smoothest transition to suddenly never be of assistance to anyone - wait for everyone around me to add money to the hotpot, or whatever it is known as. I could skate on knowing indeed who is this Spy, tying their identity to my chest. Keeping hearted guard over it. But where is the fun, the thrill, of letting everyone do the work? Something I have become more knowledgeable of from some close to my heart friends of mine."

Devra: Was I half an hour?

Nathalie: I - I don't have a watch.

Devra: We shall go watch shopping then, sometime.

When we actually do have time, hun. Let's hustle now though - come on.

Fredrick: Should we all each take a corner of the gym and search it - well, someone will need to be responsible for two. I think that would have to be myself, then.

Confetti: I'm happy searching one corner, hehe.

Araceli: What if what we're looking for is outside?

Fredrick: Then we check outside later. But first...

Fredrick: Among the miserable few working out in public after dark...we need to find our clue. Please oh please be easy to spot.

Confetti: What if that man's hiding it in his trousers?

Fredrick: Then you ask for a peek. I like a daddy but he's sweaty by now.

Confetti: Yeah, ew, he will be.

Araceli: Hi, hello - do you know where we'd find clues?

Fredrick: Araceli -

Daydream: Uhhhh, clues? You a detective?

Araceli: Oh, no, no, we're in the middle of a mission for Sneakiest Spy - can you not see all the cameras following us?

Daydream: What, a detective can't have their own influencer TV show?

Confetti: what am I even doing here

Confetti

"Araceli had the brilliant idea to ask a TEENAGER for a hint. Has she even seen the show we're on? Or...is she doing all this on purpose? It could be anything. All I know is that when we arrived at the gym, she immediately started acting like a TEENAGER named DAYDREAM would be able to help us. DELUSIONAL.

I wasn't ever going to ask that man anything, by the way. Quickest way to look like an idiot on TV? Actually following through with whatever stupid thought is first in your little lellow head. Lemon-yellow, baby."

Fredrick

"It was maybe ten minutes into this challenge - telling time will absolutely never be my lover - and I was already like, if I have to work with these two for the entirety of this game...the Spy can come and shoot me."

Ragnar: Here we are, AT THE LIBRARY.

...right, the other two have not even crossed the road yet.

Ragnar

"I was hoping, praying, the other teams were having more success than we were. The entire trek from the beach to the library, little sweetness Damien complained about being tired and drained and ready for bed. You would think he had been awake for the full 24 hours before the show began - and perhaps you would be right. He asked us if we could call into a 24/7 gas station and buy him an energy drink. Do you think production gave me any money with which to buy anything? Be real, Damien. We're all exhausted.

But some of us are panting through it."

Savannah: Are you alright, Damien?

Damien: What - yeah - I am.

Savannah: I know we're walking a lot. It's a lot. And I can't speak for your circumstances...stuff like this, I've done it plenty, but you might not be comfortable with the whole "we've got a time limit" thing. Just - just think of what you will be achieving. I know, this isn't giving you the win on a silver platter. But if you give up now - people will be so very disappointed in us, Damien.

Dammit, the wrong advice.

Damien: I - I sleep now -

Savannah: No no no, don't -

Damien: I think someone drugged me -

Savannah: No one drugged you - I don't think so....

Damien: I am IN PAINNN!

Savannah: You have energy! I know you do.

Come on, we just need to cross the road, like good chickens, I guess. I don't know.

Please, work with me here, Damien.

Savannah

"This kid. I mean, he's sweet, and he's trying his best, but all that's a true sense of bullshit. Oh no, excuse my French! He's dragging us down already. I think he tripped on the air and decided to blame a snail, or something. Is this one of those shows where I can murder someone because my gosh, I will exterminate Damien first!

Then Ragnar has to go, because he'll be watching me do it.

Oh freak accident at the library, miss!

One step closer to the win, though.

Ragnar: They will catch up - aha! Look to the moon. That's got to be a moondial, a moon phase checker, a moon...something. Moon o moon, give me our next clue.

Devra: Hold on a minute -

Devra: Sir -

Nathalie: Let him be, Devra.

Devra: I just - I don't understand.

Ezra: Do you need to understand the complete nuttos? Like, dude's got a brain made of the wrong crossed wires, or whatever. Leave him to die by meteor shower.

Devra: I just - does he see himself reflected from eyes that are not his own?

Ezra: He probably doesn't have the damn time to!

Devra: Oh, he definitely does, yes sir - oh my man he's reading a book at the beach, he has all the time in the world. Yes, he does.

Nathalie: We need to be checking everywhere - including that shelter over there, you know, the one with the bright lights and the claw machines that are almost too obviously a part of the mission?

Ezra: Right on your trail, Nathalie.

Nathalie: I wish Devra would be.

Ezra: Classic Spy sabotage, that.

Nathalie: It well could be -

Devra: Not the Spy!

Nathalie: Then leave the man reading in the dark on the beach in soaking-wet clothes alone and follow us up this hill!

Ezra: Yeah, I'd call it more a dune, maybe.

Nathalie: I don't care what it's called!

Nathalie: And bingo. See that right there. Our clue, someone just needs to fish it out.

Ezra: May I?

Nathalie: If you stop panting just down the dune, you certainly can.

Devra: I cannot fathom it.

Devra: Umbrella, but it is not sunny anymore....

Drenched clothes...did you go swimming in your trousers?

Your eyes must be entirely blank by now.

Stranger: ...you don't see me telling you to shut the hell up.

Devra

"Now, what the actual - the audacity of a human man! It first makes no sense for him to be straining his eyes, giving himself pneumonia, at this hour - it makes no sense or logic or reason! I could not keep my eyes off this disturbance, truly. Shocking. I'm shocked. This is shocking news. OH! WHAT IS SHOCKING INDEED?!

This stranger on the beach had such a nerve to tell me to keep quiet?

I am having a shocking night. I will need to fan myself with the cash we find in our housewarming gift just to calm down."

Teala: As time in the dark ticks, the contestants need to be on the track of finding those next clues if they are going to find the others and arrive to the lodge with their housewarming gifts. Have there been sabotages already?

Can you spot the Sneakiest Spy?

Teala: We will be right back...

__________________________

FAST TIMES IN SIMNATION IS BACK IN FIVE...

FOUR....

THREE....

TWO...

Lucas Guss: Welcome back to Fast Times in SimNation. I'm your host Lucas Guss and we're down to six teams in this leg of our race. You remember last time our teams arrived here....

Guss: In beautiful Legacy Island. Their planes touched down last episode, and we said goodbye to one team - mother and daughter Lana and Cora. Now, our final six teams will complete the next leg travelling around the island before we bid adieu to another team. Things are becoming more complicated, tensions will run high, and will one team crumble under the pressure of a Rerouting? Let's find out.

Guss: Our teams will be departing from here. This dockside location could mean the teams will be boarding boats for their next venture...but they will not. But we're surrounded by water here, so the theme for this leg of the race certainly is inspired by the oceanic.

Guss: How is everyone feeling this morning?

I'm waiting for the coffee to run itself clean through my bloodstream.

Bethany: This is our leg to win, Pipes.

Piper: Uh...you say that every time, and we've only come second once.

Bethany: It's called BUILDING TENSION!

Guss: You all know what to expect by now. Highs, lows, slips of paper with the instructions. I'm ensured today's journey will test you like every other day has.

Doug: Let's just run already.

Guss: In Legacy Island, you'll encounter a number of variants. Swamps, beaches, city skylines, and humble suburban homesteads. This leg of the race will navigate you from this dock to an undisclosed meeting point, where I will be seeing off another team.

Doug: We're going to kill this, like we kill everything together?

Trenton: Of course.

Doug: You have my back?

Trenton: I will always have your back.

Trenton: Is there a reason he's stalling today?

Doug: He likes to hear himself talk?

Pauline: Well, he's got a buttery-smooth voice. Let him cook.

Hank: I...am choosing to just ignore that.

Guss: This will be a challenging day--

Bethany: As I said, got this in the bag.

Piper: Stop flexing like that.

Bethany: Is it unbecoming of a lady?

Piper: You're not a lady, hehe. You're a girly.

And when we come in fourth, you'll embarrass me again.

Guss: In a minute, I'll give you all your first location clue. Make your way there immediately, as fast as possible. Both team members will have to complete the challenge in order to receive the next clue and be able to make their way to the next challenge.

Scott: I'm stoked. Real stoked.

Darren: I'm going grey.

Scott: I feel confident coming into this leg. My brother and I have already proved we can work well together, and after coming in first place the last leg, we could see a string of, well, decent enough luck coming. You never know here.

Darren: Scott's just young and doesn't want to come off cocky.

Guss: And here's your clue:

Listen to the sounds. Earworms of a million grains.

Make your way on foot and you'll be regretting the hike.

Find the flames neighbouring serenity.

Jocelyn: *whispering* We need to get to the beach.

Bradley: We're already at the beach.

Jocelyn: *whispering* A different beach. We're on an island, there will be another beach, babe.

Bradley: Baby. You're right. Don't tell anyone.

Jocelyn: I don't plan on it. But surely you know how to whisper, babe?

Bradley: Only seductively.

Jocelyn: Well, flirt with me while you do it. One of these teams will hear where we're going and just hop into the car with us and we need a lead right now. I'm going to lose a bet I made last night with Darren.

Bradley: He's our enemy???

Bradley: Hello back home!! Your boy is still in the competition!

Jocelyn: He's excitable, huh. I'm laser-focused right now. There's only six teams left, which means one fumble and we could be behind Hank and Pauline, who either look like they're ready to fu--fumble, too, onto the ground or something, or murder each other for making googly-eyes at the host.

Bradley: Yeah, they're both hornier than me. It's kind of insane.

Guss: THE FAST TIMES ARE BACK ON ! Go, you good things.

Piper: Come on, Beth.

Malika: Dad, we have to legitimately bolt.

Marley: I'm coming, I'm coming.

Darren: We can't let anyone step on our toes this round.

Bethany: I want to step on toes :(

Piper: BETHANY HURRY!

Bethany: Why couldn't we just do The Circle again?

Piper: You were never on The Circle...I was though, hehe.

Scott: You know where we need to go, right?

Darren: Bro, were you not paying attention?

Scott: Of course I was! We were all in a line so I couldn't avert my gaze to look at the cute boys without being noticed by someone...

Darren: Get laid when we win, Scotty. Please!

And don't tell me a droplet about it.

Guss: And the contestants are off...our teams, now that they have all departed, will need to locate a certain spot on the waterfront, but they won't be able to reach it on foot. There, they will be greeted with their first challenge of the day. I hope they have not already burnt the energy on their feet, because they will be in for some flames.

Malika: Dad!

Marley: Your mother would soothe you in this moment, daughter. She would say, easy on your father, he is not familiar with being on reality television.

Malika: Sorry! Also, I can't believe you just shouted all of that without sounding crazy!

Marley: I'm right behind you.

Jocelyn: Good luck girls. *whispering* You'll need it...

Piper: Pardon me?

Jocelyn: I said good luck girls. We're in a competition, but I'm not a horrible person. I'm not the one who murdered the sims of two contestants who disappeared...

Tiger: Look, I made some overdramatic choices as a teenager. I'm so sorry. I'm improving as a person, slowly. I was born crazy.

Bradley: Fetch my car, valet!......always wanted to say that.

Malika: I'm not your valet, bub.

Bradley: I'm literally older than you --

Malika: But I saw how you were on Hunt or Be Hunted. You're not a show newbie like me, you have a reputation...it's mostly okay, though, you're not such a wild flirt with a wife and baby and all. How is Jamie by the way?

Bradley: People know too much about my life...

Doug: At least you have a life.

Bradley: ...what?

Doug: Nothing. I'm just single and miserable and alone.

Bradley: I could've sworn you were flirting with your roommate whenever the cameras cut off after every leg of this race...

Jocelyn: BRADLEY DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT ME.

Bradley: Babe, it's alright. I'm conversing with our rivals. The valet has fetched us the car and it is waiting for you, my princess.

Jocelyn: *VIOLENT VOMITING NOISES* Going to give myself a stitch too.

Jocelyn: Okay, let's get a move on. We need to go to another beach, not this one. I did some quick research and found a place called Serenity....Something...which is next-door to a beachfront....something...I was going so fast, I just pinned together the dots and formed a beautiful picture of our damned victory, we need a winnnnnnnnn.

Bradley: I love how hot you sound when you're competitive.

Jocelyn: Keep it in your pants, babe.

Piper: We've gotta follow them, Beth.

Bethany: We don't have a car.

Piper: Well they called the valet for one!! Can't we do something silly and illogical like that? Teehee. You know, this has been so fun so far. Running around the place with you, my very best friend --

Bethany: THEY'RE GETTING AWAYYYY!

Piper: You know, I've never really thought about it, but this has been such a different experience for me. The last time I was on a reality show, I was just sitting in a room trying to make invisible people like me enough to keep me - and I did a terrible job!

Bethany: I'm jealous I was just a picture.

Piper: Babe! You're right here now!

Bethany: Yeah. And we're losing :(

Guss: It looks like Doug and Trenton are the first to arrive at the location of the first challenge.

Doug: This looks like it should be the location. Keep an eye out for the signature green lights and we'll be golden.

Trenton: Follow me mister.

Doug: I'm right behind you...listen, we have a good chance at getting a lead here.

Trenton: I believe in us. I genuinely do. I know it is not always obvious. Sometimes I am not so obvious.

Doug: Oh, Trenton...we need to run!

Marley: You're almost speeding, Malika!

Malika: There's nothing wrong with ~almost~ speeding. I'm going the limit, I just saw a sign back there near that barn building. Do you think we'll be doing a sheep-shearing challenge in this leg? This is the first time we're near farmland.

Marley: Farmland that isn't overrun with dragons, sure.

Malika: My dad and I haven't been to half the places this show is taking us. Outside of the game, we don't travel too much together. He's on vacation with my mum here and there, and I go on little trips with some girls I've known since university, but together? It's not our usual. Together we go to the movies. Together we go to the beach. This is so thrilling for us. We're here on Legacy Island, and I haven't even heard of this place before. Is it even a tourist destination?

Marley: I've been here for a work conference. Didn't leave the hotel.

Malika: Okay, you're on the map, Dad!

Marley: This is how it's properly done! Good ole fashioned handheld piece of paper map, street names and a compass in the corner and aimless scribbles in your handwriting.

Malika: I marked where we need to go. It's not aimless. I don't want to argue with you about the changes of time, do I take this street, please?

Marley: You'd regret it, daughter!

Jocelyn: I wonder what everyone else is up to right now.

Bradley: Who? Jamie is sleeping, I reckon.

Jocelyn: No, not the toddler. Of course she is, it's always either sleep or eat or be a charming little angel with her. I mean...the others. Clyde. Devra. Ted.

Bradley: Oh. They can't be having as much fun as we are, babe.

Jocelyn: Right.

Pauline: So, I'm on a reality show right now, hence the camera in front of your vehicle right now. It's such an obvious rip-off of The Amazing Race, but it wants to be its own thing. Have its own identity. I'm here with my husband. It's a little exhausting being a married woman. I get cussed at for even flirting once with someone else. That hair colour on you doesn't entirely work, it washes you out somewhat. See, at least I'm not flirting for once. Had dreams when I was little of being a stylist, but by the time I was an adult woman I realised the Stylist career wasn't something that came with the base game, so I settled for music. It's an art. Creativity and style to some degree. I'm never getting a degree now. I have to sit in this taxi, waiting for my husband. Hank. If you call him Henry, I'll give you fifty bucks.

Scott: This is a good distraction for me.

Darren: Scotty, you don't need to be thinking about all of that on television. Once this car pulls away, we'll jump in ours, or I guess we can go now, physics doesn't exist, am I right?

Scott: This is still a good distraction. And you're not just the cycling-through-the-motions husband. Old man.

Taxi Driver: Where are we off to, Henry?

Hank: Who -

Pauline: I said we're Pauline and Henry Wan-Goddard and we're on a mission to not be the next team eliminated. Something we definitely do not need right now.

Hank: Henry Wan-Goddard...what.

Pauline: Wan-Goddard. Don't you love it?

Pauline: When we weren't married, he used to make me think it would be so easy to abandon him on the side of the road and find someone new to love. Us finding that union really strengthened everything, and boy do I just love this loaf of rye bread.

Hank: Ditto.

Malika: This is it, I can see the boys up ahead!

Marley: Which boys? You have to be more specific.

Malika: Doug and Trenton. The ones who won't admit they have deep-rooted feelings for one another. They're worried they will mess up the roommate situation.

Marley: You kids understand each other far more easily than I could.

Doug: We both have to do this then...

Trenton: You can achieve greatness, Doug. Remember that is our motto for coming into this. Greatness does not just fall from the heavens, you have to put the commitment into it. My brave, uh, best bud.

Doug: Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I'm certain I'll hurt myself today.

Doug: My feet are not going to handle literal flames.

Trenton: Coals.

Doug: There is a flame. I can see literal flames. Flames, flames. On the soles of my feet. I am heaving breaths right now.

Guss: On the beach, everyone will be on fire. These hot coals are SCORCHING hot. The contestants will have to successfully cross from one side to the other in order to gain their next clue...which will send them backwards. In time? Who can say.

Doug: You will kill this, Trenton. This was the sort of thing you hoped for when we first auditioned. They always do semi-dangerous things every season. Although this is only the second season.

Trenton: Okay, maybe some quiet?

Doug: Right. Sorry!

Trenton: I want to be laser-focused.

Trenton: FUUUUUUDGE this hurts the foot.

Doug: I can apply some soothing cream on your soles back at the hotel.

Trenton: I am desperately going to need that. Maybe a back massage too.

Doug: Don't push it. *winks but quickly realises Trenton cannot see it*

Marley: Morning, lads. This looks...inviting.

Doug: Don't lie to yourself Marley!

Marley: I'm lying for his sake. Look at him move across. That takes determination, but determination is needed in the competition right now. You've got a working teammate, Douglas.

Trenton: Tell him to monologue later --

Doug: He's setting up at the other station. We need to move through this --

Trenton: You're going to HATE this Douglas --

Trenton: And I'm across.

Doug: I'm so incredibly proud of you.

Trenton: Okay, we're in the lead. There's only one other team here so far.

Doug: *long exhale* Please don't show me your feet until after the performance I'm about to pull off to keep us in momentum. Not even a glimpse.

Doug: Now that Trenton has completed his firewalk, I know the pressure is on me. And I know the pressure is on both of us. I've heard what the other players say about us - they think we're skirting around our feelings for each other. Trenton and I have lived together for almost five years now. You think we could keep a secret like being in love with each other? Trenton knows I want to kiss him on the mouth. But that's not romantic. That's loyalty.

Doug: It's showtime.

the Katy P*rry Deluxe Edition. She has really nosedived lately.

Trenton: Here's another team. I'm going to go lounge on one of those chairs underneath the umbrellas. If I stand here cheering for you, you'll glare daggers at me.

Scott: I don't think the challenge is inside. Doug just took his shoes off on the sand.

Darren: Don't be making eyes at Doug all the time like you did in Leg 2.

Scott: He's competition! I just like cute boys.

Darren: The challenge is not inside. Someone had an accident near the vending machine though. Nasty, nasty, nasty.

Hank: This doesn't fit the clue at all.

Pauline: Why not?

Hank: He said something about fires, not firetruck-red. Hinted at water, the ocean, and we barely moved far from the starting location at the dock. We've gotta move on.

Pauline: There's something here, I can feel it.

Hank: Oh brother.

Pauline: Other people will be lost. We are not lost.

Hank: We're in a barn which actually isn't a barn, and there is no sign of anyone else except who I assume is the man in charge of this nectar shop.

Which, by the way, I'd love to take some nectar back to the hotel after we lose.

Hank: Pauline got us lost immediately. Am I surprised? No, not really. Last leg, she led us down five different dead ends. FIVE!

Pauline: It's not looking great for me right now!

But the leg before, you lost half of our money! And almost pushed me into the river!

Hank: The almost was a mistake.

Pauline: Hi. You're average-looking so my husband won't be worrying his muscles that I'm flirting up a storm with you.

Cashier: Oh - um. Thanks? Can I help you?

Pauline: We need to find out if you can cheat for us.

Cashier: Pardon?

Pauline: My name is Pauline, good to meet you average-looking stranger. We're competitors in a racing-themed reality show, not Drag Race though, sad. My husband over there, depressingly matching with me colour-wise, would never dress in drag for a handsome sum of money. He is handsome though. Oh, what's your name!

Cashier: It's, uh, Paul....Paul Elderich.

Why did I give you my full name?

Pauline: We need to find out where they're filming the next portion of this episode. Maybe you have heard someone in your community say that during this morning part of the day a certain place is off-limits? Or at least going to be flooded by people in matching clothes and cameras and maybe a challenge? Green lights? I have a memory of a goldfish, so funny right, given my clothes? I've forgotten the clue.

Hank: She's not usually this annoying.

Bethany: Why are we still here???

Piper: There are no taxis around. Bummer.

Bethany: THERE AREN'T TAXIS ON THE CIRCLE!

Piper: Babes...you're not you when you're hungry for a win.

Bethany: I know...I just want to get off this beach. There's sand in my socks.

Piper: You didn't need to run around.

Bethany: We can't get a taxi! I'm going to be running until the finish line --

Piper: That means we'll be losing, Beth.

I don't want to lose.

Doug: Do you ever feel like you're taking screentime away from the more relevant, important figures of a television show? Or a life.

Marley: Malika, is this something new people your age experience?

Malika: Self-esteem issues? Your generation left us with those. But not you specifically, Dad, I don't blame you at all.

Marley: Oh, I love you sweetheart.

*pretend he isn't wearing socks*

Doug: *screams* OWWWWWWW!

Marley: Careful there, fella.

Doug: Trenton made it look like a cake walk.

Malika: Nope, it's definitely made of flaming coals.

Malika: Come on, Dad, you've got this.

Marley: I don't!

Malika: We can try again!

Marley: Can't they lower the temperature for an old fellow like me? Take some of the hotter coals away? Put them in the deepest caverns of the ocean?

Marley: The sand is JUST as hot.

Malika: Quickly slip your shoes back on, Dad, and I'll take a turn walking across the coals.

Marley: Careful, daughter. I almost swore on television.

Doug: You've got this, Doug.

Doug: This is harder than messaging a man on a dating app.

Ouch. My feet hurt.

Malika: He has to wait now.

Marley: I have to wait too, darling.

Malika: And now we have company. How many teams are here now?

Jocelyn: Looks like most of the cast.

Marley: Do not give them attention. It is ... one, two.... three, four ... four teams here. The bickering couple and the girls are missing. Lost, I would assume. It is good for us.

Malika: FEET HURT.

Marley: So perhaps we are not so successful at this type of challenge.

Malika: I let you down, father.

Marley: Nonsense! We are both disappointments. Your mother will have us both scrubbing the kitchen floor for this one.

*they burst into laughter, to make it obvious they are not being serious about punishment. It's a healthy family dynamic.*

Darren: Your turn, Scotty!

Bradley: Ouchie. My toesies hurt.

I accidentally picked up some of the coals with my toes.

Jocelyn: Let me show you why I placed higher than you did on High Hopes: Season Two: Hunt or Be Hunted.

Bradley: Wait, did you?

Jocelyn: I don't know, it sounds right to me.

Bradley: Didn't we all lose?

Jocelyn: This is going to be super fun!! When was the last time I walked on fire? Never!

Bradley: Isn't it so cute how excitable she gets?

Jocelyn: I'm going to BEAT YOU SO BAD.

Jocelyn: This twink doesn't stand a chance.

Scott: It's painful.

Darren: You'll get it next time, buddy.

Jocelyn: I wasn't cocky! No one has footage of that!

Jocelyn: Let me show you why I placed higher than you did on High Hopes: Season Two: Hunt or Be Hunted.

Bradley: Wait, did you?

Jocelyn: I don't know, it sounds right to me.

Bradley: Didn't we all lose?

Pauline: Hurry, hurry, Henry!

Hank: You've never called me Henry in the entire time we've known each other.

Not in bed, not when you're pissed at me, not when we got married --

Pauline: Henry is such an ill-fitting name for you. You're not posh. You don't have money. You're no knight in shining armour. You just do a good job at making me cu--

Hank: Let's just get back on track!

Pauline: This wasn't a waste of time like you thought it was. He was really quite helpful, that, uh, clergyman or whatever.

Hank: He was literally wearing a sleeveless top.

Hank: Maybe it was worth stopping for directions. We were a bit clueless.

Pauline: A bit??? You heard the word "earworms" and thought we should head directly for the farmstead because there would be "plenty of worms in the dirt where they grow carrots and stuff."

Hank: How was I supposed to know earworm meant 'the familiar sound of the rush of ocean waves'?

Doug: Come onnnnnnn -

Doug: It's not looking so hot for us at the moment.

Trenton: And we're the hottest blokes this season.

Doug: Your accent gives me a hard-on...I mean....I'm so nervous.

We need to finish walking on these coals and get out of here.

Guss: Will Doug be able to walk across the coals?

Will the teams in dead last be able to catch up?

We'll be right back with more Fast Times in SimNation...

Ted: Marsha?

Ted: Are you in there, Marsha? I am worried about you.

Ted: It's curtain call.

Well, it's actually fifteen minutes to. But I know you love to be early.

Marsha: Non! Moi ees seeeeeek 'n' taaahred ahf pre-10-deeen to beh sahndeen dighfrentleigh! Thees -- THEES -- is moi voice.

Tehy can fahnd another suuupahstar!

Marsha: Moi weeel beh famousse rehardliiis!

Ted: What are you implying, Marsha? Is the show cancelled?

Marsha: Tehy will beh fahhhhn without moi!

Beeter yeet, they wheel beh teh exict sam. Nobody not-ice.

Ted: People will notice you are departing the show, Marsha.

But I am grateful you are coming to your senses about this show.

It was never meant to be the right decision for you. You were abandoning your morals to be famous. Or, to be VCC-famous. This channel, I do not enjoy their programming. Too salacious.

Producer: Am I hearing this correctly? She's being a little baby and quitting the show then? Because we told her she couldn't use her "persona" singing voice?

Ted: It isn't a persona. Marsha is a wonderful woman, with a wonderful voice. It is just not what the world expects when they hear someone speak. Or sing.

Marsha and I are leaving. You can keep the gimmick.

Vecepia Von Dalcouex: I'm so sorry, Loretta, but this is the end of your journey here. You have a beautiful voice - we're unfortunate to have not heard it tonight. You will have a lasting impression on us.

Stan Ghee: And thank you for sharing your story! To be a widow three times over must be an incredible weight on a woman. To hear that you survived a burning building, a landslide, and a once-thought-incurable disease as well!

Vecepia Von Dalcouex: An incredible woman.

Stan Ghee: APPLAUD FOR HER!

_________

Loretta: Now tell me, what exactly are you offering?

???: Think of it like immunity.

Loretta: Ma'am, they just done kicked me off because my voice quit.

???: Immunity beyond the scope of this singular competition show. Immunity in the bare essence of the word.

Loretta: Do I get a stipend of sorts? To pay the so-called hospital bills?

???: People will have forgotten those little stories in time.

You are quite the actress, Loretta.

Irma: We are in need of that behind the scenes.

Loretta: I'm an old woman with creaky bones and I already got on my knees in the 80s.

Irma: Do you know my story, Loretta? I am the winner of the second season of High Hopes. I outfoxed the fox. As they say. When my competitors became concerned of my impact, my success, they locked me away in the recesses of their mind. Save for a rainy day. Those days will always come. We can give you cushioning.

Loretta: You won a reality show?

Irma: I was not so fashionable. The key will always be to play on the defense. Protect yourself. Line your wallet with the income of the Reality Television Corporation.

Loretta: How do I know you are not merely promising me an embarrassing downfall?

Irma: There are case studies to peruse. Regardless, darling, you will be observing the live feeds. Living in the shadows. But...take a glance at the former contestants of Hunt or Be Hunted. They could have been the greatest players of a competitive game in all of reality television history. But they abandoned me. Misused my advice.

Now, you can see what has become of them.

Irma: (V/O) Marsha Marshall, with the voice of a questionable alien. A dear friend of mine. She ripped your vocal chords right out. Took away your chance at the million.

Marsha: Moi ees jahst so prahd off 'erself.

Moi will goh homme end beh hippy.

Nah more beaning pshussy-tat.

Teala: Apologies for the terrible lighting, contestants. We're shooting this for Netflix so this is the gold standard for them. You can at least see that I'm wearing clothes, and standing outside near some sort of a woods, but I'm not sure if my grim expression is completely noticeable. It's almost midnight, contestants, and one of you is about to be eliminated from The Sneakiest Spy.

Teala: In front of you are your tablets. As a reminder, no one has immunity from tonight's elimination - except, of course, the Sneakiest Spy.

You have all completed the quiz, a series of questions to determine how close you are to solving their identity. I can confirm one contestant performed the weakest on the quiz.

Teala: Tensions I'm sure are running high. After tonight, we'll be down to the final four, one step closer to unmasking our Sneakiest Spy. Is everyone prepared?

The first person tonight to be finding out their fate is ..... Devra.

Please get ready to see your fate, Devra Eden.

Devra: Sweetest king . . .

Devra: Goodness. No.

Teala: Unfortunately that means you have been eliminated, Devra.

The Sneakiest Spy has simply eluded you more than you could have realised.

Please come this way with me.

Devra: You will be hearing from my royal lawyer....oh, I am just kidding!

Peeved I was not successful in this competition either, but alas...

Time to go home and spill production secrets in the woods. By woods I mean "to the online trolls."

Jocelyn: There he is!

Bradley: Come on, now's the time to run then.

Jocelyn: We definitely wasted some energy today, babe.

Guss: Here comes Jocelyn and Bradley now. Our lovebirds.

Bradley: COME ON!

Jocelyn: There's literally no one else behind us! I'm going as fast as I can, but one of us is athletic, and the other prefers taking naps with the toddler and watching back episodes of The Good Place.

Bradley: They almost called me Bradlery like Celery in post!

Jocelyn: How exactly ~are~ we in the '20s anyway?

Bradley: Huh?

Jocelyn: Roaring Heights...this place. It's based on the 1920s, that much is obvious by the décor and the name, it's like The Roaring Twenties. So, did we time-travel, or is this entire neighbourhood pretending to have not aged since the 1920s?

Bradley: I....*huff* do....*huff* not...*huff* know.