Saturday, July 2, 2016

Hunt or Be Hunted Episode Eight: Try Everything

High Hopes Season 2: Hunt or Be Hunted, Episode Eight: Try Everything

Ted: I'd like to thank my wife for this opportunity. I made it to the final five! 
Woo! Go me. I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from. 
I am rather excited about my journey. Devra and I leave for a new location today, which leaves me rather curious. I do not wish to say goodbye to this house. It has been a howdy doody time here.  

----

Devra: Wait, wait. I have an idea for a game to play. Guess who I am! 
"Look at moi. I em so so bootyfall. Lookie!" Could you guess who I was? 
I am so glad to be leaving this cheap spa retreat and possibly leaving for a castle in the hills. How exciting! I'd also like to thank the peasants and my soon-to-be kingdom who get me here..ha, who am I kidding? I only need to thank myself for this achievement. B-r-a-v-o Devra. Bravo. 

-----

Ted: Greta said we will be leaving in a few minutes. 
Mind if we have a little chat? 
Devra: Of course, Ted! You complimented my hat when no-one else did.
Ted: That hat? Oh, my dear, it was....so very lovely. 
Devra: No, I hated it. Smelled like pheasant.  

Ted: Like the bird? Or did you make a boo-boo?
Devra: Yes, like the bird! I am not a child, Mister. 
Is that cookies I smell? 
Ted: Mmmmm. Smells delicious. Maybe those cookies you left on the bench? 
Devra: No, that bodyguard and I shared them. Delicious. 

Ted: You and the bodyguard? What is that now-
Devra: I am not with the bodyguard! I am a princess; my parents have arranged my marriage. 
Ted: I do hope you invite me. 
Devra: Are you a royal yourself? If not, I'm afraid I cannot. 

Ted: Then that is disappointing. You could have met my family.
Devra: I think I am grateful then. 
Ted: You do not want to meet them? Why not? 
Devra: If you are not royal, then they are not too. 
I couldn't bear speaking with them then. 

Ted: But you can bear to speak with me? 
Devra: Ted. Listen to me. I am royalty. 
I must watch my actions. Speaking with you is no risk. 
Ted: No risk? I can be a...risky guy? 
Devra: That is not what I meant. 

Ted: I think Greta is calling for us now. 
Devra: I don't hear anything, Ted. 
 Ted: Oh, my apologies, princess. Must have been my whacked imagination. 
Devra: Is that Bart? Bartie? Come on, Ted. 

----

Greta: Hello and welcome back to Hunt or Be Hunted, the second season of the critically acclaimed High Hopes. Of course, only critically acclaimed by a select number of people, but critically acclaimed nevertheless. My name is Greta Francis and it feels so great to finally be able to change my hairstyle! 
Marsha: Whey you no contenact moi?
Greta: Not now, Marsha. As you can see, behind me is a green towel. 
Not just any green towel. The green towel of greatness. More on that later. 

Clyde: That green towel is mine. 
TJ: Bro, uh uh. Mine.
Bradley: Yours? Who are you to talk? 
Irma: Men. It will be mine. 
Marsha: Oh pleese. Deffiet ees guarrenneteneeded. 
Clyde: I can't even read hear that. 

Greta: As I was saying, I will reveal exactly what this towel will do later, but as you know, expect the unexpected. 
Irma: Fact: that is the slogan for another reality show. 
It is unacceptable to steal. 
TJ: You're past your expiration date. Move along. 
Greta: Fine. Expect whatever. Come and do the quiz. 

Bradley: Could I? 
Greta: Contact Jocelyn? No way. 
Bradley: Pretty please. I could always...help you out. 
Greta: You know, there's a little thing called loyalty. Google that. 

Bradley: Okay, question one-
Greta: While in the past, in what position was your hunter before I (Greta) pressed the button that sent us home? 
 Bradley: Uh....I can't remember where I stood. Help me. 
Greta: Uh, no.

Irma: Question two...
Greta: During the past, where did your hunter go while at the gym location? 
 Irma: Hmm. I napped and recharged for that portion, so I fail to remember. 
If only I could read the mind of one of the other contestants. 

 Greta: Yet you cannot. You aren't Nan.
Irma: Nan. Searching for someone named Nan.......
Search failed. Could not locate anyone named Nan in the area. 
Must answer quiz honestly then. 
Greta: Great idea. 

Clyde: Could I possibly receive some kind of exemption or token or something similar for this quiz? I just...I don't feel quite positive today. 
Greta: You cannot skip this quiz. You will be punished. 
TJ: Is he complaining again? I woke up to that. 
Clyde: I don't understand why I must fill this out each week? 

Greta: Question three-
Clyde: I know. If your hunter could be any animal, what-
Greta: What would they be? 
Clyde: What am I exactly?  
TJ: Bro, you're a wombat! 

Marsha: Sign een? Moi's name ees Marsha Marshall.
Moi's pestword is-
Greta: You clicked on the wrong thing. Here-
Marsha: Moi canne doo eet. 
Bradley: Oh, she did that too? Oops. 

Marsha: Questian foure-
Greta: Did your hunter win one of the rounds of '20 Questions'? 
 Marsha: Eugh, let moi theenk. Non? Yees? 
Moi is confuiseed.
Bradley: Don't be confused, Marsha! You can do it! 

TJ: My turn. Very kind of you to leave me until last. 
Greta: You are welcome. After all, it is very clear that I planned this. 
 TJ: Listen, I don't care much for you. 
I was just acting nice. 
Greta: Oh, acting nice are we? Theophilus Jim? 

TJ: What the hell name is Theophilus? Adding the 'Jim' really spiced it up. 
Greta: Who is targeting you? Hurry up. 
TJ: Let me take a guess. The mafia? Cora Kinsey? 
Greta: Nope, she's locked down somewhere. 

-----

Greta: House Guests! Great news! 
 Irma: Ooh, we'll finally be treated like actual guests and there are no more challenges.
Bradley: That would be stupid. 
Clyde: Stupid...but smart. Get it? 
Marsha: Non. That ees a....what ees teh woorde?

TJ: Don't ask me, pal. Do look like a rainbow of Grammar? 
Bradley: Speaking of rainbows, anyone watch the news last night? 
TJ: Well, you didn't. None of us did. 
Marsha: Exsacatleee!
Greta: Anyway, as I was saying, you won't know the result of the quiz until tomorrow night. 

Clyde: Drat! I filled that out for yet another waiting period!
This is like the time I wanted to adop-
Irma: Adopting. Fine if the child is endangered.
Greta: Contestants, follow the camera crew. It's time to try everything one thing. 

------

TJ: Why are we outside? I hate outside. 
Irma: I do too. The bugs destroy my inside. 
Clyde: Exactly that is why I prefer indoors. 
Marsha: Moi is liveen for theese! Kiddean! 

Bradley: It's nice out here. Romantic. 
Wish Jocelyn could see this. 
TJ as Jocelyn: I can! Surprise! 
Bradley: Real nice, TJ. Real nice. 
Irma: I can see a fire pit. Wonderful. 

TJ: Sorry, man. I saw the opportunity and I took it. 
If you need me there for you, I'm here. 
Bradley: Thanks, dude. 
Clyde: We couldn't stay at that cabin, could we?
Marsha: It...non. Booked eet alreedey. 

Bradley: I'll be right back! 
TJ: Where are you off to? 
Bradley: We need supplies. Beds and stuff. 
Irma: What a splendid idea? I'm afraid they won't have anything for me. 
I am a robot, you see.

TJ: We know, Irma. 
You aren't a blue and yellow fish.
Marsha: Moi cannenot hear thit. 
TJ: Nevermind. 
Irma: What? Could you possibly speak louder, TJ sir? 

Bradley: TJ, is that you back there? 
TJ: Yeah! I'm catching up. I thought you'd like company. 
Bradley: Good idea. It's pretty lonely up here. 
TJ: See, I knew it. Nothing like the lonely outdoors. 

Bradley: Yeah, so lonely. 
I wish Jocelyn was here. 
TJ: Hey, man. Listen. You came here to win for yourself, but now you can win for her too. 
Bradley: It's funny that I'm receiving your advice from behind. 
TJ: Please never say that to me again. 

Marsha: Hey! Hoo ees this penk-haired men?
Clyde:  Who? I cannot see him at all. Irma? 
Irma: Pink-haired man? Hmm. 
Nothing in my database links to him. I'm afraid not. 

Marsha: Leesin. Wait, non, see heem! 
Clyde: See who, Marsha? 
Marsha: The penk men! Over tear! 
Clyde: The pink men? How many are there then

Marsha: Moi is Sirius! He ees reel. 
Irma: I cannot detect another presence in this area besides you, my dear, and Clyde. *laughs*
Marsha: Thet ees lau-ter! 'Aters.
Irma: Would you like for me to check for a virus in your system? 

Eddie: Hola mi arpeggios. 
Clyde: Holy angel food cake! Hold on-
Eddie: My name is Eddie and I am a friendly park ranger here. 
This pink hair is as real as it comes. 
Marsha: Teld ya.  

Bradley: Hey there. What a lovely face you have. 
Gina: Thank you. What you want? 
Cameraman Joe: There's literally no one there. 
Bradley: Uh, don't listen to the camera dude. He's...well, he likes men.

TJ: What a walk! Can't believe I-
Cameraman Joe: You can't use my sexuality as an excuse for everything, you know. Literally, on the way here-
TJ: Why you hassling Camera-gay Joe? He's just a dude. 
Cameraman Joe: Now, listen here-

Bradley: What do you mean you only have one tent left? 
That's outright Joe-d. 
TJ: You just use his name as a verb? 
Bradley: Hell yeah. 
Cameraman Joe: You know I'm sleeping in that tent tonight, right?

Irma: Stupid bugs. Ain't no one eating my flesh tonight. 
Marsha: Ewwie! Taht is gross. 
Irma: I blame Greta for this problem. 
She must have searched for the most insects in an area with her-
Marsha: She ees net a roboot. 

Clyde: Greetings, Edddie. My name is Clyde Stoners. 
Eddie: Pleasure to meet you, kind sir. First time? 
Clyde: Why would you say that? 
Eddie: You packed nothing. Whatsoever. 

TJ: How'd you go, bro? All the tents sorted? 
Extra bedding for the girls? 
Bradley: Uh, bad news from me. Only one tent, and considering I came all the way up here and asked Gina, it's mine. I call dibs. 
TJ: Seems reasonable. So the rest of us? 
Bradley: Sleeping under the stars. 

TJ: On beds, right? Man, tell me so. 
Bradley: Of course beds! Just no protection from...bugs.
TJ: I can stand that. You buy food? 
Bradley: The ultimate starter kit or whatever. 
The crew offered to carry it all. 

TJ: Wow, really? How generous of them? 
Bradley: I needed to bribe Joe. Looks like I won't be sleeping alone. 
TJ: Oh, harsh. It's only one night, man.
Plus, no heavy lifting. 
Bradley: Exactly. No way in hell I'd carry four beds. 

TJ: No way I'd carry that either. 
I suppose the bad thing is the deal. 
Bradley: We better head back to camp. Wow, how weird. Camp? 
TJ: Camp? I suppose we are camping now, bro. 
Bradley: Let's do this. 

.

 Clyde: Camping is not exactly my type of thing, but I am glad I have made it this far in the competition. My daughter must be smiling proudly. Of course, I refused for her to watch this show as a precaution, but my parents are obviously telling her the simple details. That her father will be winning.

TJ: Guess who's back now! It's us! 
Irma: Oh praise. They have brought us the necessities. 
Not like I need them. 
Clyde: One tent? You must be kidding. 
Marsha: Moi does not tink 'e ees kiddean. 

Bradley: I know it isn't much, but it's the best I can do. 
TJ: We did buy food though! There's that sorted. 
Clyde: Can't I sleep in the tent? 
Irma: I can recharge wherever I need to. 
These beds will do. 
Bradley: At least someone will accept it. 

TJ: Look, someone even brought the Bible! 
Bradley: Man, that's not the Bible. That's some fiction book. 
TJ: They're both fake books with history. 
Marsha: Luck, moi is teered. 
Moi needs slep. 

TJ: Good freaking idea, Marsha. 
God, these bugs must be the dark cousins of some horrible demon.
Bradley: They wouldn't be that bad. 
Clyde: Have they attacked you, Mr Perfect? No. So goodnight. 
Bradley: Right. 

TJ: I hope I ain't showing too much skin out in this public place. 
You know, I didn't expect this to happen. 
Irma: Nobody is complaining, TJ, sir. 
 Bradley: I mean, you make me jealous. 
Where can I find a body like that? 

TJ: No need to go all homo on me, bro. 
Clyde: You know, I didn't expect to be so attracted right now. 
TJ: Huh, man. You need to speak up. 
Can't hear ya. 
Clyde: Oh, nothing. Simple observation is all. 

Irma: Calculation: Clyde is lying. 
That is no simple observation, master Clyde. 
I sense something different. 
Bradley: I can totally see housewife TJ in an apron. 
Clyde: I don't...no, we're not getting married. 
Irma: Possibility, master Clyde. 

Clyde: Okay, if you say so. 
*sprays the bed* 
Irma: If I can ask, what are you up to, sir? 
I don't think I entirely understand. 
Clyde: I'm spraying the bugs away. Sure it'll smell, but- 

Marsha: Tu ees wired. 
Clyde: What? Where is it? 
Bradley: No, she means 'you are weird.' 
Can't believe I'm her new translator. 
Marsha: Moi doesn't kneed translamolitator. 

Clyde: A bug? How dare it even come near me? 
Bradley: Okay, buddy. You sleep well. 
Irma: Should I spray mine too? I should protect myself.
Clyde: Another bug! You must be kidding me. 

Marsha: Mois ees weird too. 
Bradley: Well, I've had enough of all this for one night. 
Goodnight, you all. 
Irma: Goodnight, Bradley. Rest well. 
Bradley: I will hope so. 

Irma: Oh you better! That tent must be comfortable. 
Bradley: It would be without the added snuggle buddy. 
Clyde: You don't want the tent then? I'd accept it. 
Bradley: I'd rather not trade with you. 

Irma: No bugs will annoy me! 
Marsha: 'ou meene 'bug' you. 
Irma: Exactly! No bugs will bug me tonight. 
They wouldn't have if we remained indoors. 
Clyde: Goodnight, Irma. Marsha. Bradley. 

Marsha: Goodnit, Klide.
Clyde: Is that the first time she has spoken my name? 
Irma: Scanning.....I believe so. Bravo, master Clyde. 
Goodnight. 
Clyde: Goodnight. 

Bradley: Goodnight everyone. Sleep well. 
Cameraman Joe: Looks like it's time to head to bed. 
Bradley: Look, I may be smiling, but I'm not happy about this. 
Cameraman Joe: Fine. I won't do anything sketchy. 

Bradley: Thank you, Joe. 
Maybe I might like you after all. 
Cameraman Joe: You really think so? Aw. 
Bradley: Dude, go drool somewhere else. I like the ladies. 
Goodnight.

-----


TJ: Bloody brilliant. Sleeping under the flaming stars, of all places. 
I'd prefer a stinking prison bed to this. At least there's a roof over my head. 
A concrete, stable roof that protects me from bugs and rain. Anyway, might I discuss our current situation even more? Brad, my man, is pleasing himself in a tent with...nope, that sentence is bad wrong! He's sleeping in there. We get scrappy seconds. 

---

 Irma: I would definitely say that I do not enjoy our camping experience. 
I dare say that this idea was more unacceptable than traveling back in time or visiting that party for Marsha. This would be rock bottom. I am outdoors now. 
At least it is not permanent, or else we would be saying goodbye to Irma Roboot and hello to a new family member. Someone capable of living outdoors. 

-----

TJ: Well, I'm awake now. Those stupid bugs. 
Cameraman Joe: Should have sprayed your bed down. 
TJ: Good to see you still alive, Joe. 
Brad didn't smother you to death? 
Cameraman Joe: Nope, not at all. He was actually-

TJ: Look, you better not bother him with this. 
He only accepted to not carry the stuff. 
Cameraman Joe: I know; he loves women. He whispered it all night. 
TJ: Seriously? Man, he is desperate. Don't tell him that. 

Clyde: Don't tell who what? 
I apologize if I interrupted at all. 
TJ: Not at all, bro. I wasn't really talking to Joe. 
Clyde: Well, good morning to the both of you. 
TJ: Good morning, Clyde. 

Clyde: I wonder what we're up to today, TJ? 
Aren't the slightest bit curious about that? 
 TJ: As long as I don't die, I'm a-okay with anything. 
Clyde: They wouldn't kill us-
TJ: Remember Jamie and Zara? Did they kill Fabio too? 

Irma: They did not kill Fabio or Martin. They simply left. 
 Marsha: Gudmornin' peeps. Moi ees awake. 
Irma: Good morning, everyone. I hope everyone slept well. 
Marsha: Moi sleeps peerfeictedly! 

Clyde: I'm starving. What is there for breakfast? 
TJ: My- yeah, you're a dude. I'll leave. 
 Clyde: I think I will have some granola. Healthy. 
TJ: Good idea, bro. You don't want-

Bradley: Good morning everyone! Isn't this such a pleasant morning? 
Irma: Did you mean 'peasant'? 
Bradley: No, no I did not. I am not Devra. 
Nobody has noticed my new clothes? They were left for us for today. 

Marsha: WHAT TEH HECK EES THESE MISS! 
TJ: Okay, calm down. The clothes are only for today. 
Marsha: Thise cloths 're nit stilysish. 
Cameraman Joe: Then why are you smiling? 
I don't get it. 

Irma: Stylish. Sleek. Old. 
 Calculation: I can suit this for today. 
Bradley: I think it looks wonderful on you, Irma. 
You too, Marsha. 
Marsha: These ees gerbag. 

Clyde: You know what isn't 'gerbag'? This granola. 
I mean, I can't help but fall in love with it all.
TJ: It looks like a giant cookie in a bowl. 
Clyde: It most certainly isn't a 'giant cookie in a bowl'. There is so much more nutritional value in this compare to a cookie. 
TJ: Please explain what everything in that bowl is for me. 

Clyde: Nice clothes you have there, TJ. 
TJ: I'd prefer if you didn't hit on me. 
Bradley told me about the housewife joke. 
Clyde: See, he think you'd suit the apron-
TJ: I won't be marrying you anytime soon. 

Bradley: There's a horseshoe thing here? 
Irma: Indeed. Very enjoyable.
Marsha: Tu shtole moi's clotheen! 
Cameraman Joe: No, that hideous pile of junk is right behind you. 

----

 Bradley: I'd like to thank Devra for sending my Jocelyn home. Not. 
You worthless piece of trash! How dare you! 
Greta: Uh, Bradley. Please stop. 
Bradley: Fine, fine. I still cannot believe she is gone. My love. 
The love of my life isn't sleeping in the tent beside me. How dare Devra do that? I will be fine, I promise. I will win and Jocelyn and I will marry! 

----

Clyde: The host asked us to meet at the national park for the day. 
TJ: Any other instructions, my dear husband? 
Irma: Husband? Dare I sense a wedding occurred. 
Clyde: Sadly, no. TJ did not marry me, I'm afraid.  
TJ: You better be afraid. 

Marsha: Weet for moi! 
Bradley: You are slowing us down, Marsha. Catch up. 
Irma: It isn't her fault. She isn't...athletic. 
Clyde: You think I'm athletic? I just don't like being in the back. 

TJ: There's another thing we don't have in common. 
You wouldn't last a day married to me. 
Marsha: Weet for moi! I em slugh. 
Bradley: It's also something you'd both benefit from. 
Clyde in front-
TJ: Please shut up. 

Irma: Wow, this is quite the magnificent view. 
That waterfall is the crown jewel. 
Clyde: It's very beautiful. The perfect spot to-
Bradley: The perfect spot for a date with Joce. 

TJ: What the hell are we doing here anyway? 
I want to leave. 
Clyde: What are you, a baby? 
Marsha: Come bick! Pweeese. 
Bradley: I think the host said they'd be picking us back up in the afternoon. 

Marsha: Canne 'ou repeet thit pweese! 
TJ: *yelling* The flaming host will pick us up later! 
Marsha: 'Aters. Calleen moi the enenemeny. 
Clyde: That water is so crystal clear! Marsha, hurry up! 

Irma: So, do you come here often? 
Tatiana: Often? This is ma home, sweetcakes. 
Irma: Am I assumed to believe that you live off the land? 
Tatiana: Oh, no, no. I live in that cabin not too far from the shoreline. 

Bradley: Fishing isn't fun. I've decided that. 
Irma: It is a skill, Bradley, sir. You must gradually master it. 
You haven't even cast. 
Bradley: Shh. I have once...like twelve years ago. 
Irma: Keep fishing. 

TJ: Oi, guys, where'd Clyde go? He was here a minute ago-
Bradley: You searching for your man? I think he went towards the cabin. 
TJ: He ain't my man. I'd be with a woman if any of 'em were attractive. 
Bradley: Ya, sure. 

Marsha: Moi ees here. 
Irma: Join us, won't you?
Marsha: For feeshean? Moi cannot see 'y net. 
TJ: Well, I'd love to join this wonderful fun-fest but I think I must be off. 
I need to, ugh, pee.  
Marsha: Too mush informattionation! 

Bradley: That is how you fish? That is crazy weird. 
You don't cast like that, Marsha. 
Irma: I didn't think you enjoyed fishing, sir. 
Bradley: I don't. She is destroying it. 
Marsha: They shtole moi's cloths! 

Clyde: Hello there little froggy!
Frog: ...
Clyde: I can't believe someone caught such a beauty and treats it this way? 
Frog: ...
TJ: Clyde? Is that you in the cabin? 

Clyde: It indeed is. Where you off to? 
TJ: The bathroom! Why you need to know? 
Clyde: No reason. See ya, TJ. 
TJ: Goodbye, Clyde.  

Bradley: Fishing! Fish-ing! Will I ever catch anything, ever? 
Like will I ever? I've got nothing. 
Tatiana: Patience, grasshopper. Time is a virtue. 
Bradley: We don't have time! We're in a competition, lady! 
Tatiana: Nonsense. The competition isn't until next month. 

Irma: You are mistaken, Tat. We are currently on a reality show called Hunt or Be Hunted. Hmm, how ironic. We returned to the place where hunting begins.
Bradley: Ha. That is funny. 
Irma: I wonder if our next challenge will be actual hunting. 
Bradley: Ooh, where we kill each other! I'm kidding. 

TJ: That bathroom stinks. Like both physically and metaphorically. 
As if I know that word, brain. 
Cameraman Joe: Why's it so dark in there? 
TJ: I don't know man, light's broken. No windows. 
Cameraman Joe: That why you're sad? You couldn't stare at yourself. 

Clyde: Fantastic butterfly! Fantastic! 
Butterfly: ....
 Clyde: Fine, don't speak. I don't need you. 
Butterfly: ....

TJ: Clyde, I'm up on the roof now. 
Clyde: Oh, you slipped past me. How's the view? 
TJ: It's...oh, you know, fine. Ugly. Picture whatever. 
Cameraman Joe: The things I do for this job. 

Tatiana: Patience-
Bradley: Oh my lord! I caught a box. I caught a box! 
Irma: That is wonderful, Bradley sir.
Bradley: What could be inside? *he opens the box* PARSLEY! 

Marsha: Moi ees angreh! 
Irma: Why would you be? He caught parsley of all things. 
Marsha: Moi wood leek to opin books! 
Irma: Your time will come, Marsha dear. Be patient. 

TJ: The view from up here is...wonderful. I suppose. 
Yeah, I suppose. 
 Clyde: Could I potentially join you up there? 
TJ: I ain't able to stop ya. Not now. 
Clyde: Oh....okay, cool. Yeah. 

TJ: You coming up or what? This spare seat ain't gonna be here forever, you know. 
Clyde: Oh, right. Wait- here comes Irma. 
TJ: Whatever you want, man. 
Clyde: Yeah, okay. 

Bradley: Parsley! Woo! My first catch! 
Marsha: Ya relleah happeh about thit, uh? 
Bradley: Have you ever caught parsley before? I don't think so. 
Marsha: Moi em bettah them ewe. 

Irma: Check mate. 
Clyde: Irma, that was your first move. You can't have-
Irma: I have won. Or, I know I will. 
Clyde: You can't say that! You haven't even let me play yet.

Irma: Aha! I've won it! Check mate. 
Clyde: It's my turn, Irma. My turn to-
 Irma: To win? That is uncertain. Not possible. 
Clyde: Is this because I beat you in Foosball the other day? Is that why? 

Bradley: Parsley! What was I thinking? I didn't win anything.
I just caught a box with one thing of parsley. One thing. 
 I shouldn't be so excited about catching parsley. 
So stupid! 
Cameraman Frederick: You shouldn't say stuff like that.

Bradley: Here little bug. Here. Let me catch you so you can eat this fresh parsley. Fresh parsley.  You know you want the fresh parsley. 
 Bugs: ...
Bradley: Come here. I won't hurt you....YES! GOT ONE! 
Ha, in your face parsley box from the ocean! 
Bugs: ...

Marsha: *singing* No do tigur when yu're pussycat!
Moi will eet y'all alaif! 
 'Aaturz are DUMB!
No do tigur when yu're pussycat!

TJ: Why am I eating yogurt?
Cameraman Joe: I have no clue, TJ. You decided that on your own. 
TJ: Oh right! There was nothing else of substance in that fridge. 
Irma: Aha! I won at chess again!

TJ: Clyde isn't even playing anymore, Irma. 
Irma: What? Oh right. He isn't. I beat myself! Ha! 
I beat the computer. 
TJ: You can't play chess by yourself. 
Irma: When you are a Roboot, you sure can. 

Clyde: Burn baby burn! Oh, I didn't notice the camera. 
Hey parents! Say hey to Abigail for me. 
 I hope they heard that message. I do hope so. 
Irma: Aha! I won again! 
Clyde: Is she still playing chess? I left five minutes ago. 

Marsha: *singing* No do tigur when yu're pussy- CAT!
 No do tigur when yu're pussycat!

Dey leavin' nastee commantarey, but moi no gives in!
Dey do eet for sum reeson: 'Cuz moi am da bomb!
Haaatuz ar-a mean and mouse 'n alzow rlly dumb!
Marsha: Wheet ees that? A tunnil? 
Bradley: A tunnel? Looks more like a dark pathway to someplace. 
Should we check it out? 
Marsha: Bradleh! Herro, it's moi. 
Bradley: Yeah, I know. 

.
.

TJ: So who's heading in there? Looks extra fun. Maybe we send in Clyde. 
Or should I say, my husband. 
Clyde: I guess I can become used to that term. 
Irma: You both are not married. You cannot use that term. 
TJ: It's a silly joke, Irma. I wouldn't marry Clyde. 

 Bradley: Well, after that harsh comment, I'll go. 
Clyde: No, I will. I might not be the fittest, but I should go. 
Bradley: Don't be silly, Clyde. I will go. 
Marsha: Moi vollumeterres as tribune!

 TJ: No, I will go. Everyone has put up with me for long enough. 
I've pissed off you all at least once. If I die, no one will miss me. 
Bradley: TJ, that's not true-
TJ: It is. It is true. You all tolerate me because you're forced too. 
Irma: Well, it was pleasant, sir Thomas.

 TJ: My name isn't Thomas! Can you lump-heads quit it? 
Please, if I die I'd rather not have my last memory be people guessing my name. 
Bradley: Well, if you were to confess to what it really is, I won't mind. 
TJ: Would everyone love that? If I just spoke up? 
Irma: Oh yes, TJ. Tell us all! 

 Marsha: Tall iss! Tall iss!
Clyde: What she said! What she said! 
Marsha: 'ou canneot copeh moi! 
Clyde: What she said! What she said!

 Bradley: Guys, he's already gone. He only whispered his name into my ear. 
Irma: Tell us, please. I could not find any information on 'TJ Duncan' in my search. 
Marsha: Bradleh diesn't kneed to till us. 
Bradley: His real name is in fact......

.
.

 TJ: Wow. This place is stunning. Looks like I found a new place to bring the ladies for the romantic nights out. 
Cameraman Joe: Would you like me to alert the others? 
Or are we spending this time....alone?
TJ: Get out, Joe! I'm a straight white male! I make up the population!

Cameraman Joe: This view is absolutely...oh, wow. 
I can't even word this sentence. 
TJ: Shut up, Joe. Do I need to slap you? 
Cameraman Joe: No. 
TJ: Good. I can easily push you off this cliff and forget about you.  

 Clyde: Tell us his name! Hurry up! 
Irma: We would like to know, Bradley! 
TJ: Guys, I can hear everything. I'm coming back now. 
No, Joe, I won't tell them about this. 
Cameraman Joe: It's your decision to lie.

 .
.

 Marsha: *singing* No do tigur when yu're pussycat!
Bradley: See, he didn't die. He can tell you his real name if he wants to. 
Clyde: That's promising. He doesn't even talk to us. 
Irma: *singing* No do tigerrrrr..


Marsha: Eermarr, shat ip! Only moi seengs the 'aters song! 
TJ: I'm back. I nearly died, but here I am. 
I'm afraid I found nothing there. Just a pathway. 
Bradley: Then we should walk it! 
Clyde: I think we should head back to camp now. 

 ----

 Bradley: I don't know if I am ready to say goodbye to this temporary home. 
It's been fun out here in the wild. 
Irma: I will be grateful to be back inside and away from bugs. 
TJ: I will be happy to be away from the lot of you. 
Marsha: Ewe dint meen that.

 Bradley: We did it. We lasted this day in the open air. 
I just wanted to say that no matter who leaves and who stays, that we will remain friends-
Clyde: Oh, sure, Bradley. Friends. 
Marsha: With beenefeetss? Ahah. 
Bradley: No, Marsha. None of those benefits.

 TJ: I'm sorry for my comment earlier. 
Clyde: Which one? Marriage or me in general? 
TJ: All of them. Everything I've said to you in the past. 
I...don't mean to destroy people. 
Clyde: I am just glad you didn't physically hurt me. 
Or lie to me.

 Irma: My stomach is attacking me! Lasting this long without proper robotic functional food is killing me. Not that I can die by hunger. 
Marsha: Moi deed not meen 'toes' beenefeets. 
Irma: They don't understand you, Marsha. I do. 
We are the only remaining females here. 
Marsha: Moi ees onleh born femm-male.

 Bradley: Thank you for this opportunity, Greta Francis. 
Clyde: We haven't heard from her in a while. 
It's very peaceful out here. 
TJ: Peaceful indeed. Brad, you need a marshmallow? 
Bradley: Yeah. 
Irma: Some- no, I definitely enjoyed this.

Clyde: I think we all did. 
Marsha: Ahhh! Feire! Halp! Halp me! 
TJ: Toss the stick back in the fire, Marsha. 
Marsha: Oopsie. *she tosses the stick* 

----

Voice: Hello there. Directly after another episode of Hunt or Be Hunted, don't miss the next episode of A Talk With Reality Stars. Tonight, two newly eliminated stars chat about what their time in the game. 

 Cora: *with absolutely no enthusiasm* I do wish I could have stayed around for another week at least. I absolutely despise Derek. I could not believe that horrendous doctor. It is not racist to vote out the black male. It is racist to vote out the white female. Anyway, I wish a select few the best of luck. No jury time for me. The scientists are close by to take me home soon.

 Kyle: I know how you feel. As you know, I competed on Abnormality before you did and I was sent home prematurely without much reason as well. Luckily, no one was homophobic in that season. By the way, don't you just love my new hair? 
Cora: *with no enthusiasm* Yeah, so much. 
Kyle: Anyway, I recently lost on Sims Reality All-Stars Season 2, and so here I am. I just couldn't pinpoint who the Mole is. 

 Cora: *with no enthusiasm* Would you like my honest opinion? 
Kyle: Uh, I don't see why not? About what, of course? 
Cora: *with no enthusiasm* I think the Mole is that one guy married to the Japanese woman
Kyle: Brock? He was eliminated with me.  
 Cora: *no enthusiasm* Wasn't that Tyler?

 Kyle: There was no Tyler on that show.
Cora: ....
Kyle: Anyway, now that I'm free to do whatever I want, I'm moving away from reality shows and settling down somewhere. I think it's best for me to leave this lifestyle behind and stick to painting. Dexter and I are still together-


 Cora: *with no enthusiasm* I am so very thrilled for you. However, I need to admit that your life is not as thrilling as mine. 
Kyle: I'm sorry, what? 
Cora: *with no enthusiasm* Your life is not fascinating, Kyle. You do not act fascinating at all in those reality competitions and I wish I had made it further than you. 


Kyle: There is always another chance for you, Cora Kinsey. 
I may been eternally pissed at you for calling me 'not fascinating' but I believe in you. 
Cora: *with no enthusiasm*The scientists will never allow me to compete again.
Kyle: Maybe you could possibly finally have a normal life. 
Cora: *with no enthusiasm* I don't know. 

----

Greta: Hello, and welcome back! I hope you enjoyed following the remaining contestants around on their camping adventures. Now, it is time to return to the action and witness the reveal of the results for the latest quiz. 

Greta: The towel of greatness will reveal not one, but two ultimate powers. 
Which lucky or unlucky contestants will wield its magical ability?  
Joe: Would you like me to bring in the contestants now? 
Greta: Not yet, Joe. Soon. 

Joe: Okay, call me when you are ready. 
Greta: I won't ever be ready for you. Oh, sorry, you meant with the contestants. My apologies. 
Joe: Yeah, sure. Just be glad I slept with Bradley in that tent. 
Greta: Well, I did call ahead to ask for the rest to be thrown out. 

Joe: I'm sorry, Greta, I couldn't hold them back. 
Greta: It's fine, Joe. Welcome back, Ted Pleasanton and Devra Eden. 
Devra: Chop chop, Teddy.
Ted: I am moving as fast as I can, Devra. 

Greta: I trust you are enjoying the new house before Round 2 begins. 
Devra: Well, it isn't my castle but it is better than sleeping outdoors. 
Ted: It has been pleasant so far. 
Greta: More from the two of you later. Here comes the others. 

Irma: Look at me in this dress. Much better than those outdoors clothes. 
Bradley: Bet I'm the fastest one here. Race ya! 
TJ: You win this time, bro. Nice suit. 
Clyde: Oh thank you TJ! Yours too. 

Marsha: Weight for meh! 
Bradley: Come on, Marsha! You'll be late. 
Marsha: 'Aters gonna 'ate 'ate 'ate. 
Moi's jist 'onna 'ake, 'ake, 'ake, 'ake. 'Ake eet oof.  
Greta: Come now, Marsha. The others are waiting.  

TJ: Thanks for that wonderful trip, hostess.
Bradley: It was such a wonderful trip. 
Thank you for the tent. Although I feel terrible for the others. 
Irma: You do not need to feel bad for us. 
Clyde: There will probably be a next time. 

Greta: I hope everything went swimmingly! 
Park Ranger Eddie and Fisher Tatiana met with you all? 
All: Yes! Of course! 
Greta: That's great! We should announce the highest scorer from the quiz now. 
I can say that they were in fact.....
























































 

Greta: Irma Roboot! Congratulations! 
As always, I cannot announce your score just yet. 
I will be able to on finale day. 
Irma: I did it! I am so proud of myself now. Finally! 
Greta: With that, the towel of greatness is yours. 

Greta: I said earlier this episode that the towel, while soft and comfortable, is more important than you think. Well....this towel will move you one step closer towards safety. It does not automatically save you, but give you an advantage in the next challenge. 
Irma: Yes to me. Thank you, Greta. 
Greta: However, that is only part one of the greatness. After the vacation, I asked the remaining contestants who they thought was least liked and that is....





































 

Greta: TJ Duncan!
TJ: Least liked? What a freaking nightmare. This because none of hot babes are here, ain't it? It's 'cause I insulted Clyde, ain't it?
Marsha: Moi deednet vot for ya. 
TJ: Thank you, Marsha. Bradley? You didn't? 

Bradley: I thought this would remain behind closed doors. 
TJ: This ain't a stinking affair, Brad! We ain't cheating! 
You can honestly tell me. 
Bradley: I....uh, well I....host, can I tell him? 
TJ: You can freaking tell me! 

Greta: If you really must, you can 'freaking' tell him. 
Clyde: If you want someone to confess, I voted for you! 
TJ: I apologized and everything, bro! I considered marrying you. 
Clyde: Really? 
TJ: No, you idiot! 

 Irma: I did not vote for you, I swear. 
Robots are sworn to honesty, sir. 
TJ: At least some people are honest.
Bradley: Says you. 
TJ: I'm sorry, what was that?

 Bradley: I'm your bro and all but you think I believe you about that tunnel?
A close friend of mine frequents that place. 
Clyde: When did you want to tell us that, Bradley? 
Marsha: Uh huh. Ewe leed too. 
Bradley: I know. I only just remembered.

 TJ: So I lied about that clearing? Who bloody cares? 
The view was the only great thing about it. 
Bradley: I care! You are my closest friend here and you lie to me.
Your real name isn't Jacob! 
Clyde: Jacob! What? 
Irma: But his name is TJ? Did he-

 TJ: I don't like admitting to people what my real name is. 
You don't like admitting that your hair is dyed! 
Bradley: The ladies love red hair! Look at Irma! 
Irma: The scientists chose this colour! 
Marsha: Moi's herr ees died two!

 Bradley: I hope we can remain friends after this competition, TJ. 
TJ: Of course, dude. I am sorry for the lying. 
My ex dumped me for lying too much. 
Clyde: What an odd day we've had. 
Devra: Very true.

 Ted: Watching them live today was a real treat! Enjoyed it thoroughly. 
Devra: When they shared a tent! Priceless for the peasants. 
You can come to my wedding, Ted. 
Ted: You mean it! Thank you! 
TJ: No one wanna bother stopping me from bombing this place?

 Greta: Bart and Joe will stop you. 
TJ: Oh, Joe! Bloody brilliant! He better not touch me.
Greta: He won't. Bartholomew will. Anyway, with TJ running off like that, 
I will announce what would have occurred from that vote. TJ's hunter will earn two points, which means that........













 

 Greta: Welcome to the final five, Bradley. 
Bradley: I did it! Wow, thank you so very much. 
Ted: Good to see you again, Bradley. 
Devra: You are going to love the victory house!
 
Greta: The three of you will be competing next week for the final two spots in the second round. I wish you all the best of luck in advancing forward. 
Marsha: Moi 'ill doo moi's beast. 
Irma: Irma has this in the bag. 
Clyde: Clyde is confused. 

 Greta: And that brings us to the end of the eighth episode of the second season of High Hopes, more commonly known as Hunt or Be Hunted. Tonight's episode, entitled 'Try Everything' was brought to you by this one company that sells leather boots and this other company known for soda. My name is Greta Francis, and stay tuned for the next episode of A Talk With Reality Stars!
 

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