Greta: Why are we shooting today? Don't you know how I feel?
Bart: Yes, you finished watching Game of Thorns. We know.
Greta: No, you don't know.
Bart: Come on.
Greta: Fine, I'm coming. What do we have planned again?
Bart: Wait...you don't want to say hello?
Greta: Oh right. Hello, I'm Greta Francis and welcome back to Hunt or Be Hunted. Tonight is special.
.
.
Irma: Am I hearing this correctly, sir Bradley?
You are asking for an alliance with yours truly?
Bradley: Yes. Red heads unite and win.
Irma: You sure? This is a wig, sir.
Bradley: Right, the robot thing. I forget. At least they chose to give you red hair.
Irma: My choice, in fact. Don't I suit it?
Bradley: Yes, indeed. So?
Bradley: Neither of us know what will happen in this competition next round.
I doubt it will be a repeat of Round One, especially with the hype.
Irma: So, if I agree to work with you, we can be safe with each other?
Bradley: Exactly.
Irma: I've studied reality shows my entire existence. So, one year.
But, I do know how they function. I can help you.
Bradley: You certainly can. What will it be?
Irma: Uh...I...am...processing this.
Bradley: You can have as much as needed. I do want to know before the next competition, though.
Irma: I...I will help you, Bradley!
Bradley: Woohoo!
Irma: Keep that filthy language in the streets, boy.
.
.
Ted: *yawning* What a...beautiful morning.
.
.
Clyde: Can this be the unofficial diary room for this house? Okay.
Uh, I made the final five. I still cannot believe it. I just...I've loved this experience to the moon and back, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to come here.
Cameraman Joe: Are you excited for the rest of the game?
Clyde: Excited? Nervous, really. Who knows what'll happen.
.
.
Greta: HOUSEGUESTS! Wake the hell up.
Bart: Most of them are awake, Greta.
Greta: Most is not all, Bart! Wake 'em!
Bart: Calm down, okay? Today is an exciting day.
Be happy.
Greta: *changing* I am happy. Why wouldn't I be?
Bart: I'm partially deaf because of you.
Greta: That ain't because of me, honey.
.
.
Ted: *from afar* Good-morning there!
Who is that?
Clyde: It's me, Clyde. Good morning, Ted.
Ted: How was your sleep, Clyde? I promise it was better?
Clyde: I've been sleeping fine, but thank you for asking.
Ted: I was only asking, Clyde.
Clyde: I know. It's just...people have been asking too often.
Ted: Irma's been asking, huh? She's very dear to her....I cannot for the life of me remember their relation. Her name is Isna. Has she mentioned her?
Clyde: Yes. In fact, Irma contacted her when I couldn't sleep.
Ted: Then, I understand why you are angering towards the question.
My apologies, Clyde.
Clyde: It's fine, really. I'm glad you were concerned too.
Anyway...
Ted: You must be wondering what will happen now too?
Clyde: That too. I was actually wondering...where is Devra?
.
.
Devra: Good morning world!
Cameraman Joe: You're awfully chirpy today!
Devra: Indeed I am. It's so sunny!
Devra: Anywho, I need to pee! No peeking, Joe!
Joe: Trust me, I'd rather not.
Devra: What does that mean?
Joe: I'm not...attracted to women, at all. Sorry.
.
.
Bradley: So, that's my plan. You think you can handle that, robot?
Irma: I memorized your plan the moment you finished speaking.
Bring it on.
Bradley: Well, that must be helpful.
Irma: Very.
Greta: Thank god! Someone finally answered me!
Bart: What? Oh right, someone's coming down the stairs.
Greta: Finally. No one else does.
Ted: Greta! Oh, goodness. Were you expecting us?
My apologies.
Greta: Could you...possibly tell the others?
Ted: Sure, host.
Greta: Thank you.
.
.
Devra: What is happening here then?
I couldn't even complete my make-up.
Clyde: Greta has an important news.
Bradley: Important? Like, for Round Two?
Irma: Perhaps.
Greta: Good morning, contestants. You have seven hours to prepare.
Ted: Prepare for what exactly, miss?
Greta: For an evening out. With surprises.
Devra: Lousy ones, I bet.
Ted: Prepare for what exactly, miss?
Greta: For an evening out. With surprises.
Devra: Lousy ones, I bet.
-----
*Later that Day*
*Later that Day*
Devra: I told you it would be tacky. I don't see an expensive jewel anywhere.
Irma: I can sense familiar DNA in the area.
Clyde: Is this the same party room as Marsha's?
Greta: *over the speaker* Contestants! The surprises are coming!
Devra, wait by the fountain.
Devra: Thank the maker! For a moment, I thought you'd push me towards the popcorn machine.
Greta: Never!
Greta: Your surprise will be coming soon, just sit tight.
Irma: Why can I sense that my surprise is a familiar face?
Greta: You'll be glad you waited, Bradley. I promise.
Bradley: You better not prank me.
.
.
Who, or what, will it be? Will the contestant be happy?
Or not? We will see....
Clyde: Abi...is that you?
Abigail: It is me, Dad.
Greta: Please welcome Guest #1, Abigail Stoners!
Abigail: Daddy! I've been watching you on the TV! You're doing great, Dad.
My friends are jealous that their dads aren't on TV.
Clyde: I am grateful to make it this far, Abi. I'm glad you watch this show.
I love you. I hope you win.
Clyde: I hope I win too. I love you, my precious angel.
Abigail: Dad! Not on live TV!
.
.
High heels...who could it be? Someone's....what?
Greta: Please welcome our second guest, Isna Roboot.
Isna: I am here for family. I will not be serving anyone today.
Isna: Of course I came! I love you like a sister.
However, for once, I must admit I look nicer than you.
Irma: Keep lying to yourself, Is.
Irma: Have you spoken with the professor?
Isna: Do not worry about him right now, Irma.
.
.
Greta: Debby! She is Guest #3. The audience may recognise her for the hit reality show, Zero Privacy.
Debby: Could someone please tell me why you invited me?
Hunt or Be Hunted? Sound familiar.
Debby: Yeah, sure.
Thank you, Greta Francis.
Greta: Run to her! Please do, I want some build up!
Ted: I may be happy, but not enough to run.
Ted: I am doing well, thank you.
I take it something happened on that show of yours.
Debby: I was eliminated, I think. Greta kidnapped me.
Greta: Uh, so not true.
Clyde: Close your eyes, Abigail!
Abigail: Okay, Dad! That is disgusting.
I hope none of the icky boys kiss me like that.
Clyde: They better not!
Ted: Oh, I am sorry. I hadn't seen my wife in forever.
Bradley: It's fine. Of course.
You seem like a wonderful couple.
Debby: Wonderful? What is such a word?
Ted: I am glad you are still the woman I love today.
.
.
Greta: Yours is next, Bradley Martinez. You need to learn to be patient.
Bradley: Oh, sorry. I've been waiting so long.
Devra: Peasant please.
Bradley: Jocelyn? No, it can't be. They eliminated you.
Devra nearly killed you with electricity.
Devra: Is this Everyone Hates Devra Day or something?
Jocelyn: Everyone does hate you, Devra.
Jocelyn: This isn't a trick. I am truly here, Brad.
This is me. It's Joce.
Bradley: It's really you. Oh wow. No. It can't be.
Devra: Fool, it is her. She insulted me.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Jocelyn: Well, actually, they brought me back to beat your ass.
Bradley: What?
Jocelyn: I'm kidding! Brad, I...I love you.
Jocelyn: Thank you.
*they kiss*
Irma: Holy Devil's Food Cake!
Bradley: Don't listen to them.
No more kissing!
Clyde: That's my daughter, right there. Always sticking to her values.
Abigail: I mean, do you really need to! You spread germs! Stop it!
Bradley: Don't think about her at all. This is our night.
Jocelyn: Yeah, let's enjoy it all.
I just want to see my guest! Hurry up!
Greta: Calm down. He's coming.
Devra: He! Father! Is it my father! The King!
Greta: You'll see.
I was told to meet here in the garden.
Devra: Who's this hottie?
Greta: This is Brendan, Guest #5. Welcome to the garden.
Brendan: Uh...I don't think so.
Devra: Did...did my parents send you?
Brendan: You shouldn't need to ask questions.
Devra: The honour is all mine, love.
Brendan: You are very, very beautiful. Stunning.
Devra: Did I mention how handsome you are?
I hope tonight will be an evening to never forget, your highness.
Devra: Oh please...call me Princess.
Brendan: Okay, Princess.
Devra: I knew that, of course.
Brendan: I am supposed to propose now.
Devra: Uh, what?
Devra: Uh......nope.
Brendan: Supposed? Now?
Devra: Nothing now. Nope.
Devra: OH MY LORD. YES.
Brendan: You love red roses too? My mother can't stand if our garden grows the white ones. She's quite-
Devra: She sound simply
Brendan: I take it the male species isn't inclined to this?
Devra: Some freaks like to pity the fools.
I, myself, am not a fool.
.
.
Then he changed your speech function! Hilarious!
Irma: Didn't you catch that episode?
Isna: Like VoidCrittersRun? I don't play children's games.
Isna: So, you must be excited for the remaining days. Plans?
Irma: I am making them very clear and distinct, Isna. I plan to win.
Isna: Naturally, as one does.
.
.
Debby: I suppose. I am glad.
Ted: We can holiday across the globe with the winnings!
Debby: I doubt that. No such money.
When I'm crowned the winner. With all that cash.
Jocelyn: Brad, I don't care about the money.
Quit. You know I got offered another job at camp?
Bradley: That's wonderful!
Debby: Kids these days!
Isna: I know right!
Bradley: Don't listen to them.
.
.
I didn't mean to startle you.
Devra: Oh, uh...no, you didn't. I mean, you did, but I forgive you.
At least there's no wedding ring, huh?
Brendan: Yeah.
Brendan: I'm yawning. *he fake yawns* What would it look like to you?
Devra: The peasant's trick of the book.
That won't work on me.
Brendan: It won't?
Brendan: It looks like it is working.
Devra: No, it's not. I think I would know, prince.
Brendan: Princess, please. Be honest with me.
.
.
I'm starving!
Clyde: It's coming, honey. Be patient.
Abigail: I know. I skipped breakfast.
Abigail: And?
Clyde: Don't you 'and' me. Did you eat lunch, Abi?
Abigail: Of course. Why would I skip the second-best meal of the day?
I don't want to get married yet; they know that.
Brendan: You need to marry soon. Provide an heir.
Devra: I'll provide an heir one day. Gosh.
Devra: I don't want to marry you yet.
Brendan: Yet? So you would consider marrying me?
Devra: Not with that attitude, sweetie.
.
.
Can I?
Isna: Where is that Clyde fellow? The man with the wife?
Irma: No, that is Teddington.
Isna: The blonde hunk?
Isna: That's a nobody. Clyde is the man with the popcorn.
Abigail: THANK GOD!
Clyde: Okay, calm down. What has the family been feeding you?
Abigail: Growth hormones.
Abigail: Aw, thanks Dad! My friends keep telling me to slap Dylan, and I say no, but they call me a chicken. Thank you for clearing that!
Clyde: You shouldn't hang with them.
Abigail: You shouldn't ever say the word 'hang' again, father.
Brendan: So, will you marry me? Devra?
Debby: I best be going soon, Ted.
Bradley: I'll win this, and then I will move with you to the forest.
Time to head home.
Devra: Thank god! This was crazy.
Irma: It was wonderful to see Isna again.
Greta: Say goodbye once again.
-----
*The Next Morning*
Devra: What is that supposed to mean?
Bradley: She's happy! Okay! She got offered a new job.
Ted: Good on her, I say. Go get 'em.
Isna told me they've been releasing sneak peeks on the line.
Bradley: Wow, really? Jocelyn didn't mention it.
Devra: I think there's definitely a castle coming soon.
I can sense the princess vibe in my bones. And my blood.
Ted: Interesting.
Bradley: Yeah, I can really imagine it.
Devra: You better.
Maybe...a circus? Somewhere with creepy clowns and dark corners filled with cobwebs and dust. Maybe a scarecrow or four?
Ted: I do enjoy a night out at the circus, yes. This one time, with Debby, the clown fell on his face for the giggles. Hehe.
Clyde: Excuse you?
Bradley: I mean, what are we doing in Round Two?
Are we hunting people again? Are we dying?
Clyde: Uh, excuse you?
The four of you in front of me are brilliant people. I do not care who wins because we all deserve it.
Irma: Thank you, master Ted. That was very sublime speech.
Ted: I meant every word spoken.
Devra: I am sure you're bursting to return to that daughter of yours. Loved her, by the way.
Bradley: She's a little firecracker.
Goodnight.
